


Alone again

by laddyuna



Category: Ore ni Koi Shite Dousunda
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Incest, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-24 11:08:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 78,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7505988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laddyuna/pseuds/laddyuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryouji tries to deal with his guilt and his feelings toward Tora.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Distance

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys!  
> I love this manga and i felt so sad to know that Yoneda Kou dropped it that i wanted to write something. English is not my language so i'm sorry for the faults. Don't hesitate to give me your opinion (bad or good).  
> it starts at the end of the last chapter, after the date at the amusement park.  
> See you!

When they returned from their “date”, Tora and his uncle didn’t exchange a single word on the road. They went back to home and had dinner before going to sleep in each other bedroom (actually, the storage room for Tora). They didn’t have sex this night. The next day, nothing really had changed in their attitude. Ryouji seemed to be lost in his thoughts and Tora didn’t dare to ask him anything. The teenager began to wonder if he had said something wrong at the amusement park. In fact, he just said what he was feeling at this moment. He wanted to be closer to Ryouji, even if he knew his uncle had a bad temper and wasn’t the kind of guy who could have a “normal” relationship with anyone. He was messy, arrogant, proud, selfish and aggressive. But Tora felt happy with him.

The two men were having their breakfast. The atmosphere was a bit uncomfortable for the both of them.

 _“What should I do? I thought this date would improve things between us but it is worse now! He didn’t talk to me since yesterday!”_ thought Tora sadly. _“What did I do wrong?”_

Ryouji finished his meal and got up. “Don’t wait for me to have dinner tonight. I’m gonna work late.”

Tora nodded. “Okay. I’ll let you something in the fridge.”

His uncle took his keys and left the apartment without saying anything else. Tora did the dishes before leaving after him. He couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday. They had fun together and Ryouji had been nice with him, buying a can of juice and being patient all the day agreeing to do what Tora wanted. But after that, nothing. He became distant.

 _“I don’t know what to do...Maybe he got tired of me?”_ Thought Tora. _“What an idiot I am! It’s not like we were a couple. It’s just for sex, I know but...it’s better than nothing.”_

During all the day, Tora couldn’t concentrate in class. He was thinking and thinking again. His friend Shibuya noticed it and decided to ask him during their lunch break. They were on the roof, eating their bento.

“So? How was your date?” asked Shibuya.

“Fine...”

“And?”

“And...nothing. We came back and nothing happened after that.” Sighted Tora.

“Oh...so you two didn’t have sex?”

“No...i don’t know what to do, Shibuya.”

“Okay, tell me what happened exactly during the date.”

“Hum...I proposed to go to the amusement park so we went there. It was nice and...I just said I wanted to be loved too...I mean, sex is good but I’m in love so i wondered if someday my feelings would be shared and would be mutual.”

“So, you said you didn’t want only sex in your relationship? What did she say?”

Tora blushed, smiling. Shibuya was a good friend but even if Tora always said “he” when he was talking about his sex friend, Shibuya didn’t understand and thought it was a girl.

“Nothing. I just wanted to say my feelings were sincere and I’d like to be loved in return. I didn’t complain about sex. Is it so wrong?”

“No, but maybe your friend didn’t understand the same thing. I mean, maybe she doesn’t want to consider things seriously between you two because she’s not ready yet.”

“Yes, you’re right...what do you think i should do? We didn’t talk since we came back.”

“Was she angry or something?”

“No, just distant...”

“I see.” Shibuya made a pause, thinking.” You know, I think you should let her more time to accept your feelings. I’m sure she’s gonna return yours but you have to be patient.”

“But...i don’t think we want the same thing...” replied Tora.

“Okay, she wants sex and you want more, right? She accepted to go on a date with you so it means that she cares about you or she wouldn’t have come. She did something for you, so do something for her in return. I know you’re shy, so I suppose you’re not the one who asks for sex, do you?”

The blond blushed harder. “Shibuya!!”

“What? I’m just trying to help you!”

“I know but...it’s embarrassing!!”

“I suggest you to take some initiatives. Be active and she will notice you care about her desires and she will like it.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah! It won’t hurt you to try anyway.”

“I’m gonna think about it. Thanks for listening Shibuya. I suppose I bother you all the time with my problems...”

“No, I’m fine. Don’t worry. If I can help you, it’s a good thing.”

 

* * *

 

Ryouji was trying to concentrate on his work but he was too tense for this. He turned his anger against his computer, hitting the screen and the keyboard violently when he didn’t manage to do what he wanted. He groaned and complained for anything during all the morning. His colleagues were a bit surprised because even if Ryouji wasn’t an easy and calm guy, he wasn’t so upset usually. Hirose guessed it was probably related to his nephew. Only something with Tora could put Kase Ryouji in this state. Hirose laughed softly thinking about it.

 _“Tora-kun really makes Sempai lose all of his abilities...i wonder if something happened between them?”_ he asked to himself.

 He was interrupted in his thoughts when Ryouji called him. “Oi! Hirose! Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Outside. I wanna buy some cigarettes before the meeting with our contact.”

“Yes. I’m coming Sempai.”

The two men left their office and took the car. Ryouji was driving. Hirose thought maybe he needed to talk.

“Sempai...you seem to be upset today. Something happened with Tora-kun?”

“Why do you think everything in my life is related to this stupid kid???? It’s not your business anyway!!!” glared at him Ryouji, angrily.

“Don’t be so mean with me, will you? I’m trying to help!”

“And when did i ever request your help, shithead?”

Hirose felt hurt. “Damn! I wonder why Tora-kun loves you so much! Your personality is horrible and you insult me all the time!!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I CUT YOUR TONGUE!!!” Yelled Ryouji, hitting Hirose. They missed to have an accident with their car.

 

 

Late on the night, Ryouji returned at home. He had deposed Hirose first. On the road, he was thinking about what his kouhai said to him, earlier on the afternoon.

_“I wonder why Tora-kun loves you so much!”_

He laughed. “I wonder it myself too...”

He introduced his key to open the door but he was surprised to see it wasn’t locked. It meant that Tora wasn’t asleep. When he entered, he saw the little blond on the couch, reading a magazine with the tv on.

“Welcome back Ryouji.”

“Why are you still awake? I told you to not wait for me, idiot!”

“My teacher is sick so I don’t have class tomorrow morning. I already ate but i wasn’t asleep.”

“Hum...” muttered his uncle.

Tora approached. “Should i warm you up your plate? I made some rice with beef and onions.”

“No, i’m not hungry. I’m gonna take a bath.” Replied the tall man, avoiding his nephew.

Tora felt disappointed but he didn’t give up. “ _Maybe he had a bad day_?” thought the teenager.

During his bath, Ryouji couldn’t forget Tora’s expression. He didn’t understand why his sad face was making him horny every time. He managed to restrain himself. In fact, he just wanted to rip Tora’s clothes and fuck his brain out. He wanted so badly to spread his legs and put it in roughly making Tora scream his name again and again...

Having these kind of thoughts, Ryouji realized he became hard. He didn’t do it since a whole week and he began to feel the lack of sex was driving him aggressive and upset. He started to jerk off in his bath.

 _“I_ _can’t believe I’m jerking off thinking about this bloody kid!!”_ he said to himself. He wanted to have sex with Tora but a part of him felt guilty to use him this way.

 _“Fucking Hirose! That’s his fault!!”_ he complained. At the beginning of their relationship, Ryouji didn’t care about having sex with his nephew. If sex was good, it didn’t matter anyway. But Hirose made him realize it was unfair to abuse Tora’s trust, using him for his sexual desires when the teenager had feelings for him. His guilt grew up during their date at the amusement park when Tora said to him he hoped to be loved by Ryouji. Remembering this scene, the tall man came, jerking off, recalling Tora’s face crying. “Fuck!”

He left the bathroom and returned in the living room. His nephew was sitting on the floor, back against the sofa when he saw his uncle. Ryouji approached and sat on the couch, without saying a word, taking the remote. He was hoping with his coldness Tora would go to sleep quickly because he didn’t know how to control his desires anymore.

“ _Go to sleep, fucking idiot or i won’t be able to contain myself!!!”_ thought Ryouji.

Tora blushed, looking down. “ _Okay, Tora! You can do it! Stop being a coward!”_

The little blond moved closer and faced Ryouji, avoiding eye-contact.

“What?” asked the man.

But the teenager didn’t reply and went down, staying on his knees. He started to rub Ryouji’s pants between his legs. He could feel his arousal.

“ _Don’t tell me he’s gonna...”_ wondered Ryouji when Tora put down his pants and his boxer to let appear his hard cock. His uncle didn’t make any move, waiting for more and to see how far Tora would go. Besides, he was frozen; he never expected something like that from him.

His nephew began to rub his cock slowly, blushing. _“How embarrassing it is!!!”_ Since Ryouji was already hard, he didn’t waste time and covered his organ with his mouth. _“Damn! I forgot he’s huge!!”_

Ryouji fixed Tora with lust and put his hand behind his head, enjoying his work. He could feel Tora’s wet tongue licking his cock. On the same time, the teenager was rubbing it and caressing his testicles with his hands. His uncle closed his eyes, taking so much pleasure that he literally wanted to fuck Tora’s mouth.

 _“More! Give me more!!”_ Thought Ryouji. He couldn’t restrain anymore and gripped Tora’s face with his hands, thrusting his organ deeper in his mouth. The little blond was caught by surprise and coughed quickly, but continued, even if it became uncomfortable for him.

 _“He seems to like it better this way...”_ Tora gave a quick look to his uncle who was fixing him, still holding Tora’s head with his hands. He wanted to see if he was feeling good and felt relieved when he understood it was the case.

Ryouji was containing his voice. Tora’s moans were making him harder. He never received head from him before. He never asked or did it because he was too impatient. Actually, the boy was pretty good at this. Ryouji was trying to control himself to not be too rough with the blond but it was harder each time he stuck his cock in Tora’s mouth. After several minutes, he gripped his head from behind and literally forced the blond to take his entire organ in his mouth and came without telling him first. The teenager coughed and began to suffocate when Ryouji released him. The semen was pouring out of his mouth, covering his lips. He swallowed a part of Ryouji’s come.

 _“Pretty enterprising for a brat! I never would have imagined he would do that...”_ thought Ryouji, fixing his nephew. He was about to move closer to him when Tora began to strip, still on his knees. He took off his shirt and pulled down his pants and his boxer, still avoiding eye-contact with his uncle. Ryouji was fixing him, keeping silent, a bit disoriented because Tora was usually a shy person. He could see by himself how it was hard for the blond to do all these things in front of his uncle. When they had sex, Tora always stayed passive and let his uncle do the job. Ryouji never complained about that either because he looked for his own pleasure first. But it was completely different today. In fact, he didn’t dislike it. On the contrary, it made him aroused harder.

Tora sat on the floor, completely naked, and spread his legs. He was facing Ryouji. He put his hand to his lips and opened his mouth to let pouring the semen he didn’t swallow. He moved his hands between his legs and began to rub his entrance with his fingers, covered by Ryouji’s come. He introduced one finger, then two, to prepare himself. The blond blushed, biting his bottom lip to endure the pain and the shame. He was so embarrassed that he wanted to run away, but he wanted to please his uncle. He knew a simple blowjob wouldn’t be enough for him. He wanted to make him forget women to be the only one for Ryouji.

The other man was fixing the scene in silence, with lust and shame. He knew how much Tora was embarrassed.

 _“Why do you force yourself this way?”_ Thought Ryouji. _“It’s obvious it hurts. You’re going too fast...”_

Ryouji moved closer and grabbed Tora’s hand to stop him. The teenager finally looked at him, a bit scared when his uncle kissed him deeply. The tall man caressed Tora’s chest with his large hands gently to make him relax. He released his mouth and fixed him in the eyes before kissing him on the cheek softly. Tora was a bit disconcerted because Ryouji wasn’t so gentle usually but he liked it. He suddenly felt Rouji’s fingers stretching his entrance slowly.

“Aaahhh!!!” moaned Tora. It didn’t hurt but he had been surprised by the sudden sensation. “Ry..Ryouji...aahhh!!”

His uncle continued to kiss him on the cheek and on the neck when he noticed Tora was hard. “You still owe me royalties. Rub your cock.” Asked Ryouji.

But the little blond shook his head. “N..no...”

The other man became pissed and pushed his finger deeper in his ass. “Twerp! You’re playing the prudish after all what you did to seduce me? I told you to masturbate! Do it!” ordered Ryouji.

“I...don’t wanna...Aaaahhh!!!! Ryouji! Your fingers!!! Too deep!!” moaned Tora.

“You’re gonna do what i say! Stupid brat!!!” complained his uncle, stretching the little passage adding another finger.

“Please!! Take it out!! Aaahhhh!!”

“Then, do it!”

“But...aaahh!! I don’t wanna...because...”

“Because what?”

“Because...i’m gonna..come..”

“So what?” asked Ryouji.

“I...” cried Tora. “i don’t...wanna come this..way..by myself...i wanna...Ryouji make me come...”

The tall man stopped immediately and fixed the poor blond, crying. His cock was dripping with precome and he understood it was painful for the teenager to contain himself.

“Then, i’m gonna make you come.” Replied Ryouji. He moved closer and positioned himself in front of Tora’s entrance and put it in slowly. When his cock was a bit inside of him, he thrust him in all the way, making the blond come.

“Aaaahhhhh!!!!!” cried Tora. His stomach was covered by his semen.

“Already?” asked Ryouji. “We just started...”

“Aaah...Ryouji!”

 “Relax Tora because i’m particularly insatiable tonight.” He put his hands on Tora’s hips and kissed him. “Relax.” He began to move.

Tora gripped his back with his hands and moaned loudly each time he felt Ryouji’s cock hitting his prostate. He enrolled his legs around his waist and let his partner penetrate him, abandoning his body to him. Ryouji increased the rhythm and went faster.

“Ryouji! Aaahhh!! Not so rough!!” cried Tora.

“Don’t complain now! It’s your fault!” Ryouji didn’t slow down and continued to fuck him senseless when he reached the orgasm and came on the same time of his nephew. He made a short pause and grabbed Tora by the hips, carrying him to the bed. He put him on the back and went immediately on the top of him, spreading his legs again. He could see his own semen pouring out of his ass.

“There’s more to come.” Said the tall man when he entered Tora a second time, without letting him the time to protest or to recover.

Tora didn’t complain and let his uncle using his body until he had enough. He stopped counting how many times they did it during the night. He was exhausted after had come so much but Ryouji had a huge stamina so he knew he wouldn’t stop until he would be completely satisfied. After several times, he fell asleep without realising.

When Tora fell asleep, Ryouji covered his nephew with the blanket and went on the balcony to smoke. Tonight, Tora gave him more pleasure than the other days. It was probably because they didn’t do it during a whole week. But, in fact, everything had been different this time. It was hard for Ryouji to understand what it was but there had been something more, something he couldn’t describe...something it gave him more pleasure than the previous days.


	2. Pleasure

When Tora woke up the next morning, Ryouji was already gone. He looked at the alarm clock on the left: 8:00 a.m. The teenager rubbed his eyes and began to get up when he abruptly fell on the bed. His hips hurt and he remembered the last night.

 _“Damn...he should learn how to control his strength! Thanks God I don’t have class this morning because I wouldn’t have been able to walk!”_ thought Tora.

The little blond walked with difficulties to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast. Ryouji let him some rice with vegetables and eggs. Tora smiled, appreciating the fact his uncle took the time to prepare something for him before leaving. The previous night had been exhausting but he felt happy to see that he gave pleasure to Ryouji. In fact, Tora enjoyed it too. It just had been embarrassing...very, very embarrassing! Doing all these kind of things was just impossible for Tora usually but he decided to follow Shibuya’s advice taking initiatives and he didn’t regret.

 _“Maybe I should be more attentive to his desires? This way, I could be closer to him...”_ wondered Tora. These last days, before the date, he avoided Ryouji after had hearing him talking with Hirose. At this time, he felt hurt because he thought he was just a sex-partner among many others for his uncle. It wasn’t like he didn’t know it, but a part of Tora hoped he could have been different than the women with Ryouji used to sleep. He had been also disappointed and offended to know that even if Ryouji slept with him, he continued to see and have sex with women. After that, he took his distances with him and he even thought leaving the apartment to rent a place in the city with the money his mother gave him every month. But after have talked with Shibuya, he renounced and decided to persist.

_“Shibuya is right: after all, he accepted to go on a date with me, so that means he cares about me, but I have to be patient. He sees me as a kid and I can’t force him to change his feelings; besides, he wasn’t even gay at the beginning but he has sex with me...”_

Tora never had been attracted to men before. He had some girlfriends and was pretty popular because people found him cute. Girls and boys confessed to him several times but it didn’t work. His last girlfriend dumped him because she didn’t find him enough manly. It was true that Tora was a bit weak and maybe too kind, but he was a man, for sure. His lack of confidence was a real problem, he couldn’t help it. But staying with his uncle, he felt secure. Ryouji was strong. He protected him. He even saved him when Kuroko dragged him in a trap. He was there. Always. He wasn’t alone anymore, thanks to Ryouji.

He smiled happily, thinking about this and began to eat his breakfast. After that, later on the morning, he took the time to shower and to clean the apartment since he had some free time.

 

* * *

Ryouji went to the city with Hirose. He had been sent to investigate on drug traffic in the old town. He wasn’t in bad mood today. After last night, he was feeling better and wasn’t as tense as he was before he and Tora had sex. He had been pleasantly surprised by his nephew. The teenager was shy usually, blushing and crying all the time. But this night, he took initiatives. Ryouji liked it because Tora gave good head and he even prepared himself for him. It was as if Tora understood him perfectly: he didn’t have to tell him what to do. The boy always cooked good things, cleaned the apartment, made all the chores and he was also good on bed. He knew how to satisfy Ryouji. Thinking about this, the tall man felt guilty. He never had tried to understand Tora’s feelings. He just enjoyed and took pleasure with his body. Yes, he liked his company, to talk with him during dinner...but he didn’t try to talk seriously about their relationship with his nephew.

“ _We’re not going out anyway. Why should I care about it?_ ” thought Ryouji, smoking a cigarette and waiting for Hirose. His colleague was talking on the phone.

Ryouji was also thinking about his sister. He was a bit ashamed to have sex with his nephew knowing that his sister trusted him and asked him to take care of her son during her absence.

 _“Fucking brat! He’s the one who seduced me! I didn’t complain about the fact he’s gay. What should i have done? He said he didn’t mind if we had sex even if I didn’t feel anything for him...and now he wants I love him back??”_ complained the detective, thinking. He didn’t notice Hirose came back to him.

“Sempai?”

“What?” groaned Ryouji.

“The boss said we can go back to the office. He’s gonna send a monitoring patrol.” Explained Hirose.

“Fine. Let’s go. You drive.”

On the road, Hirose couldn’t help to see that Ryouji was thoughtful but he didn’t want to argue with him again, especially when he was driving. He was surprised that his sempai was the first one to break the heavy silence.

“Do you think it’s bad?” asked Ryouji.

“What are you talking about Sempai?”

“Tora.”

“You mean, if your relationship with him is wrong?”

“Yeah.”

Hirose seemed to be embarrassed but he was always honest. “You know, it’s pretty unusual...and even more unexpected especially from you, Sempai...”

“What do you mean by “especially from you”?”

“Don’t be offended but you’re not an easy person...”

Ryouji glared at him and slapped his head. “Fucking idiot! I wonder why i ask your opinion!”

“Ouch!” Hirose rubbed his head. “Did you talk with Tora-kun lately?”

“No.”

“But, something happened, right? You seem different compared to yesterday.”

“We had sex yesterday.”

“Oh! Things are going better between you two. So, why are you so thoughtful?”

“He did the first move last night.”

“Wh..What?” blinked Hirose.

Ryouji rolled his eyes, annoyed. “I said : Tora did the first move yesterday. I didn’t ask or say anything and he sucked my dick.”

“Whoa!!”

“I never have imagined he could be so enterprising but he did it and after that, he even prepared himself for me.”

“He...prepared himself?”

“He fingered himself.”

Hirose became completely red, blushing harder. Ryouji had no shame to say it out loud. Sex was something perfectly natural for him and he didn’t care to be crude or something.

“So, i suppose it was good, right?”

“Even better than usual.”

“Then, what’s the problem?”

Ryouji sighted. “I was thinking about what you said when you told me you wondered why he loved me so much.”

“Why? I thought you didn’t care and you just wanted sex with him. Did he say something to you?”

“He asked me to go on a date with him about two days ago. He seemed to be depressed since the last time you came at home so i agreed and we went to the amusement park.” Began to explain Ryouji.

“You...went on a date with Tora-kun????” blinked Hirose in shock.

“What?”

“You’re full of surprises today, Sempai!”

“Shut up, little shit!!”

“Don’t call me like that!!” complained Hirose. “And? What happened during your date?”

“He said he wanted that I love him back.”

Hirose made a pause, imagining the scene between the two men. He understood why his sempai felt so tense lately.

“Do you feel anything for him, Sempai?”

“Are you stupid? He’s just a kid!! Besides he’s a guy! I’m not gay!” replied angrily Ryouji.

“But you had sex with him, more than once.”

“Sex is good with him.”

“Then, why do you care if your relationship is wrong or not?”

“Because...yesterday, he wanted to please me so badly that he even hurt himself. I saw how it was painful and embarrassing for him to prepare himself for me. He really forced himself. He would go so far away for me but i never did anything to seduce him or to make him think that i was interested to have a relationship with him. I never had been nice with him, so why he loves me so much?”

“Did you try to ask him?”

“No.” Ryouji took another cigarette. “It seems that sex isn’t enough for him. He was disappointed when you told him I fucked a chick the last time. He’s acting as if I was his lover!!”

“The real question is : What Tora-kun is for you, Sempai?”

“What do you mean?”

“You say you’re not his lover, but what is he for you? I don’t want to be mean but...Tora-kun isn’t a prostitute like Yumi-chan.”

“How dare you...” but Hirose cut him.

“Sempai, you can’t deny you’re using Tora-kun like a fuck-buddy. You said it yourself: you had sex with him the first time because you were hard. You know it, that’s why you wonder if you’re wrong to have sex with your nephew.”

Ryouji glared at him. He hated that but Hirose was right. He knew he was breaking Tora’s heart slowly, using him as his sex-partner without having feelings for him when, on the other side, Tora was in love with him. Besides, the fact that they were related was also a problem.

“To answer to your question, I think your relationship with Tora-kun isn’t wrong if you’re not hurting him. If you two love each other, it’s not a problem, even if he’s your nephew. But if you don’t feel anything for him, i suggest you to stop because you’re gonna break his heart.”

“He said he was okay to have sex with me.”

“Yes. He’s okay now because he’s hoping that one day you would have feelings for him.”

“I don’t want to love him.”

Hirose said nothing. “ _You say that, but I’m not sure you really mean it.”_ He thought.

“That’s enough! Hurry up and bring us back to the office. You drive like an old woman!”

“Hey! That’s nasty, Sempai!”

 

* * *

Tora came back to home early. He told everything what happened last night to Shibuya and thanked him for his advice. He decided he had to be more patient with Ryouji. He couldn’t expect his uncle changed completely his way of life and his attitude overnight. He made the dinner and took a shower, waiting for Ryouji. It was still hot, even if it was the end of the afternoon so Tora stayed just with his underwear. He was looking for some clothes in his stuff when he heard Ryouji.

“I’m back.”

The teenager took his clothes with him and went to welcome Ryouji, still with just his underwear. “Welcome back Ryouji.”

The policeman fixed his nephew with a surprised look. _“Does he try to seduce me again?”_ he asked to himself.

Tora understood his uncle was wondering why he came to welcome him, practically naked, and tried to justify the best way he could. “I took a shower and...i didn’t want to burn the dinner so i hurried up and...”

“The dinner is actually burning.”

“Damn!!!” panicked Tora, running toward the kitchen, letting his clothes falling on the floor. “It’s okay! It’s not burned completely but it’s just rice after all. I can do it again. The meat with the vegetables is in the fridge. It won’t be long, don’t worry.”

Tora put the apron and began to cook again, rinsing the rice. He didn’t notice Ryouji was still fixing him from behind. The tall man finished his cigarette and squeezed his fists, angrily.

 _“And now he’s cooking naked with an apron!! That’s enough!”_ he thought, walking faster toward the blond to grab him by the waist.

 “Ryouji?! Wait! I’m...”

“Shut the fuck up, idiot!! Don’t you think i don't see clearly what you’re trying to do with your little fucking game???”

“What??”

“Staying naked and cooking with just an apron and pretending to be so innocent!!! What do you think i am?”

“But it’s not what you’re thinking!! I promise that i...Ah!!! Ah! Please, stop it!” tried to explain Tora but the other man didn’t want to listen and started to rub him between the legs.

“I told you to shut up! Put your elbows on the counter!”

“But the rice...”

Ryouji pushed roughly the blond against the kitchen counter and put down his boxer to finger him.

“Ryouji! Please...i need..Ahh!! I have to finish co..cooking...”

“Then, cook!” replied the man, kissing his neck. He was rubbing Tora’s s cock and fingering him on the same time.

“How...can i..when you do these..ah!! Ahh!..these..things...” groaned Tora.

“What? You seemed to be hungry. I’m just feeding you!” smirked Ryouji.

“No...you’re ly...lying...”

“You’re the liar here! Look at how hungry your little mouth down here is...” joked the tall man, playing with Tora’s entrance.

“Plea..se...”

“Please what? More?”

The little blond didn’t reply. He was hot and uncomfortable in this position and situation. Ryouji never teased him usually. He was too impatient for this.

“Say it.”

“...Ah..ah...Ryouji...” moaned Tora. Ryouji was still teasing him with his fingers. _“Do it already and stop torturing me!”_

His uncle grabbed his chin and forced him to turn around his face a little bit, just enough to ravage his mouth kissing him. “Say it. Tell me what you want, Tora.”

The blond blushed harder but did what he was asking. “Y..You...”

“Louder! I didn’t hear anything!”

“You! I want..you...” repeated Tora. He was about to come but Ryouji put his thumb on the top of his penis to block his semen. “Ry..ryouji...Let me..come...” Tora was trembling and it was harder to contain himself.

“Then, tell me what you want me to do to you.”

_“He’s turning on a sadist, now!! Don’t you think i’m already submissive enough???”_

The man started to lose his temper. This little game was funny but he wanted to fuck now. But he wouldn’t do that until the kid would beg for this.

“Make..make me..”

“Speak louder!!”

“Take..me..” whispered Tora a bit louder.

“I SAID LOUDER!” complained Ryouji.

“FUCK ME WITH YOUR BIG COCK!!! Yelled Tora, exasperated.

Ryouji removed his fingers from his ass but didn’t release his cock. He wanted to make him come just with his ass and without stimulation. “Good boy! You said the magic words!”

 _“Idiot! Making me say these things_!!” muttered Tora in silence.

Ryouji presented his cock in front of Tora’s entrance and put it in roughly. The blond cried harder and practically fell on the floor. His legs were trembling so hard that he barely could stay on his feet. The tall man was really excited.

“So hot...Don’t squeeze my cock so hard with your ass!” complained Ryouji.

“It..It hurts...Ryouji...please..” cried Tora.

He made him turned around to face the blond and kissed him. He grabbed him by the waist and spread his legs to enter him again. “Relax...i’m gonna make you feel good.” He devoured his mouth and continued to take him, a bit gentler, when he felt Tora started to relax, loosening up.

“Ryou..Ryouji...”

“Tora...come for me...” Ryouji took his cock and rubbed it still penetrating him when Tora couldn’t take it anymore and came.

“Aaaahhh!!! Ryouji!!!”

The man never stopped to thrust him until he reached the orgasm and came inside of him. He moved deeper and faster two or three times before letting his come invade Tora’s ass.

“Come with me.”

“Where?” asked Tora, still exhausted.

“Bathroom. We need a bath.”

He carried the teenager to the bathroom. He prepared a bath and put Tora inside before joining him. He sat behind him, pressing Tora’s back against his torso. The blond didn’t move and let his head fall on his shoulder. He could feel Ryouji’s mouth kissing him on the neck and caressing his chest with his strong hands. Tora turned his head a bit to kiss him deeply.

 _“We’re taking a bath together...I can’t believe it_.” Thought Tora.

 “Let’s clean you up.” Said Ryouji, fingering him. The blond shivered when he felt the sudden intrusion. “Relax.”

“Ryouji...”

“What?”

“I..I love you...”

Ryouji didn’t reply. He didn’t know how to answer...but the little blond was so sincere and honest with his feelings that he couldn’t help it to find him cute. He grabbed his chin and kissed him.

 _“Why I’m like this with him?”_ wondered Ryouji.


	3. Happy routine

The next day, when Ryouji woke up, Tora wasn’t with him in the bed. After the bath and the dinner, Ryouji felt aroused again and they returned to the bed to have sex once more. Ryouji never had enough. He always wanted more, more and more again. He was lucky that the little blond had enough stamina to endure his sexual urges. Sometimes, Tora fell asleep in the middle of the act, but most of the time, he tried to satisfy his uncle. Ryouji got up and walked toward the kitchen. Tora was on his back, cooking, already dressed with his uniform. When he heard his uncle coming, he turned around and smiled.

“Morning Ryouji!”

“Mornin’...” replied the tall man, scratching his hair, yawning.

“Coffee?”

“Hum...” nodded Ryouji. He sat in front of his nephew, avoiding eye-contact with him. “Itadakimasu.”

“Itadakimasu.”

The two men began to eat in silence. Tora was perfectly at ease. After the last night, he felt a bit closer to Ryouji. On the contrary, the other man was uncomfortable. He had the impression to become weak in Tora’s presence. He didn’t want to respond to Tora’s love and affection. He wasn’t gay. Having sex with him didn’t mean anything for Ryouji. That was what he thought, trying to convince himself.

 _“It doesn’t mean anything_!!” he said to himself. He stopped to eat and lost his temper, hitting the table with his fist violently. The little blond jumped with fear, surprised.

“Ryouji? What’s wrong?” asked Tora.

“Nothing! I have to go.” Replied Ryouji, still angry.

“But...” Said Tora, but he didn’t have the time to ask anything else that Ryouji disappeared in his room, slamming the door behind him. Tora stayed in front of the door, worried, but he didn’t insist. It was useless and he risked making Ryouji angrier. He decided to return to finish his breakfast. After few minutes, the tall man went out of his room, dressed, forming a knot with his necktie. He was looking for his keys when Tora got up and approached, holding it to him.

“Here.”

His uncle turned around and grabbed his keys. “Thanks. See you.” He was about to leave when Tora grabbed his arm.

“Ryouji...I...” But he didn’t find the words. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t say “I love you” because his uncle wasn’t in the mood. But what else he could say?

The tall man became tense. He lost patience and caught his nephew in a strong and rough kiss. Tora blinked in shock when he realized what his uncle was doing. He didn’t have the time to kiss him back that Ryouji released him, breaking the kiss.

“See you tonight.” He concluded, leaving quickly.

Tora stayed frozen during few minutes before realizing what happened. “Bye...Ryouji!” but he was already far away. Tora blushed, touching his lips. “He kissed me...”

 

* * *

At the lunch break, Tora was eating with his friend Shibuya. They talked about school and other things when his friend decided to ask Tora about his sex-friend.

“So? Is there everything okay with your friend?” demanded Shibuya.

“Better. Things begin to change, I hope...”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...hum, we still have sex together but it’s a bit different now...it’s more...”

“Good?”

“I was about to say passionate but we also can say that.”

“It’s nice! I’m happy for you!”

“Thanks.”

Shibuya took off his glasses to clean it. “You know, i really envy you. I’d like to have a nice girlfriend too...” said his friend.

Tora blushed harder. He didn’t need to tell Shibuya he was having sex with his uncle but he could, at least, say that he wasn’t going out with a girl.

“Shibuya...you know, there’s something i’d like to tell you...”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“It’s about my friend...”

“Tell me.”

“You know...actually, my friend isn’t...”

“What? Thinking about this, you never showed me a photo or something.”

“Hum...yes but actually, “she” isn’t a girl...”

Shibuya frowned. “I’m not sure to understand what you’re talking about, Tora...”

“You know...” tried to explain the little blond completely red. “It’s...a man.”

His friend froze. He kept quiet during a long time when Tora broke the silence.

“Shibuya? Are you there?”

“Sorry...but maybe I heard wrong...”

“No. I told you my sex-friend is...a man.”

Shibuya blushed quickly. “Wh..at? You mean...you’re going out with a man???”

“Don’t say it that loud!” whispered Tora, looking around him, really embarrassed.

“Sorry!” His friend talked more calmly. “But...you’re gay?”

“No! I’m not!” protested Tora.

“But you said...”

“I said i’m having sex with a man. But it doesn’t mean that i like men. I just...love him.”

“Don’t misunderstand! I don’t mind if you like men...”

“I don’t like men! I told you: I just feel this thing for him.”

Shibuya put his glasses again and smiled to Tora. “I understand now why things are so complicated between you two. Is it someone that i know?”

“No. He’s a bit older than us.”

“You mean...you’re having sex with an adult?? But you’re still a teenager!”

“But i have the age of consent. It’s not a problem...”

“Sorry...but it’s a bit strange...i mean, you with someone older...”

“Hey! I told you he’s a bit older. I didn’t say he was forty or something!” replied Tora. “What do you think i’m doing? You thought i was dating a man who could be my father?? He is just ten years older than me.”

“Fine...sorry but it’s a bit unexpected...especially after the incident with Kuroko...” Shibuya saw Tora flinching when he mentioned this. “I didn’t want to remind you this, sorry...”

“It’s okay, don’t worry. My uncle was there to help me, so nothing happened. Anyway, i already had these feelings for him before that...”

“Does he know?”

“What? “

“Your friend. Does he know how much your feelings for him are serious?”

“I told him i loved him, several times.”

“But...did he really understand? Did you confess before going out with him or did you do it after?”

“I told him before.”

“So, he knew since the beginning you were in love with him, right?”

“Yes and so?”

“He accepted to go out with you, so that probably means something for him, don’t you think?”

“But he never said he loved me...and it’s not like we were a couple. We’re just sex-friends.”

“If he did it with you, it can’t be just for sex or he would have stopped to see you after had done it the first time.”

“You know...he’s a kind of guy who doesn’t like to have string attaches...”

“Like your uncle...Does he still bring prostitutes to his home?”

Tora blushed. _“Oh God! He’s gonna discover the truth...”_

“Tora?”

“Yes! I mean...Yes, Ryouji still brings women to his home...but when he does it, i go to see my friend...and i visit him a lot lately...” lied Tora.

“Does your uncle know that you’re going out with a man?”

“No! Why should i tell him?”

“You should be discreet because he’s a cop and if he discovers your friend is an adult, he’s gonna be on your back.”

“I know...” Tora sighted in relief. _“Thanks God he didn’t understand...”_

“You should have told me.”

“What?”

“That you’re sex-friend was a man. I thought you trusted me?”

“Actually, i never lied to you...besides, i always said “he” when i was talking about him. You’re the one who supposed it was a girl.”

“Ah?”

“Yes. It’s not my fault if you misunderstood.”

“I think you’re right.” Shibuya crossed his arms. “Can i ask you something?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“I know you told me you’re not gay...but have you ever thought about me this way?”

“??”

“You know...like a potential boyfriend?”

“How many times should i tell you i’m not gay???”

“But your sex-friend is a man!!”

“And i repeat: i just feel that way for him. I never ever thought about you this way!! You’re my best friend!!”

“Okay, okay...i’m fine with it, don’t worry. I just wanted to be sure that there was nothing else between us.” They began to leave to return inside of the building. “But why not? I mean, i’m good-looking right?”

Tora rolled his eyes. “Are you disappointed that i never thought about you like this?”

“Yes! I mean...no! I mean...maybe a little. But it’s just because i’m still single and i was wondering if i was ugly or something! That’s all. You’re my best friend too so...”

“Alright, i got it! You’re not ugly and don’t worry, you won’t be single eternally.” Said Tora. “And don’t start imagining things!”

“I don’t.” Laughed Shibuya. “But tell me more about your friend. Are you the top or the bottom?”

“You know what? Forget all the things i told you!” replied Tora blushing. _“As if Ryouji would be the bottom!!”_ Thought the blond.

 

* * *

During his day, Ryouji tried to concentrate but he couldn’t stop thinking about his nephew. He went on the roof to smoke. He was fixing the sky without really looking. He suddenly thought about what Hirose said to him the last time when they talked about Tora.

_“Tora-kun isn’t a prostitute... you can’t deny you’re using Tora-kun like a fuck-buddy... But if you don’t feel anything for him, i suggest you to stop because you’re gonna break his heart.”_

“I know that, fucking idiot!!” said Ryouji out loud. “I never wanted his love...” He was interrupted in his thoughts by his colleague.

“Sempai?”

“WHAT?” glared at him Ryouji.

 _“Okay...he’s in bad mood again!”_ thought Hirose. “I just brought you food for lunch break.”

“Hum...” muttered Ryouji, grabbing the little plastic bag without saying thanks. He sat and started to eat. Hirose sat at his left and ate with him.

“You’re mad at me?” asked Hirose.

“Why do you ask me that?”

“Because of what i told you yesterday about...Tora-kun?”

“Don’t wanna talk about this...” replied Ryouji, still pissed.

“As you wish.” Concluded Hirose. He continued to eat his meal. _“He’s clearly mad at me but he knows that i’m right...”_ The little man decided to change the subject of their conversation. “Anyway, i heard Hyodo had been transferred to another jail this morning.”

“Where he had been sent?”

“I don’t know. I just heard he had been transferred. The kid who dragged Tora-kun in his home will be judged in few days.”

“Alright...”

They didn’t exchange another word during the lunch and returned at work few minutes later. At the end of the day, Ryouji was driving to go back home. He couldn’t stop thinking about Tora...and he began to feel aroused. He tried to think about something else when his cell phone rang. He took the opportunity that he was stopped at the red light to see who was calling him. It was Yumi. The prostitute he was seeing sometimes. He didn’t answer.

 _“Not so long ago, i would have gone to screw her all the night...”_ he said to himself. But having these kind of thoughts made him aroused harder because he was thinking about Tora again. _“Damn!! I’m a man!! Why do i need to think about this kid all the time???”_ He threw his cell phone behind him with anger. He looked on his right and saw a shop. Instead of continuing his road, he decided to stop there to buy something. After had paid, he returned to his car and went to his home where Tora was waiting for him.

They ate together, talking about their days. Ryouji noticed Tora was particularly joyful tonight and he enjoyed seeing the little blond smiling. Actually, it made him excited, more than when he saw him crying. After the dinner, Ryouji went to take a shower. Tora made the dishes during this time and went to wash himself after his uncle. On the shower, the little blond was wondering if he and Ryouji would have sex tonight.

 _“Does he want to do it tonight? He seemed to be in good mood during the dinner but...”_ the blond started to rub his cock slowly. _“I should prepare myself. If he’s gonna do it, i won’t feel any pain this way...but it’s so embarrassing...”_ thought Tora.  He reached his entrance with his fingers and began to stretch it. The sensation was a bit painful but he knew Ryouji wasn’t patient to do it properly and he didn’t want to have to do this in front of him again, as the last time. If he could prepare himself now, he could say to his uncle to enter him immediately. After several minutes rubbing and fingering himself, he came. He finished his shower and joined the tall man on the living room; he was smoking, looking at the television. The blond sat near of him, fixing the tv nervously. Ryouji turned off the screen and took Tora’s arm, dragging the teenager with him without saying a word.

“Ryouji? What...” but Tora couldn’t finish his sentence that he was already in Ryouji’s room. The man finished his cigarette and closed the door behind him.

“Strip.”

Tora looked down. He was trembling. It wasn’t the first time they did it but it was still embarrassing. Ryouji crossed his arms and waited. After a moment of hesitation, Tora took off his clothes slowly and faced his uncle, naked.

“Lie down on the bed, on your stomach.”

He turned around and did it. He heard some noises of a plastic bag but stayed, face on the bed without looking. Ryouji approached and kneeled on the bed, behind him, admiring the view he had on Tora’s body. He was sexy.

“Lift your hips and spread your tights.”

Tora didn’t say anything and obeyed again. He suddenly felt something wet on his entrance and Ryouji’s hands on his ass. His uncle was licking his tight hole.

“Ah! Aahh!!” moaned Tora. He closed his eyes and squeezed his fists, biting the sheets with his teeth. It was the first time Ryouji was doing this to him and he felt incredible nice...” _Oh God!! It’s so good!!!”_

But the tall man stopped few minutes later. He took the little bottle he bought at the shop earlier and let pouring the liquid on his fingers and on Tora’s entrance. The coldness of the substance made Tora shivering.

“Wh..what is this?” asked the blond, nervous.

“Lube.” Replied Ryouji, inserting one finger in Tora’s rectum. He put another one then a third when Tora grabbed his hand.

“You...don’t need to...just...do it..” said Tora between moans.

“I need to prepare you.”

“I’ve ...already done it...in the shower...You..can do it..”

The tall man stopped. Tora already anticipated his actions and prepared himself for him. He knew he wanted to have sex and he didn’t want to make him waste his time with preparation. Even if he was glad and thankful to Tora, he couldn’t help it to be pissed on the same time.

“Damn! Why are you so...” began to complain Ryouji when he grabbed his ass with his two hands and thrust him roughly.

“Aaaah!!! Ryouji! Not so fast!!!”

“Shut up!!” He increased the rhythm and fucked him senseless. Tora was moaning. It hurt a bit, even if he prepared himself, but with the lube, it wasn’t as painful as the other times. Ryouji stopped and removed his cock to force his nephew to lie down on his back. He wanted to fuck from the front. He positioned himself again between his legs and entered him. Ryouji kissed Tora still fucking him roughly.

“Ry..Ryouji...please. T..Too..rough...” begged the blond.

But the tall man didn’t care and went deeper and faster. He took Tora’s cock with his hand and rubbed it to make him come.

“Aaaah!!! Comming...” cried Tora when he couldn’t hold back anymore and came. Ryouji didn’t let go his cock and continued to pump it, still penetrating him. “Ryouji...please...your hand...”

The man never stopped stimulating him. He knew Tora wouldn’t come again after that but he didn’t care. He was particularly rough tonight. His nephew wondered why. Actually, Ryouji wanted to hurt him. It wasn’t for or by pleasure, but it was his way to push back Tora’s love.

“Ry...Ryouji...i love..I love you...” whispered Tora, crying. 

His uncle came when he heard these words. He rested a bit in the same position before falling on Tora’s chest, exhausted. The blond was breathing heavily but stayed passive and quiet. Ryouji kept his body against Tora’s, breathing against his neck when he finally asked:

“How...how could you love me that much when i hurt you this way?”

Tora smiled and caressed the back of Ryouji’s head. “I’m having sex with the person i love...so it doesn’t matter if it hurts or not. I’m just happy to be in your arms, that’s all.”

The tall man sighted. “You’re hopeless...”

“I know...”

They didn’t say anything else during the night. Tora fell asleep few minutes later. Ryouji couldn’t sleep. He was still in the same position, his cock inside of Tora’s ass.

 _“Hopelessly cute..._ ” thought Ryouji. His efforts to push back Tora were useless. The kid always came back to him whatever he did.  

 

* * *

Days and weeks passed. The routine continued with the two men. They were having sex practically every night. Ryouji became gentler with the time and completely forgot women and prostitutes. He went back early every day to find Tora at home. Having dinner, talking with him, having sex, sometimes directly in the bathroom during the bath because Ryouji was too impatient to wait, were the kind of things they were doing every day. Ryouji stopped to think about his feelings. He just wanted to enjoy each moment with Tora. He liked his body, but it wasn’t just for that. He liked his company. The kid was a good cooker and he was always smiling. Sometimes, they argued for nothing but it wasn’t important. The blond always brought some joy in the house with his kindness. Besides, since the day he arrived, the apartment was clean and tidy.

Their embraces became more passionate. Ryouji knew something was changing in him. With women, he never cared about the pleasure he was giving. He only thought about him. At the beginning, he was doing the same thing with Tora. But it was different now. There wasn’t just lust when they did it, there was more. He cared to not hurt the little bond. He always took the time to prepare him and he was gentler in his moves. Besides, he enjoyed better to take his time with him, exploring his body, kissing and touching him everywhere. But sometimes, he just needed to be inside of him, so he called Tora with his cell phone and asked him to prepare himself before his return. The first time he asked him that, Tora was really embarrassed with it, but with the time, he accepted and didn’t complain. He had his own desires too and even if he loved Ryouji, he also wanted to have sex. But he was still waiting for Ryouji’s love. He never gave up but never asked Ryouji either. He would say it one day. It didn’t matter when because he knew one day he would return his feelings.

 

Four months already passed since Tora came in Ryouji’s life. The tall man was at his office and went on the roof to smoke a cigarette when his cell phone rang. He answered.

_“Ryouji? Kaoru’s speaking.”_

“Hi sis.”


	4. To enjoy the time we have left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Some violence and explicit sexual content in this chapter.

When Ryouji came back at the end of the day, he was a bit lost. He had a conversation with his sister, earlier in the afternoon. Things turned in a bad way. His peaceful and nice routine he built with Tora was about to break, he knew it. He didn’t know what to do. He tried to convince himself he didn’t care...but it was more complicated that he thought.

 _“Why should I care? It’s a good thing after all! I’m gonna start my life again at the same point before this fucking bloody kid came!”_ he was thinking, walking in the streets when he stopped in the middle of the road, fixing the ground with a desperate look. _“Who I’m trying to convince? I’m lying to myself...”_

He didn’t want to come back home immediately. He couldn’t. It was just too hard for him to face the little blond. He took the time to send him a message with his cell phone.

 _“I’m still at the office and I don’t know when I would finish. Don’t wait for me.”_ He sighted when he sent the message. He received a reply from Tora quickly.

_“Okay. Your food would be in the fridge. Don’t work too hard.”_

Ryouji got annoyed reading Tora’s reply. He was talking to him as if he was his boyfriend and he couldn’t stand it. _“Who does he think he’s talking about? He’s saying that as if he was my wife!!”_ thought Ryouji when he received another message.

_“I love you.”_

Reading his last reply, Ryouji squeezed his cell phone strongly in his hand and was about to throw it violently on the ground to break it when he stopped, arm in the air. Some people in the street were looking at him with an interrogated glance.

“For God’s sake...stop saying that all the time...” whispered Ryouji, exhausted. He was tired to fight against his own feelings, tired to push Tora’s back whenever he tried to be closer to him, tired to hear these words coming out from his mouth again and again.

“ _Just give up already and leave me alone...I don’t want your love. I never wanted it since the beginning. Why are you so persistent?”_ he wondered when he had enough to think. He walked again and entered in the first pub he saw on his road. He sat at the counter and ordered drinks, one after another. He needed to forget everything.

After several drinks, Ryouji began to feel a bit tired and drunk but he didn’t stop drinking. It wasn’t enough. The bartender finally tried to stop him.

“I think you have enough, sir...”

“Shut up and gimme another one...” replied severely the tall man, glaring at him.

“You’re drunk.”

“That’s exactly for this reason I came here, shithead! Now, gimme my drink!” shouted Ryouji, taping the counter with his empty glass.

“I ask you to leave, sir, or i’ll call the police.”

“No need for this, they’re already there!” he showed him his card. “Now, gimme my drink!!”

The bartender felt a bit scared by Ryouji’s hostility but obeyed. He moved away and went to talk with his boss.

“Boss? Sorry but there’s a customer who doesn’t want to leave. He’s pretty drunk.” He explained.

“Did you call the police?” asked the other man.

“Hum...actually, the man is a cop. He showed me his card. What should I do with him? He fears the other customers...”

“I see. Let me take care of this.” The boss went near of the counter but stayed in the backroom. He saw Ryouji, drinking with a depressed look his whisky. He recognized immediately the cop. He used to come often with his colleague for his work. He knew how Ryouji could be when he was angry so he didn’t try to talk with him. He just grabbed his cell phone and composed a number.

“Hirose-san? Shungo’s speaking...yes, long time no see...yes but listen:  Sorry to bother you but Kase-san is there and he’s drunk. I don’t think it would be safe to let him come back to his home with his car, and to be honest, he begins to bother some of my customers. Could you come to pick him please?”

_“Sempai is in your pub?”_

“Yes. He doesn’t seem to be well...”

_“I’ll be there in few minutes. Don’t try to talk with him or you’re gonna make him madder.”_

“I won’t. I’m waiting for you.” He said hanging up and went to talk with his employee. “If he requests other drinks, just give it to him. One of his friends is on the road to pick him; I know this cop and he has a rude temper. Don’t try to talk with him and just obey. Got it?”

“Yes, sir.”

The man knew Hirose and Ryouji since he gave them some information during an investigation in the neighbourhood about two months ago. They stayed in contact since this day. After one half-hour, Hirose arrived. Shungo was waiting for him outside.

“Hi Shungo-san. I came as fast as I could. So where is he?” asked Hirose.

“Thanks for coming Hirose-san. He’s at the counter.”

“You didn’t talk with him?”

“No. I didn’t dare to.”

“Okay...i’m gonna see him.”

Hirose entered in the pub and saw Ryouji. He walked slowly and reached his side. He sat at his left looking at him, concerned.

“I think you had enough, Sempai.”

“What...what are you doing here?” murmured Ryouji.

“Shungo-san called me; I came to bring you back home. You can’t drive in this state.”

“Don’t need you...” he looked around him and recognized the place. “I even didn’t know I was in his pub...”

“Let’s go Sempai.”

 “Get lost fucking idiot!! I’m not a kid!” yelled at him Ryouji.

Hirose tried to not respond but he had to drag him outside. It would be a shame if their colleagues saw him this way. He was thinking about a way to cool him when Ryouji faint on the counter.

“I suppose you drank a lot to be in this state, Sempai.” He took his arm and enrolled it around his shoulder to carry him to his car. He apologized to Shungo-san and left. On the road, Ryouji woke up.

“Where are you bringing me?”

“Oh Sempai! You’re awake?”

“I asked you something.”

“I’m bringing you to your home. It’s already late you know and...”

“Don’t. Stop the car.”

“What? But...”

“I SAID STOP THIS BLOODY CAR!!!” yelled Ryouji.

Hirose obeyed and parked the car on the side of the road. Ryouji went outside and made some steps; he reached the first bench he found and sat, breathing the air heavily closing his eyes. Hirose joined him.

“I’m not that drunk. You don’t have to babysit me!!” glared at him Ryouji.

“I’m worried about you. You don’t look good at all.” Hirose sat at his side. “What’s it, Sempai?”

“Nothing...”

Hirose fixed him, with a preoccupied look. He guessed it was related to Tora. It couldn’t be anything else. “Something happened with Tora-kun again, right?”

“No.”

“But it is related to him, am I wrong?”

Ryouji sighted, holding his head with his hands. “I have to end this...”

“You want to break up with him?”

“I’m not going out with him!!” shouted the tall man, furious.

“Sorry...but you know what I mean? Why do you want to end this?”

“He’s getting on my nerves with his “I love you” all the time!! I can’t stand it anymore...” Ryouji got up and made some steps before stopping, staying on his back. “But I don’t want to hurt him...”

“But it’s impossible, Sempai. I’d like to tell you different but you know it’s gonna break his heart.” Hirose felt the sadness and the remorse in Ryouji’s words. “Is there any other reason why you want to stop this?”

“Yes...Kaoru.”

“Kaoru?”

“My sister.”

 

* * *

 

Tora waited for all the night Ryouji came back. He was worried for him. He wanted to call him or to send him another message but he couldn’t really do that without exasperating his uncle. He went to his bedroom to sleep but he just couldn’t. He got up after two hours counting sheep and entered in Ryouji’s bedroom. He took a look in his dressing and grabbed a shirt to smell his scent. It was his way to comfort himself. He never told Ryouji but he was worried for him each time he came back late on the night. He knew if he was late, it meant that he went on mission or on operation. He was scared something could happen to him so he tried to not think about it, but it was hard. He heard some noise at the entrance and felt relieved to know Ryouji came back. He left the bedroom and went to welcome him when he saw Hirose, carrying and helping Ryouji.

“Hirose-san? What’s wrong? What happened to Ryouji?” he demanded.

“Hi Tora-kun. Don’t worry, it’s okay. Sempai is just a bit drunk but it’s nothing.” Reassured the other man. Tora approached and took Ryouji’s other arm to carry him and brought him with Hirose in his bedroom. They made him lie down on his back and left the room.

“Thank you Hirose-san. I’m sorry, I even didn’t welcome you properly...” apologized the blond.

“No need to apologize, it’s fine.”

“Hum...did something happen? I mean, why did he drink that much?” asked Tora.

Hirose seemed to be uncomfortable. He knew, of course, but he hadn’t the right to tell him. It wasn’t his role after all, but it couldn’t help to be sorry for the both of them. He smiled sadly.

“We just had a little party at the office. We finished a difficult investigation and we wanted to celebrate the end of this. Sempai just drank a bit too much...” lied Hirose. “You know how he is, right?”

“Yes. Thanks to take care of him, Hirose-san.”

Hirose blushed. Tora was really cute. He understood why Ryouji couldn’t have resisted having sex with him. He began to fantasize about the little blond, imagining him naked and moaning when he found his mind again.

“Okay, i’m gonna leave now. It’s already late. Goodnight Tora-kun.”

“Goodnight. Be careful on the road.”

When Hirose left, Tora returned in Ryouji’s bedroom. He couldn’t let him sleep with his shoes and his clothes so he approached and started to strip him when the man took his hand.

“What are you doing?”

“I...I just take your shoes and your clothes off. You can’t sleep all dressed...” replied nervously Tora.

“Blow me.”

“Wh..What?”

“I wanna do it right now. Blow me.”

Tora moved back. “You should rest. You’re not in condition to...” but he couldn’t finish his sentence that Ryouji threw him behind him on the bed. The blond was in his back and tried to get up when the other man went on the top of him and unzipped his pants. He took his hard cock and presented it to Tora’s mouth.

“Suck it.”

Tora blushed but didn’t run away. It wasn’t like he couldn’t but in this state, it wasn’t a good idea to refuse anything to him. He obeyed and opened his mouth. He licked the top of his penis with his wet tongue when he introduced it completely in his mouth, sucking it harder. It wasn’t enough for Ryouji even if he moaned and seemed to enjoy it. He grabbed Tora’s head with his hands and literally fucked his mouth, forcing him to swallow his hard cock, pushing it deeper in his throat. Tora coughed but couldn’t release himself. He tried to breathe but Ryouji was pushing it deeper and deeper in each move.

“Fuck...I’m coming...” moaned Ryouji when he released himself in Tora’s mouth. The teenager coughed again but couldn’t recover his mind that Ryouji pushed two of his fingers in his mouth. On the same time, the tall man completely undressed him with the other hand and spread his legs. He removed his fingers from his mouth and put it in Tora’s ass to prepare him. His gestures weren’t gentle at all. It hurt. Tora wondered why he took the time prepare him when he couldn’t do it properly without hurting him. It didn’t take a long time to bother Ryouji; he had enough and thrust Tora with his hard cock forcibly.

“Aaah!! Ry..Ryouji!! It hurts!!!”

“Shut up!”

“It..it’s painful!! Please...” begged again Tora, crying.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” yelled Ryouji exasperated and out of control. He spread Tora’s legs further apart and fucked him senseless, without caring about his pain.

“Ry..Ryouji! Please!!! I’m begging you...My..my inside is burning...Aaaaaahhhhh!!!”

The tall man moved faster and rougher even if his nephew pledged him to stop. He couldn’t hear him. He just focused on his own pleasure. But...even if he was hard like a rock, he didn’t feel anything good. Nothing. Tora cried more, begging for mercy.

“Pl..ease...it hurts...Aahh!! it hurts so..much...”

Ryouji grabbed his throat and strangled him, still penetrating with strength. He was fixing Tora and could see the fear in his eyes. It remembered him the last time when Hyodo tried to rape him. Tora had the same look of terror and shame.

“Now...Do you still love me? Huh? Fucking twerp!!” asked Ryouji fucking him harder. “Huh? Answer me!!”

The teenager got tightest down there with the lack of air. It hurt more because Ryouji was pushing his organ deeper inside of him with force because of the resistance. Despite his pain and his sadness, Tora managed to answer him. “...I..I do.”

Seeing his sincerity in his eyes, Ryouji completely lost his strength and came without having realized. He stopped abruptly and released Tora’s throat. “W..why?”

“Be..because I..love you..whatever you’re doing to..me.”

“You didn’t answer.”

Tora found the strength to move and enrolled his little arms around Ryouji’s shoulders to comfort him. “I..accepted you for who you are. I’ll take you as you are because I love everything about you.”

“Idiot...” Ryouji moved back to remove his cock from Tora’s hole. The blond flinched because of the pain. “Let’s take a bath.”

“I can’t...walk.”

“I’m gonna carry you. Come on.” Ryouji held Tora in his arms and brought him in the bathroom. He deposed him in the hot water when the bath was ready before joining him, sitting on his back. He massaged his little shoulders before kissing his neck. “Sorry...”

“It’s okay...I know you’re a bit drunk.” Replied Tora with kindness.

“It doesn’t excuse anything...”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” Tora rested again Ryouji’s chest.

The bath was relaxing. Ryouji was rubbing his back and his shoulders. The tall man was fixing him with regret. It was a good thing Tora was on his back because Ryouji couldn’t have supported he saw him in this state. He was ashamed.

 _“How could I’ve done this? I hurt him...he begged me to stop but I didn’t listen.”_ Thought Ryouji. _“He’s even not angry against me...”_

 “Ryouji?”

“What?”

“I called you but...you didn’t answer. Are you mad at me?”

 _“Idiot! You’re the one who is supposed to be mad!!”_ he thought.

“Ryouji?”

“I’m not.” He finished to wash his back and got up. He wrapped his body in a towel and came back to Tora with another one. “Let’s get out of the water. You’re cold.”

He grabbed Tora by the arms and helped him to stay on his feet. He put a towel around his waist and took another one to dry his hair. “It’s already late. We should go to bed.”

“Okay.” Nodded the blond.

Tora was walking toward his bedroom when Ryouji dragged him to his room. “You’re gonna sleep in my bed with me tonight.”

They went in his bedroom and lay on the bed. Tora was particularly stressed when Ryouji enrolled his arm around his hips and whispered to his ear:

“Don’t be so tense. I won’t touch you.”

The teenager sighted with relief and closed his eyes before falling asleep. He could feel Ryouji’s hot breath on his neck since he was pressing his body against his back.

The next morning, Tora woke up before his uncle and made the breakfast. His body still hurt but it was better than last night. He had been really afraid when Ryouji became violent. He knew how he was usually, but he never had been so rough and so brutal.

_“He was drunk. Besides, he recovered his mind and stopped when I asked him...and he even apologized after.”_

 Ryouji opened his eyes slowly with difficulties. He felt a huge pain in his brain because of his hangover. He got up and stayed on his feet without moving during several minutes to be sure to not fall down. He rubbed his eyes and tried to collect his memories.

“ _Okay...I remember I came to Shungo’s bar to drink...Hirose brought me back to home...and...”_ he couldn’t finish his sentence. Of course he remembered but he was too shocked and ashamed of himself.

 _“No...I couldn’t have done it...I mean, I’m rough sometimes with him but...not at this point...”_ He started to panic. He tried so hard to convince himself he didn’t do this to his nephew, but on the other time, he recalled perfectly his shouts, his crying face...his pleas.

“ _No...It can’t be true. I’m not like that...I couldn’t...”_ he continued to lie to himself, shaking his head, when he heard some noises coming from the kitchen. He walked toward the corridor, to join the teenager in the kitchen when he saw him, on his back, doing the dishes, already dressed in his uniform. He approached slowly and went behind him. He put his hand on Tora’s shoulder when the little blond jumped with fear and moved away abruptly, breaking a glass letting it falling on the floor.

“Oh! Ryouji! Morning...” he stayed away a bit uncomfortable. “Sorry...you scar...I mean, you surprised me.”

The man kept fixing him. He noticed Tora’s embarrassment. He moved closer and put down his shirt collar. He could see the strangulation marks on his neck. Tora blushed and avoided eye-contact with him. Now, Ryouji couldn’t deny it anymore: he abused him last night and hurt him.

“Are you scared of me?” demanded suddenly Ryouji.

“Huh?”

His uncle rubbed the marks with his fingers softly, as if he was trying to erase it. Tora understood he was feeling guilty but he wasn’t mad at him and he wanted to reassure him.

“No...I know...I know you were drunk last night. You didn’t know what you were doing...I’m not mad at you.”

“It’s not what I asked you.” He raised his eyes to face his nephew. “Are you scared of me?”

Tora took a large breath before answering. “No. I’m not.”

“Why?”

“Because...I can’t fear the man I love.” He replied with sincerity.

“ _Here we go again!”_ mentally rolled his eyes Ryouji when he turned his back to sit around the table. “You should.” He began to eat his breakfast. Tora already ate so he didn’t wait for him. “Go to school. You’re gonna be in late.”

“Alright. I’m gonna come back early today. I don’t have class this afternoon.”

“It’s my day off today. I’ll stay at home.”

“Okay. Don’t bother to do the dishes or the chores. I’ll do it when I’ll be back.”

“Fine.”

Tora took his bag and his keys before leaving. “Well, see you later.”

“Hum...”

For the both of them, it had been a bad day. Tora couldn’t stay focused on his lessons and Ryouji didn’t stop to smoke all the day. He even didn’t eat at the lunch. He wasn’t hungry. After had remembered the last night, he couldn’t even face his reflection on a mirror.

 _“Well done Ryouji! You did a good job!”_ thought the tall man, blaming himself. _“You wanted he leaves you alone. Is that what you wanted, right? Now, you’ve got it!”_

He finished his cigarette and crashed on his sofa, fixing the ceiling with dead eyes. “Then, why am I feeling so bad?” He closed his eyes, sighting. He knew the answer. _“Because you know it’s gonna end soon...”_

* * *

 

Tora left the school. Usually, Shibuya walked with him until they reached their way to go back home, but today his friend had to hurry to be at time for his doctor appointment. It was too bad because he really needed to talk with him today, even if he wondered if he could have told him what happened last night. The little blond was lost in his thoughts when he heard someone called his name.

“Tora!”

He turned around and saw Ryouji, waiting for him, sitting at the wreck of his car. “Oh! Ryouji! What are you doing here?”

“I came to pick you. Let’s go.”

“But you didn’t need to bother. The house isn’t far away from school...”

“We’re not gonna go home right now. Get in the car.” He entered and closed the door behind him. Tora went on the passenger’s side and bucked his belt.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere.”

The teenager didn’t insist. Ryouji wasn’t in the mood and seemed to be pissed. Actually, he wasn’t mad at Tora but at himself. He stayed quiet during the entire road. Tora either. Both of them were too uncomfortable to talk or even to look each other. After two hours, the blond fell asleep. Ryouji gave a glance to him and kept his concentration on the road again. He had enough to think and think again about the last night. It was useless anyway. He couldn’t go back in the past. They finally arrived four hours later.

“Oi! Wake up!”

Tora opened his eyes and looked around him. They were in a car park. There were a lot of people there. “Where are we?”

“See by yourself.”

The teenager went out of the car and closed the door behind him. He looked in front of him and saw a giant building. “Marimo Aquarium?”

“Yes. Have you ever come here?”

“No, never but I always wanted to visit it. It’s so big!!” said Tora with enthusiasm.

“Let’s go buy our tickets.”

They visited the place together. It was as if they were in a date but this time, Ryouji chose the place. It was their second rendezvous. Tora completely forgot the last events and was looking everywhere with joy and wonder. Ryouji was following him. He enjoyed seeing the blond so happy. At the end of the visit, they sat in front of the biggest tank of the place on the bench, keeping silent. Tora decided he had to talk with his uncle.

“Why did you bring me there?”

“Don’t you like this place?”

“Of course I like it! But...I was wondering if you forced yourself because of...what happened yesterday. I mean...I swear, I’m not mad. I just don’t want you feel compelled.”

“I’m not. I wanted to come here with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Ryouji fixed the fishes swiming in the pool and continued to explain.

“My father brought me there with sis before his death. Our mother was working this day so she couldn’t have accompanied us for the visit. I kept a good memory of this day because my dad usually worked late on the night so we didn’t see him often with your mother. And it was the last family outing we had before he died.”

Tora could feel the melancholy in Ryouji’s words, but strangely, not sadness.

“I never came back there until today. Long time ago...”

The blond moved closer and grabbed Ryouji’s hands discreetly. There was nobody in the place but they couldn’t be like this in public.

“Thanks for bringing me here.”

The tall man squeezed Tora’s hand and kept quiet, still looking in front of him. He liked this place but on the other side, each time he came there, something happened in his life: the death of his father, and now...Tora.

“We should go back to home. Let’s buy something to eat for the road.” Proposed the tall man.

They came back late on the night. During the road, they didn’t say a word but the atmosphere had been less tense. They were a bit tired because the place was a bit far away from their house but they had a good time together so they didn’t regret to have come.

Ryouji sat heavily on the sofa and took another cigarette in his pocket. Tora joined him after had put his bag on his bedroom. He stayed on his feet, behind Ryouji, thinking about what he had to do. He waited for a short time before approaching. His uncle just finished to smoke and was about to get up when Tora reached his side and sat on his left.

“I’m gonna take a shower. Wanna go first?” demanded Ryouji.

Tora didn’t answer him. He put his hand on Ryouji’s cheek and gave him a quick kiss, just brushing his lips softly with his. He blushed and began to feel hot but he didn’t want to stop.

“What are you doing?”

“Ki..Kissing you.”

“After what happened last night? Are you crazy or just fucking stupid??” replied Ryouji particularly exasperated.

“I told you: I’m not mad...or scared.”

His uncle pushed him away and got up running toward his bedroom. Tora followed him.

“Ryouji?! Wait!” he reached his room but his uncle slammed the door to his face and locked it.

“Ryouji? Why are you running away? Open the door.” Asked Tora knocking.

“Go to sleep, shithead!” yelled Ryouji.

“No! We need to talk!”

“I’ve nothing to tell you! Get lost!”

“Then, just listen to me. Open the door.”

Ryouji sat on the ground, taking his head with his hands. He had enough of this. Je wasn’t supposed to live this way. Tora continued to knock and call him but the other man stayed silent. He was hoping the blond would give up soon and would leave to his bedroom. After few minutes, Tora stopped. He sighted and put his head against the door.

“Ryouji...I don’t know what to do. I really want you like me...but I can’t help to feel guilty because I don’t wanna force your feelings. I know I’m not girl, that I’m still a kid for you...and that I’m your nephew. But despite of that, I still love you. Tell me...tell me what I should do. I don’t know if I have to give up on you or if I have to persevere... I want...I want to listen to my heart and to stay with you, but I’m not sure of what you want...”

Ryouji listened to him with sadness. Tora was opening his heart to him and he didn’t have the courage to face him.

“I just want your happiness. If having sex with me is what you want, I’m okay...and if you still want to have sex with women, I’m okay with it too...I’d like to be the one for you of course, but...I’ll do anything for you...but please, just tell me what you want...”

Tora needed to hear Ryouji’s voice but the other man kept silent.

“I don’t know what you think Ryouji. Sometimes, you’re nice; sometimes you hate me...what am I supposed to think? I can’t help it to hope that maybe you’re feeling something for me, I don’t mean love but at least some affection when you’re so gentle and kind with me. I can’t know if you don’t tell me...”

Still no answer.

“You know...I was really happy you brought me to the Aquarium today. I was afraid you hate me after the last night but...I was very happy today because you brought me in a special place for you. I don’t know if you did it because you were sorry for yesterday...but please, don’t...don’t run away from me. I’m not mad at you...I can’t hate you.”

“...Go to bed Tora...” said softly Ryouji through the door.

“You didn’t rape me. I could have stopped you yesterday but I didn’t. I can’t forgive you because...there’s nothing to forgive. You weren’t in your normal state...I don’t blame you so don’t be so hard with yourself...”

“Leave...please...just leave...”

Tora didn’t give up. “Ryouji, I love you...so, if you care about me, just a little...then, please, open the door.”

He waited, hoping Ryouji would listen to him when he heard the other man unlocked the door and opened it. They faced each other, silently before falling in each other arms, kissing deeply. They moved to the bed without never let them mouth go. Tora was lying on his back with Ryouji on the top of him. His uncle stopped but Tora caressed his cheek to reassure him.

“It’s okay, don’t stop.”

Ryouji stripped completely before taking Tora’s clothes off. He kissed him and let his tongue tracing the curves of his slender body, smelling his scent. His strong hands were touching him everywhere gently. He moved down and started to stimulate Tora’s half hard cock with his tongue before sucking it entirely. The blond bit his lips to contain his voice. He really felt good and he became quickly hard, moaning Ryouji’s name again and again. It was the first time the other man was doing it to him. He wasn’t rough. On the contrary, he took his time and wanted to please his partner, forgetting completely his own pleasure. After few minutes, Tora tried to stop him when he felt he was about to come.

“Ryouji...let go! I can’t...” pledged Tora when he couldn’t hold back anymore and came in Ryouji’s mouth.

His uncle let go of him and stayed on his knees, covering his mouth with his hand. Tora began to panic.

“I’m...I’m sorry! I couldn’t contain myself anymore!! I’m sorry...” said Tora, scared, with a trembling voice.

But Ryouji stayed calmed. He was fixing the teenager with an intense look. _“He’s completely scared of me...”_ He kept Tora’s semen in his mouth and swallowed it before moving closer to the blonde’s face. Tora closed his eyes and prepared himself to be kicked or something when his uncle kissed him tenderly. On the same time, he searched under the pillow the little tube of lube.

“Is it still okay?”

“Huh?” wondered Tora.

“To do it all in the way, I mean. I want you but...I don’t know if your body still hurts.”

Tora smiled, sighting with relief. He kissed him and captured his eyes with his. “Do it. I want it.”

“I’ll be gentle this time.”

Ryouji opened the lube and put some liquid on his fingers. Tora spread his legs and positioned his body for him. He wasn’t afraid anymore. The pain didn’t matter anyway. Ryouji was nice and gentle, so it meant he really cared about him.

“Tell me if it hurts.”

Tora nodded and relaxed. He closed his eyes, shivering when his felt the cold liquid pouring on his skin. Ryouji massaged his entrance softly with his fingers before introducing one finger in his ass. He really didn’t want to hurt him this time so he forced himself to contain his urges even if his hard cock and his stupid brain were shouting to screw Tora without waiting. But he couldn’t do it. Not this way. Never again this way.

“You’re alright?”

“Yes...it’s..good..don’t worry...” replied Tora moaning. “More...”

Ryouji added another finger, then a third and continued to stretch his hole. There was no sign of pain or fear in Tora’s expression which reassured the tall brunette. He put a fourth finger, still ramming his inside gently when Tora grabbed his hand to stop him.

“More...I want you...inside of me..please...” requested the teenager.

 _“Why does this kid need to be so sexy? For God’s sake, stop tempting me this way!”_ thought Ryouji but he kept his self-control and removed his fingers. He prepared his cock with the lube and put it in slowly. Tora didn’t seem to be uncomfortable but he was completely red.

“Aaah!!! Yes! So good...aaah...more...” whispered Tora, enjoying the sensation.

Ryouji grabbed the teenager by the waist and sat, helping him to impale himself on his cock. They stayed in this way during a short time without moving, fixing each other when Ryouji captured his mouth in a passionate kiss.

“Do it yourself. This way, I won’t hurt you.”

“I told you...I was fine. Don’t be...” but he didn’t have the time to finish what he was saying that Ryouji kissed him again to shut him up.

“I wanna see you doing it.” He lay on his back, still holding Tora by the hips.

Tora put his hands on Ryouji’s  stomach and started to move slowly up and down. At the beginning, the sensation was a bit uncomfortable for him because in this position, he could feel Ryouji’s organ deeper in his ass. But after few minutes, he moved faster his hips. His laboured breathing became moans of pleasure.

“Ryouji...aaahhh!! Please...take...”

“What?”

“Take...me in...your arms...please..hold me..” begged Tora still moving his body.

Ryouji nodded and lifted his chest to enrol his arms around Tora’s slender shoulders. He needed to be comforted. They continued to move on the same rhythm, fixing each other in the eyes, sometimes kissing when Tora took Ryouji’s hand and put it on his hurt. The tall man could feel how fast it was beating. His nephew smiled at him, as if he wanted to say: _“I belong to you. Every part of me is yours: my body, my heart...everything.”_

Ryouji tried to deal with all of the feelings he had in the head: pleasure, guilt, affection, hate, happiness, shame, companionship, despair, love...love? Did he love Tora? He didn’t know. And a part of him didn’t want to know because if he knew, he had to face his feelings to take a decision.

 _“I’m not in love with him...but why do I care so much about him? He’s just my nephew. Of course I care about him. He’s my sister’s son, he isn’t a stranger. He’s my family...”_ thought Ryouji still fucking with the little blond. _“But...what kind of uncle does this with his nephew? What kind of man treats a kid this way?”_

“Ryouji?” asked Tora. “Are...you feeling good?”

The other man shook his head and stopped to think to concentrate on what he was doing. What did he care about all of these things? He didn’t deny anything...because there was nothing to deny to begin with.

“Yes. I was just thinking...”

“About what?”

 _“You.”_ He thought but he couldn’t say it out loud. “Nothing important.” He pushed Tora on his back and reached his side immediately, going on the top of him. He put it in again and went faster. He knew he didn’t feel any pain anymore so he could do it a bit harder. Tora caught the pillow behind his head and squeezed it with his hands, shouting.

“Oh! Ryouji!! So good...I’m gonna come...i’m gonna...come!!”

“Me too.”

“Inside! Do it inside of me...Aaaah! Coming!!” moaned loudly Tora when he reached the orgasm. He felt Ryouji had released his heat inside of him practically on the same time as him.

“Fucking good...better than usual.” Said Ryouji who fell on Tora’s body, exhausted.

“Yes...” agreed Tora, caressing the back of Ryouji’s head. “Can I stay here tonight?”

“Sure...” he nodded, hugging his nephew his arms and kissing his neck.

“Thanks...”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, the two men woke up on the same time. Ryouji always had difficulties to wake up so he was annoyed because he was tired. On the opposite, Tora was in a good mood, smiling.

“Morning Ryouji.”

“Mornin...”

The blond got up and grabbed his clothes on the floor to dress. Ryouji did the same when he began to walk toward the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Alright. I’ll go after you. I’m gonna prepare the breakfast now.”

“Okay.” Ryouji went directly in the shower. He didn’t wait that the water was at the perfect temperature. He was too tense to think about this. He was out of time and he knew it. He couldn’t wait any longer...and he felt his heart aching.

 _“I have to do this...but It’s not what I want.”_ He said to himself. _“What do I want anyway? I even don’t know how to answer to this...”_

He finished his shower before returning in his room to dress. His moves were slow, as if he wanted to waste time. What for? He knew it...he didn’t want to face Tora right now, because he had to explain why. He had to convince him...but how could he convince his nephew when he was incapable to convince himself at the first place?

He finally joined Tora in the kitchen. The teenager was cooking, still on his back when he heard Ryouji was coming back. He noticed something was wrong when their eyes met.

“Ryouji? What is it?”

The tall man sighted, before answering. “Tora...let’s end this.”


	5. Broken heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! i have to admit that i didn't know what to do after the last chapter. That's why i took so many time to write it. i'm satisfied about what i wrote and i hope you would like it! Thanks for your comments, guys! It's really nice. See you ^_^

Tora let the glass he held in his hand falling on the floor, hearing Ryouji’s words. The glass didn’t break but rolled on the floor.  At the beginning, he thought he misunderstood but when he saw his eyes, he realized he was serious. So many questions immediately ran in his head:

_“Is it because of what happened the other day? Did he get tired of me? Is he in love with somebody else? Is it because I’m too young? Because I’m his nephew? Did I say something wrong?...”_

After several minutes, Tora managed to speak. “Wh..Why?”

“Because it doesn’t work.”

“It worked until now...tell me why.” He moved closer to him. “Is it because of the last night?”

“It’s not just because of that...”

“Then why? Tell me why?”

“Don’t you have any clue, idiot? I’m your uncle!! Do you know the meaning of the word “incest”?” replied Ryouji exasperated.

Tora continued to fix him. “You didn’t discover it this morning. You knew since the beginning and you didn’t seem to mind.”

Ryouji clutched his fists in ball, angry. He walked toward Tora and grabbed him by the collar. “It’s your damn fault! You seduced me!!”

“No. I kissed you, it’s true but I wanted to leave. YOU asked me to stay and YOU held me. You’re the one who started this relationship.”

“Relationship? We were just fucking!”

“We did it more than once. Don’t tell me it meant nothing!”

“SHUT UP!”

Tora pushed him away violently. “NO! I WON’T SHUT UP!”

Ryouji blinked when he saw Tora so furious against him. Usually, the teenager was obedient and kind. But now, he was really mad.

“You...You used me to satisfy yourself. I thought you felt something for me, at least, some affection or tenderness...but I was just another whore for you. Just a hole that you could use for free whenever you wanted. That’s all what I’m for you?”

“I never wanted your love. You talk as if you didn’t know how I was. You said you were okay even if I didn’t like you.”

“You’re the worst...”

“Stop acting like a schoolgirl, fucking twerp! Didn’t you say yesterday you just wanted my happiness? That you would do anything to please me? That you didn’t care if I continued to have sex with women? And now, I’m the worst?? You’re just a fucking liar. I’m no angel but you’re certainly not so innocent. You’re the one who seduced me, so don’t complain.”

“I meant what I said yesterday...”

“Bloody liar!”

“No. I never lied to you. I accepted everything in you. I gave myself to you unconditionally. I gave you everything: my virginity, my body, my soul, everything...but it was never enough. I waited...I waited you return my feelings. I knew you weren’t in love with me, but I thought maybe...maybe I meant at least something for you. You gave me hope...” cried Tora.

Ryouji felt sad seeing him this way. He wanted to hug him in his arms and comfort him but he couldn’t.

“You used my feelings to get what you wanted...you humiliated me. You treated me like shit...and I accepted it because I thought you cared about me, just a little...you’re despicable.”

“Fuck you! How dare you...” But Ryouji didn’t have the time to finish his sentence that Tora pushed him away again, slapping his shoulders.

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE! YOU TOOK ME EVERYTHING! MY BODY, MY DIGNITY! YOU RIPPED EVERY PART OF MY HONNOR! THAT’S NOT ENOUGH?”

Ryouji moved back, eyes wide open. Tora continued to cry, still shouting and reproaching. He finally calmed down after few minutes. He couldn’t contain his sadness anymore and cried harder.

“Even giving you everything, I didn’t deserve some respect...I’m pathetic. I fell in love with the most selfish and incredible bastard of the world and I let him running me down for so long...” Tora laughed bitterly. “I can’t stoop below, I’ve already hit rock bottom...”

The tall man looked down. It was hard for him to hear Tora thinking this way about him but he was right. He couldn’t deny he had been horribly selfish and nasty with him.

“Fine...let’s end this.” Tora wiped his tears and returned to his cook. “I’ll look for a place to rent tomorrow and until I find it, I’ll continue to do all the chores.”

“You don’t have to leave...”

“You said me the same thing the first time...” Tora sighted. “I shouldn’t have listened to you.”

“Tora...” whispered Ryouji. He approached and put his hand on his shoulder when the teenager moved away.

“Don’t touch me.”

Ryouji bit his lips with anger but nodded and left him alone. He returned in his bedroom to dress. He sat heavily on his bed, holding his head with his hands, cursing. “Shit!”

Tora finished preparing Ryouji’s breakfast, still crying. His tears were falling on the kitchen counter. “I love you...” he murmured. When he finished, he took his bag and left quickly.

 

* * *

 

Tora skipped school. He was too depressed today. He needed to be alone. He walked slowly in the streets and reached the first park on his way. He sat on the grass and fixed the sky sadly. His heart hurt so much...

 _“I knew he would break my heart...but I kept hope he could change...that I was different...”_ he said to himself. 

He feared this day would come, but he tried to believe. He kept hope despite Ryouji’s attitude and coldness. He couldn’t stop crying. It wasn’t the first time he had been dumped. He should be used to this. People always thought he was weak and too nice. He couldn’t change what he was. Was it a crime to be nice? What did he have to do to be accepted? Changing everything in him? His appearance? His personality? What should he do to be loved? What did he do so bad to be rejected all the time? He couldn’t answer. 

 _“What should i do now? I don’t wanna stay at his house...but i promised to do all the chores until I leave.”_ Sighted Tora. _“What about mom? She would be angry if I’m leaving Ryouji’s house. She would ask me why and it’s not like I could tell her...”_

He stayed there three hours, without noticing how fast the time was passing. At the lunch break, his cell phone rang. It was his friend Shibuya. He took the call.

_“Tora? Where are you? I didn’t see you this morning.”_

“Shibuya...” whispered Tora softly, still crying.

_“Tora? What’s wrong? Are you...crying?”_

The little blond was so sad that he didn’t have the strength to talk. He was whimpering, trying desperately to dry his tears, in vain. Shibuya understood immediately.

_“He...dumped you, right?”_

Tora nodded, keeping silent. He had no voice. Even if Shibuya couldn’t see him, he knew his friend better than anybody and how he could be now.

 _“Where are you?”_ Shibuya waited for an answer but the other teenager wasn’t in state to reply, so he decided to do differently. _“Ok, I’m gonna join you now. Meet me at the Aphor’s café in one hour. I’ll be waiting for you there.”_

“Shibuya, don’t...”

_“It’s ok. I think you need to talk. I’ll borrow lessons to my friend. I’ll be there soon.”_

“Thanks...”

_“See you.”_

Tora put his cell phone on his pocket again and began to walk toward the café. It wasn’t so far away so he could go with the bus. During the road, he was looking through the window, ignoring everyone in the bus. The landscape went in front of his eyes slowly. He felt so alone, so lonely...despite the fact he was surrounded by people.

_“I always have been alone...Mom was still working so late in the night and even when she was at home, she was always working. She never had time for me. Grandma is far away and Dad is gone...”_

Tora enrolled his arms around his waist, holding himself. He needed human contact but there was nobody to take him, to comfort him.

_“I’m not completely alone...I mean, Shibuya is there. He never left me and always has been there for me...”_

He felt the tears coming to his eyes again.

_“But...it’s not the same. Even if I hate him to treat me this way...I still love him...”_

He almost missed his stop but found his mind again before going out of the bus. He wiped his tears and entered in the café. There were a lot of people there since it was lunch time. He was walking slowly toward an empty table when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Ah...Ah...you’re already there...” said Shibuya, exhausted. He was breathing heavily.

“Shibuya? I thought you would arrive later...”

“No...ah...I ...I managed to catch the bus just in time so I could arrive sooner...” He put his hands on his hips. “Let...me recover a bit...”

“I’m sorry...you missed school for me...”

“No...it’s...It’s..ah...alright. Let’s sit first...”

They sat around the first table and waited for the waitress. They ordered their meals and drinks.

“So, tell me. What happened?” demanded Shibuya.

Tora took a large breath and began to explain. “I don’t know where to start...” He made a pause before continuing. “About two days ago, we should pass the night together but...he came back home lately...”

“You mean, you were already at his home?”

“Yes...he told me he would be in late but I didn’t mind so I waited for his return. He came back later but he was completely drunk. One of his friends brought him back and he said they had a party at work and he drank too much. When he left, I stayed with him. I just took off his shoes and he dragged me to bed...” Tora stopped talking, clenching his fists nervously.

“And?”

“And...” Tora blushed harder. The waitress came back with their drinks and deposed it on the table before leaving. Shibuya noticed his embarrassment.

“Did he do something bad to you, Tora?”

“Kind of...”

Shibuya approached and spoke softer. “Did...he rape you?”

“No! I mean...it wasn’t really like that but...”

“But he hurt you, right?”

“Yes...” admitted Tora. “He was really rough that night...I was so scared...”

“Oh God! Tora, what did he do to you?”

“Nothing, don’t worry...it wasn’t different from the other times...it’s just, he was angry and...I don’t know...”

“Did he beat you?”

“No...”

Shibuya lifted Tora’s chin with his fingers when he noticed the strangulation marks on his neck.

“I noticed it yesterday but I didn’t have the time to ask you. Is it him?”

“Shibuya...”

“Did he do that to you?” asked again his friend.

“Yes...”

“Tora...” sighted Shibuya. “How can you stand this? You don’t have to endure it! He has no right to abuse you this way!”

“He didn’t...”

“Stop defending him! He clearly strangled you! I’m sure you have other marks on your body!”

“No I don’t! I promise!”

“Did you tell it to your uncle?”

“Wh...What should I do that?”

“Because he’s a cop. You need to file a complaint...”

_“How could I? We’re talking about Ryouji, Shibuya...he’s the one who did that to me...”_

“Shibuya, don’t worry, it’s nothing, I swear he didn’t do anything else...and I could have left. He didn’t rape me...I stayed.”

“He abused you because he knows you love him. What a bloody bastard! That’s not only enough to have sex with someone younger than him, he also hurts you...You have to denounce him. I’ll come with you!”

“No, please! Don’t tell anybody!”

“But...”

“Please, I’m begging you. I won’t see him anymore anyway. It’s over between us...”

“Tora...”

“Please. Promise me you won’t say anything to anyone...”

Shibuya slapped his forehead, desperate. “Fine! I promise.”

“Thank you.”

The waitress came back again with their meals.

“So, what happened next?”

“Well, the next morning, he recovered his mind and he felt really sorry...so, he picked me up after school and brought me somewhere...”

“Wait a minute...he abused you and he brought you on a date the next day?”

“Yes...”

“He has got quite a set even showing his face after that!”

Tora smiled sadly and continued to speak. “We had a wonderful day. We visited the Marimo Aquarium and it was great. He was really nice...”

“Nice???”

“He really regretted his attitude, you know?”

“I hope he regretted it!”

“Then, we came back to his home and...I made the first step.”

“You mean...you invited him to have sex with you despite what he did to you???”

“Shibuya...”

“What’s wrong with you, Tora?? I know you’re in love but you’re not stupid! How could you be so kind with him??”

“I wasn’t mad at him. He wasn’t in his normal state since he was drunk...”

“It’s not an excuse!”

“I know. He told me the same thing...but he refused me.”

“Really?”

“Yes...he ran away in his room and locked the door to not let me enter. So...I talked to him. I told him I wasn’t mad. I opened my heart to him...and he finally opened the door...”

“And he fucked you?”

“We made love.” Corrected Tora.

“Tora, this man never loved you. Fucking and making love are two different things and you know it.”

“Yes...but this time was different. He was gentle and kind...I was so happy...”

“Tora...”

“But...this morning...when he woke up, he told me he wanted to “end this”.”

“What does it mean “end this”? So, he dumped you?”

“I think you’re right. He never loved me so that’s why he didn’t consider he was breaking up with me. I wasn’t his boyfriend...just his fuck-toy...”

“Don’t regret him. A man who treats you this way doesn’t deserve you.”

“Thanks Shibuya...”

“That’s why you skipped school this morning?”

“I couldn’t go to school...I felt so bad...I mean, I knew how he was since the beginning but I thought...maybe I was different for him, that I meant anything for him...but I was wrong...”

“Did you have a fight with him?”

“We can say so...I said everything I had on my heart and I left. I don’t wanna see him anymore...”

“It’s better this way. I should have told you sooner but I wasn’t at ease to know that he was older than you...I was a bit scared for you and now I regret to not have convinced you to dump him first knowing what he did to you...I’m sorry.”

“No, please. Don’t be sorry. You couldn’t know...”

“I should have said what I thought...but I didn’t want to break your happiness...”

“Thanks Shibuya. You’re really a good friend and you always have been there for me. You never stopped watching me since we know each other.”

“I hate to see people abusing your kindness. I want someone good for you because you deserve it. Now, I will watch you better and I will never let anybody hurt you again, promised!”

Tora found his smile again, laughing.

“It’s good to see you smile.” Said Shibuya, happy.

“I really care our friendship, Shibuya. It means a lot to me. Thank you so much...”

“You’re welcome. Let’s eat. Your meal is gonna be cold.”

 

* * *

 

Ryouji felt terrible. He wasn’t just angry, he was furious. Not against Tora but against himself. He used to find Tora’s crying face exciting but now, he hated it. He knew it would be hard to stop this and to say it, but he didn’t think it would be so difficult and...painful. Actually, he never had felt so bad in his whole life. Of course, he dumped several girlfriends in the past and he didn’t really mind. But it was different now. Even if he was the one who put an end to this relationship, he suffered as much as Tora.

 _“I had to do this. I had no other choice anyway. It’s better this way...”_ he thought, trying to convince himself. _“But then, why do I feel so bad?”_

He desperately tried to focus on his work but he couldn’t. He never stopped looking at the clock on the wall. Time seemed to pass so quickly. He didn’t want to go back home. It was already the lunch break.

“Sempai? I brought you something to eat.” Said Hirose, interrupting him in his thoughts.

“Let’s eat outside. I need some fresh air.”

They left the office and went on the roof. They had a good view on the city at this spot. They sat on the ground and began to open their packages. Hirose noticed his sempai didn’t feel really well this morning, but he also knew the reason. Tora, as always, since the kid entered in his life.

“I dumped Tora this morning.” Said Ryouji suddenly.

Hirose made a pause before answering. He needed to find the right words or Ryouji would yell at him, again. “I suppose it hadn’t been easy, right?”

“You suppose correctly.” Ryouji started to eat, fixing the city.

“What did he say?”

“The same shit that I expected: that I used him, that I was a bastard...bla bla...you know what I mean?”

“Yes...” Hirose drank some water and talked again. “And how do you feel?”

“Me?”

“Yes...I know you care about him and it probably hurts you too...”

“What do you think am I, shithead? Some kind of pussy who would cry for his boyfriend?? I don’t give a shit!!”

 _“Liar. It’s clearly written on your face.”_ Thought Hirose. “Sempai, you can’t say it doesn’t affect you. You told me you didn’t want to break his heart...”

“I know what I said.”

“It’s not a weakness to admit your feelings, you know?”

“What are you talking about, moron? I told you I’m not in love with him!!”

“I didn’t say that. But you definitely feel something for him or you wouldn’t be in this state.”

“And in what kind of state do you think am I?”

“In a bad one. I never saw you this way before…and I know you’re feeling guilty.”

“You don’t know anything, dumbass…”

“You can insult me as much as you want, it won’t help you to feel better, Sempai.”

Ryouji shut his mouth. He hated it but he knew Hirose was right. He got what he deserved and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself.

 _“When you play with fire, you know there’s still a risk to burn. Don’t play the innocent, you’re the only guilty person here.”_ Thought Ryouji.

“What are you gonna do with him, now?” asked Hirose.

“I don’t know. We can’t go back to our previous relationship and I don’t wanna face him anyway…”

“But he’s living in your house…”

“What a scoop! Thanks Detective Shitty!!”

“Don’t be so harsh with me! I’m trying to help you…”

“It’s just a question of time until he leaves...I just need to wait a little bit more.”

“Did you tell him about your sister?”

“No. He doesn’t need to know anyway.”

“I see…”

They finished their meals, in silence, before going back to work. During all the afternoon, Ryouji never stopped thinking about Tora and their conversation this morning. He was wondering how he would deal with him.

_“Fucking brat! Now, I even don’t want to come back in MY house!!”_

 

He was working on his computer when the screen bugged. He hit it and turned it on and off again but it didn’t work. He started to lose his temper and hit with his foot his central unit.

“Will you work, fucking damn shit???” yelled Ryouji with rage, drawing attention on him. Hirose approached and tried to cool him.

“Sempai, calm damn or you’re gonna break your computer…”

“NOT MY FAULT IF THIS SHIT DOESN’T WORK!!!” he shouted furious. He almost broke it when their boss came.

“Kase!!”

Ryouji stopped, readjusting his vest. “What?”

“You’re noisy! The whole building heard you screaming! Go back to your home and stop bothering everyone! You’re not effective today in this state anyway!!” ordered his boss before going back to his own office.

 Ryouji swore but didn’t protest. He really didn’t want to return to his home now, but he couldn’t stay here. He grabbed his cell phone on his desk and the rest of his stuff before leaving. Hirose looked at him sadly but didn’t say anything. He knew Ryouji didn’t want to talk right now. He just hoped he wouldn’t go to drink as the previous night.

The tall brunette went to his car and left his office. He drove fast without knowing where to go. He finally stopped in a parking in front of a supermarket. He looked at his watch, sighting.

_“I can’t run away eternally. We’re living together, it’s not like I could avoid him forever…and he would probably stay in his room like he used to do when he kissed me the first time…”_

He made up his mind and returned to his home, in the middle of the afternoon. Tora would be probably still at school so he could relax until his return. When he arrived, he felt surprised to see the door wasn’t locked.

“Don’t tell me he came back early?”

He entered and saw Tora’s shoes on the flour. He took off his and walked toward the living room. The teenager was cooking in the kitchen. He turned around when he heard Ryouji.

“Hi. Why are you already there? Did you finish early?” asked Ryouji.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I finished early. What about you?”

Tora turned his back and continued to cook. “I skipped school.”

Ryouji threw his vest on the sofa and approached. “You graduate this year. Stay focused on your studies or you won’t pass.”

“Doesn’t matter…”

“It does, moron! Wanna stay a looser for the rest of your life??” said Ryouji, grabbing his collar, when Tora pushed him away.

“You mean a looser like you? No thanks!”

“How dare you, bloody bastard??” Ryouji pinned the little blonde against the kitchen counter.

“Let go.” Replied calmly Tora. He wasn’t afraid of Ryouji’s anger anymore. He didn’t care about what he could do to him. He already broke him. It couldn’t be worse.

Ryouji released him, swearing, and went to the bathroom. In the past, he would have kill him for talking to him this way, but now, he knew Tora had a good reason. Besides, he was the one who started this time.

_“It’s impossible to act as if nothing happened…but I don’t think we would support each other for so long. It’s just a question of days, but if he starts to skip school this way, he will fail to his exams. I already broke his heart, I don’t wanna see him ruining his future too…”_

This night, they didn’t eat together. After had taken a bath, Ryouji found his meal on the table. Tora stayed in his room during the whole night and waited his uncle returned to his bedroom to have a bath.

* * *

 

They avoided each other the same way the next days, during two weeks. During this time, Tora tried to find a small place to rent. But since he was still underage, nobody accepted him even if he could pay. He couldn’t support to live here. He was tired to avoid Ryouji. He felt as a prisoner here, always locked in his room, waiting for an opportunity to be alone, waiting for his turn to use the bathroom or the other places in the house, tired to get up early to not meet his uncle in the morning, tired to arrive earlier at school, tired to eat alone, tired to be lonely…

 

One morning.

 _“I can’t stand this anymore. I have to leave this place. It’s expensive but I can stay at the hotel. I don’t need much to live anyway…”_ Tora took his decision. He would leave tonight, just after had made the dinner. It was early in the morning, so he took the time to prepare his stuff in his bag.

_“This way, I won’t waste any time this afternoon and I could leave after had finished my chores before he comes back.”_

When he finished, he took his bento and left before Ryouji woke up. He was used to avoid him now but he was still on his guards, without doing the slightest noise. He closed the door behind him and left the house.

 

Ryouji was already up since a long time when he heard Tora leaving. It was like this every morning. He faked to sleep until he heard Tora closing the door before getting up. He was exhausted. He didn’t sleep well since two weeks. The lack of sleep was hard to support and affected his job; and the lack of sex was driving him crazy. At the beginning, he thought to visit the pub he used to go to fuck some chicks but it was as if something was stopping him. In fact, he had no desire for women anymore. Of course he could get hard just seeing a pair of big boobs, but it wasn’t what he wanted now.

_“I want him…I can’t believe I’m saying that, but I want to fuck this damn brat! I would give everything to throw him on the bed and to fuck him senseless…”_

During these two weeks, he got hard often when he was thinking about Tora. But whatever he tried to do to relax, he couldn’t. He couldn’t come even if he masturbated. He felt no pleasure to do this alone. He wanted more.

_“Why do I have to feel this way? He wasn’t that great! It’s over now! I can fuck whoever I want! What’s wrong with me? Don’t tell me I’m gonna become impotent just because of this fucking twerp???”_

 When Ryouji woke up this morning, he had a strange impression. Tora took more time to leave this morning, as if he did something before going. He checked the apartment but saw nothing in particular. He wanted to enter in his room, but he changed his mind. Maybe he was a kid but he had the right to have some privacy. The tall man didn’t eat and just left for his office.

 

* * *

 

Tora hurried to come back home early. Since he planned to go tonight, he needed to finish his chores before Ryouji’s return. There was no way he would say him goodbye. He knew he would force him to stay and it wouldn’t work this time. He didn’t waste any time when he returned and made the laundry, cleaned the apartment and prepared the dinner and the food for several days. Even if he was mad at Ryouji, he still took care well of him, making good and delicious meals he liked. He kept some food for him in a bento and took his bag in his room.

 _“Okay…it’s time to go. Should I let him a word or something?_ ” thought Tora. _“He’s gonna wonder where I went if he doesn’t see me. I don’t need to say everything…”_

The teenager took a paper and a pen. He started to write something but threw it on the garbage before starting a new word again. He took his time to think and wrote some words before reading it again, satisfied.

**_“I found a place to stay. I let you enough food for the next two weeks in the fridge and in the freezer. The key you gave me is in the mailbox.  Thank you. Goodbye. Tora.”_ **

He deposed the paper on the table and grabbed his bag before leaving. He made a stop in front of the door and turned around a last time, sighting sadly. He finally closed the door behind him and put the key in the mailbox. He walked to the station and took the first bus. He made a reservation to the hotel which was the closest of his school. On the road, he was thinking about these last months.

 _“Don’t regret it, Tora. It was nice…even if it hurts now it’s over.”_ He said to himself.

 

* * *

 

Ryouji came back as usual, at the end of the day. He didn’t understand why the door was locked and the lights were turned off. He was wondering if Tora stayed with a friend tonight. He shrugged and entered in his apartment. The place was cold, abnormally cold…

He turned on the lights and deposed his keys on the table when he noticed a paper with some words written. There was also his plate and his food, already set on the table. He took the small letter and read it, frowning.

**_“I found a place to stay. I let you enough food for the next two weeks in the fridge and in the freezer. The key you gave me is in the mailbox. Thank you. Goodbye. Tora.”_ **

He ripped the letter and threw it on the floor with rage. “Fucking brat!!!” He grabbed his cell phone on his pocked and composed Tora’s number. The blonde didn’t reply and Ryouji went straight to his voice mail.

_“Hello, this is Tora. I can’t answer you right now, but let me a message and I’ll call you back. Thank you.”_

Ryouji hung up without letting a message. He knew Tora wouldn’t listen to it anyway. He was mad. It wasn’t enough to mess with his head, he also needed to cause him worries.

“Damn kid! He even didn’t let me his address!! How am I supposed to find him now???” He was walking and walking again, trying to concentrate. He took a chair and sat to calm down. “Okay, let’s think…” Ryouji massaged his temples slowly to relax. “He can’t rent a place since he is underage so he probably went to the hotel…but which one?”

He went to his computer and turned it on. He checked the list of the hotels in the city. There were so many places where he could have been gone that the tall man was completely lost.

“Let’s take in one step at a time: he couldn’t have gone too far away because he needs to reach his school every morning…so he probably chose the closest one…”

He removed a lot of hotels from the list but he still had several ones.

“I suppose he took the cheapest because if he planned to stay there a long time, he needs to keep enough money to pay the rent…”

He compared the price of each hotel and made a selection. He had about ten possibilities. He printed the list and took his keys before leaving. He didn’t want to waste his time calling the hotels one after another. With some luck, he would find him quickly and would make him change his mind…even if he didn’t know how. He arrived at the first hotel and went to the reception.

“Welcome Sir. Can I help you?”

“Detective Kase Ryouji.” He showed his card. “I’m looking for a young blond teenager. His name is Toranosuke Teshima. Did you see him?”

“Hum…sorry, Sir, but we don’t give information about our customers…”

“Listen Miss, I’m a cop but it isn’t related to my work. This kid is my nephew and he ran away. Did you see him or not?”

She hesitated but she finally agreed to help him when she saw Ryouji insisting. “Let me check it…” She searched on her computer. “No, Sir. There’s no reservation with his name…and I don’t remember to have seen a blond teenager tonight…”

“When did you take your service?”

“At 3:00 p.m.”

Ryouji put his card again in his pocket. Tora was still at school at this hour so he definitely didn’t come here. He wrote his number on a paper. “Okay. I let you my number. Contact me if you see him.”

“Sure. I hope you’ll find him.”

“Thanks.”

Ryouji returned in his car and removed this hotel on the list and went to his next destination.

 

* * *

 

On his room, Tora was having dinner. He was looking at the tv, eating on the same time, sitting on the bed with his legs crossed. The room was clean and bright. The rent wasn’t too expensive but paying that much for each night would ruin him quickly. He left because he couldn’t stay at Ryouji’s house, but he knew he had to find another place soon because the money his mother was giving to him each month wouldn’t be enough to pay his food, his laundry and the rent.

He finished his meal and made the dishes. When he had done, he dried his bento and went to the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water was pouring along his back. Usually, it helped him to relax but it didn’t work this time. It was already two weeks that everything was over with Ryouji, but the pain was still there, tearing his heart apart a little bit more every day. He fell on his knees, crying.

“Why…Why did you do this to me Ryouji?” cried Tora.

During these two weeks, he wondered what he did wrong, where he messed up…but he didn’t manage to answer. He couldn’t stop thinking it was his fault.

“I miss you so much…” he murmured still on his knees under the shower. “Why can’t you love me? Why did you give me hope?”

 He had cried in the past…but he hadn’t felt that sad since the day of his father’s funerals…and it was actually this day when he met Ryouji for the first time.

“You’re so cruel…”

 

Ryouji continued his investigation. He already visited six hotels and made each time the same thing: He went to the reception, explained to the secretary he was a cop and was looking for his nephew who ran away. He gave her his name and described his appearance. Always the same answer: no one at this name, no customer of this age looking at the description he gave. It was already late in the night. Ryouji was exhausted. He worked all the day and he didn’t have the time to rest when he found Tora’s letter. He was looking for him since three hours and he even didn’t eat. He took a cigarette and tried to call him another time. Voicemail. Again.

“Where the fuck are you, stupid kid??” he swore alone, entering in the seventh hotel.

“Welcome, Sir. May I help you?”

He showed to the secretary his card. “Police. Did you see a blond teenager? His name is Toranosuke Teshima. He’s my nephew and he ran away.”

The woman frowned. “A blond teenager you said?”

“Yes. Did you see him?”

“Hum…I saw a young boy earlier. Let me check the name on my list. What name did you give me?”

“Toranosuke Teshima.”

She read her list and mentioned a line with her finger. “Yes. There’s a reservation at this name.”

“Really?” sighted Ryouji, relieved. _“Thanks God! I found him.”_  He was ready to go. “Which room?”

“Hum…” the lady seemed to be hesitant.

“I showed you my card. I’m a cop. This kid is my nephew. I just wanna bring him back to home with me. Wanna call the police station to check my identity??”

“No…I trust you, Sir…it’s just…”

“This bloody kid lives with me usually but he’s having a teenage existential crisis…I don’t wanna cause troubles but I need to bring him back with me. He’s under my responsibility.”

“I understand.”

“I’ll pay for the night, don’t worry.” He gave her his credit card and paid. “So? Which room?”

“Room 455. Third floor.”

“Thank you.”

He left the reception without wasting time and took the elevator. He was impatient to see him, but also nervous on the same time. He was furious against him but relieved to know he was safe. He didn’t know what to say.

 _“What should I do? He wouldn’t listen to me but he can’t stay here alone…”_ Ryouji was thinking and almost missed to get out of the elevator when he reached his floor. _“We’ll see. There’s no way I’ll let him do whatever he wants! Damn brat!!”_

Ryouji arrived in front of the room 455. He closed his eyes, sighting and knocked. He could hear Tora’s voice.

“Yes?”

“Room service, Sir. I brought you other towels.” Replied Ryouji, covering his mouth with his hand to change his voice.

“Coming…”

The little blonde didn’t recognize Ryouji’s voice and unlocked the door when he saw a strong hand blocking the door and opened it.

“Ry…Ryouji???”

The tall man entered and slammed the door behind him. “What the fuck are you doing here???”

“How...how did you find me?”

“What do you think I’m, idiot? I’m a cop! It’s my job to know how people think! I went to the nearest hotels from your school.”

“Why? I told you I would leave…”

“You’re under my responsibility, like it or not. Take your stuff. We’re leaving.”

“No.”

Ryouji grabbed Tora by the collar and shook his body with strength. “It’s not a request or a suggestion, little shit! This is an order!”

“I won’t come back with you.” Replied Tora with a calm voice, still fixing his uncle in the eyes.

Ryouji was enraged. He would bring him back with him even without his consent. It was already hard enough. Why did he need to complicate everything?

“I won’t say it again, Tora. Take your bag and let’s go. I already paid the night at the reception.”

“I’ll repay you.”

“It’s not a question of money!!” He released Tora and rubbed his eyes. “Look, I’m really tired. I looked for you since three hours. I want to go back home and rest, so don’t make it worse than it is…”

“I can take care of myself. I don’t need you. If it’s just a question of responsibility, you don’t have to tell mom I left.”

“It’s not the problem and you know it.”

“I say it again: I won’t come back with you. Please, leave…”

Ryouji had enough. He moved toward the bed and took the bag. He checked the cupboard and the bathroom to take Tora’s things and put it on his bag again. He grabbed Tora’s arm and dragged the little blonde with him toward the exit.

“Let me go! I won’t follow you!”

“Shut the fuck up and move!!”

“NO!!” Tora pushed Ryouji away violently and pressed his back on the first wall to rest. “I said No.”

Ryouji let the bag falling on the floor and pinned the teenager against the wall. “I’ll force you to follow me even if I have to drag you by the hair!”

“What are you gonna do to me, Ryouji?”

Tora was challenging his uncle. He wasn't embarrassed anymore and looked at him straight in the eyes. Ryouji could feel his determination.

“Don’t force me to use the strength, Tora…”

“Make me. I won't change my mind.”

The tall man pressed his hand to his throat. He didn’t intend to hurt him. He just wanted to fear him, but it didn’t seem to work this time. Tora wasn’t afraid.

“What? You’re gonna beat me? Rape me?”

Ryouji kept quiet fixing him with a pissed expression. He was disoriented. He didn’t know what to do.

“Go ahead. I don’t mind anymore. It couldn’t be worse than you already did to me…” added Tora.

The man released his grip, sighting. It was the first time in his life he felt so helpless and lost. He confronted so many dangerous people in his life, like criminals and yakuzas, but he always knew how to deal with it. It was a different case now. He lifted his face and stared at his nephew. He could see how broken he was. Ryouji knew it was unfair to force him to live at his home, but he couldn’t let him go…and he didn’t want either.

“One month.”

“What?”

“Come back with me and stay just one month to my house.”

“Why?”

“I’ll tell you later…but please. Just come back with me. Just one month and I’ll give you back your freedom.”

Ryouji was exhausted. He didn’t have the strength to fight and he hoped Tora would understand. He had a long day and needed to rest.

“Please, Tora. Just bear with it a little longer…and I’ll let you go. Just one month. It’s all what I ask you.”

After a long pause, Tora moved away from Ryouji and took his bag. “One month?”

“Yes.”

“Okay…” agreed Tora.

Ryouji sighted, relieved and walked toward him. “Let’s go back.”

They left the hotel few minutes later. During the road, they didn’t talk. The atmosphere was tense between the two men. Tora was wondering why Ryouji asked him that and why he needed his presence just for one month. What would happen next? What did it change? He didn’t know. In fact, he didn’t want to know. He just wanted to leave far away from Ryouji…but a part of him wanted to stay by his side. It hurt, yes. But when he asked him that with his desperate look, Tora couldn’t refuse. He was too nice…and Ryouji knew his weakness.

 _“He looked for me during three hours despite he was tired. I’m sure he left his house immediately after had read my letter…I shouldn’t but…I can’t help but to feel happy.”_ Thought Tora. _“I shouldn’t hope this way…I know, but he wouldn’t have bothered to look for me if I meant nothing…or maybe it’s just because he’s feeling obligated toward mom?”_

When they came back, Tora noticed Ryouji didn’t eat the food he prepared for him. He didn’t have the time since he left so suddenly.

“Should I warm your plate?” asked the teenager.

Ryouji didn’t reply. He moved closer and pressed his chest against Tora’s back. He enrolled his arms around his little shoulders and hugged him tightly.

“What are you doing?”

But the man didn’t answer. He stayed quiet, still hugging the blonde in his arms. Tora released himself and walked away when Ryouji grabbed his arms and pinned him against the wall to kiss him deeply. Tora froze with surprise and needed time to understand what was going on. He tried to push him away when he realized what Ryouji was doing.      

“Ryouji! Stop it!!”

But the other man didn’t listen and continued to kiss him. He wasn’t rough. On the contrary. He was gentle. His grip wasn’t tight. Despite of that, Tora didn’t manage to escape. A part of him didn’t really try and he knew it. He wanted it as much as the other man did.

“Ryouji?! What’s…” said Tora between kisses. “What’s wrong with you??”

“Tora…” whispered Ryouji. His voice sounded tired but also desperate. It was as if he was begging him to not fight. He broke the kiss and met his eyes. Tora stopped struggling and kept his eyes on him. Ryouji’s look was different, like…broken. When he saw the expression on his face, Tora put his hands on Ryouji’s cheeks and smiled sadly.

 _“Why do we have to hurt each other this way, Ryouji?”_ He thought without saying it out loud. _“Please, just tell me…tell me you want me…tell me to stay with you…I’ll do anything…”_  

They kissed again slowly. They went back to each other arms. The time stopped. Nothing did really matter anymore…they just needed to be together. Ryouji grabbed Tora by the waist and the blonde instinctively enrolled his legs around his hips. The tall man carried his lover to his bedroom without letting his mouth go, still kissing him with tenderness. He deposed Tora’s small body on the bed and went on the top of him. He moved his face closer to his and kissed him again, holding his hands with his. There was nothing sexual in their embrace, even if their bodies were screaming to fuck. At this time, they just wanted to feel each other. They exchanged no words, settling for looking each other. They didn’t need to talk because their eyes were speaking for them. During these two long weeks when they avoided each other presence, they missed their daily routine: having breakfast, lunch and dinner together; their conversation; their presence; their scent; their touch…everything.

“We should stop…” murmured Ryouji.

Tora smiled and caressed his cheek. “Yes…we should…” He put his hand behind Ryouji’s head and stroked his hair, kissing him deeply. No one wanted to stop. Why did it matter anyway? They already did it so many times…what would it change if they had sex again?

Ryouji gave up and succumbed to the temptation. He missed Tora. It wasn’t just sexual. He missed every part of him: his body, his voice, his face…his tenderness, his shyness…there was no way he would let him go. Not tonight.

He raised on his knees and took off his vest and his shirt. Tora stayed on his back, immobile. He let Ryouji strip him slowly. There was no embarrassment between them. They were used to do it. Strangley, they weren’t in hurry. They took their time to strip, to enjoy each second of this. Ryouji removed Tora’s clothes and stared at his slender body. The teenager was already hard. The man unbuttoned his pants and stripped completely. He pressed his body against Tora and kissed him, exploring and tasting his mouth with his tongue. On the same time, his hands were moving to Tora’s chest, pinching his nipples and caressing his soft skin. He could feel Tora reacting to his touch. The two lovers were moaning, still kissing each other. The only thing which forced them to break the kiss was the need to breathe.

Ryouji deposed kisses on his neck and his chest before going down to his belly button. He spread his legs and started to lick the top of Tora’s hard cock. He didn’t want to tease him but to take his time. He didn’t know if he would do again after this. Maybe it was the last time, so he wanted to enjoy as much as he could. He licked his entire organ with his tongue and moved down to his entrance. He spread the little hole with his fingers and introduced his tongue inside, licking it. Tora arched his back, trying to contain his pleasure. He grabbed Ryouji’s hand and put his fingers on his mouth to lick it. The other man didn’t stop what he was doing, wetting his hole inside and outside with his tongue. He stopped after few minutes and removed his fingers from Tora’s mouth before pushing one of it, then two in his ass to stretch it. He went slowly and was careful to not hurt him. Tora was tight. It was expected since they didn’t have sex since two weeks. He inserted a third finger and rammed the little passage. To distract Tora from this discomfort, he began to suck his cock again on the same time. The blonde was more than okay and spread his legs wigher to give a better access to his uncle. Tora was holding his tights in the air, feeling every touch of his lover.

 _“Ryouji…I missed you so much…give me more…touch me…take me…”_ said Tora to himself. He didn’t want to say out loud. Their embrace was just perfect. He didn’t need to talk. It would ruin everything.

The teenager felt the orgasm was close but he managed to restrain. He wanted to wait for Ryouji. The man stopped when he judged it was enough and moved to the side table on his right to take the lube. Tora stopped him and pushed him on his back. He shook his head smiling and went on the top of his lover.

 _“No need lube…I can do it with my mouth…”_ seemed to say Tora, fixing his lover. He turned on the opposite side and lay on Ryouji’s body to suck him.

 _“Sixty nine? Fine for me…”_ thought Ryouji, smirking. He spread his legs and let Tora suck him. He took this opportunity to prepare him a bit more since his ass was above his head. He sucked his balls, one after another and fingered him. “ _Fuck…it’s so good…he’s gonna make me come at this rate just with his mouth…”_

 _“He’s feeling this…I’m so happy…”_ Tora continued to suck him harder when he couldn’t wait anymore. He wanted Ryouji inside of him right now. He stopped and lifted his body to turn around. Ryouji put him on his back again and went between his legs. He presented his wet hard cock in front of Tora’s entrance and thrust him slowly, little by little. Tora tried to relax as much as he could. He was still a bit tight even with the preparation. He didn’t care if it hurt. He wanted Ryouji. The pain wasn’t important.

 _“Fuck…he’s so tight! I need to calm down or I will hurt him again…”_ said Ryouji to himself when he felt Tora’s hand caressing his hair. He lifted his head and saw his kind expression. The blonde was reassuring him, just with his blissful smile.

_“Don’t hold yourself. I’m fine…it’s okay.”_

Ryouji felt relieved and entered him completely. They made a short pause to be accustomed and started to move on the same rhythm. Slower at the beginning, faster and harder after few seconds…they found the same feeling, the same sensation they missed so much. They never stopped fixing in each other in the eyes, kissing and smelling their scent. Their bodies were already covered by sweat. They were hot. They had some difficulties to breathe because they kissed, because they were excited, and because their embrace became ardent.  They forgot the tiredness, the anger, the pain…nothing was more important than their pleasure at this moment. Nothing.

Tora gripped Ryouji’s hair with his fingers, enrolling his legs tighter around his hips. On the other side, the tall brunette increased the rhythm. The both of them were close and released themselves some minutes later. They collapsed in each other arms, still keeping silent, trying to find their breath again.

 _“Fuck…it’s about time! I missed it so much…”_ thought Ryouji. _“But it’s not enough…I want more…”_

He gave a glance to Tora who seemed to think the same thing.

_“Again…don’t let me…hold me again…please, Ryouji…”_

They understood each other without talking and did it again and again, all the night, until they fell asleep. Whatever they could do, they couldn’t stop…and no one wanted it to stop.


	6. Tease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hurried to finish quickly. Dunno if it's good...feel free to tell me. See you guys!

The next morning, Tora got up early, before Ryouji. He made a time to realize where he was and he even shivered when he felt an arm enrolled around his waist. He recovered his memories quickly.

 _“That’s right…we did it yesterday. He was probably needy and didn’t want to look for a prostitute…”_ thought Tora sadly. _“I’m just another hole for him…don’t start hoping again, Tora…”_

He tried to get up quietly, removing gently Ryouji’s arm when he felt his grip became tighter against his hips. The tall man groaned in his sleep but didn’t wake up. Tora felt like a prisoner this way. He really needed to move to prepare the breakfast and to take a shower before going to school…even if it was still early. Actually, he just wanted to avoid an embarrassing confrontation with his uncle. But another part of him wanted to understand his reasons: why just a month? Why was it that important to him that they lived together when everything was over between them? At their first meeting, he yelled at his own sister on the phone, complaining about his presence. He didn’t care to know he was his nephew. If Tora had left the first day, he wouldn’t have looked for him, even if he was a cop.

 _“Why should I do? I can’t stay this way…”_ said Tora to himself. He was about to push Ryouji away harshly when he heard him whispering something in his sleep.

“T..Tora…mi..ss you..” then, Ryouji snored again, still hugging Tora against him.

The teenager just lifted his head lightly, enough to see his face. He pressed his little body to Ryouji’s strong torso, burying his face on his neck.

 _“If you miss me that much, why did you break up with me? What should I do to make you accept me?”_ Tora closed his eyes and forgot his duties. Time had stopped and he wished nothing would ever disturb this peaceful moment.

 

An hour later, Ryouji opened his eyes. He felt relieved to see Tora still there in his bed. He didn’t move immediately, admiring his cute sleeping face. He put down the sheet just enough to see his slender naked body. He realized quickly he became hard and it wasn’t just because of the morning…

 _“Well done, Ryouji! You were just supposed to bring him back to home, not to fuck him! Now, you’re gonna break his heart a second time! Good job, really!”_ said Ryouji to himself. He cursed himself to have given in to the temptation. Sex was his only weakness.

 _“Damn! What can I do? Not my fault if he’s so good at this!! I should calm down…easy, Ryouji, easy…”_ The brunette tried with despair to forget the previous night when he had sex with Tora and to forget he was actually still in his bed, naked…

 _“Ok, ok…let’s think about something else…hum…the boss wearing a tong! Yes!”_ he closed his eyes imagining the scene. His boss wasn’t the most attractive man of the world, in fact, the worst! Anyway, Ryouji didn’t have interest in men so it was a good way to calm his desires.

 _“Good, it works…”_ He felt his cock becoming soft slowly when Tora moved on his back, letting appear his chest and ruined every Ryouji’s attempt to control his hunger. _“Are you kidding me??? Fuck! How am I supposed to resist now??”_

Tora kept his eyes closed, even if he was perfectly awake. He just wanted to tease Ryouji and he wondered why he hadn’t already jumped on him to fuck him. _“Well, if I have to stay there for a month, I will beat you at your own game. Let’s see if you can resist to this…”_ Then, Tora faked struggling, murmuring Ryouji’s name in his sleep.

“R..Ryouji…more…I wanna Ryouji’s cock…” said seductively Tora out loud, faking to talk in his sleep. He spread his legs and touched himself.

 _“Oh God! He’s dreaming of me and he’s moaning my name in addition of that!! No, no, no…I won’t do it. There’s no way I would do it again or it would be harder to stop later…ok, the boss with the tong…don’t listen to his moans…”_ Ryouji shook his head, trying desperately to contain his erection but even with the disgusting picture of his boss he couldn’t stop to be excited.

“ _It’s taking too long! Just fuck me, I know you want it!”_ complained Tora talking to himself. _“Ok, it’s not over…”_ Tora continued to moan and spread his legs wider. The sheet which covered Tora’s naked body had been put down on his tights, letting appear his erection. Ryouji couldn’t help to see the exciting view, especially when Tora was spreading his legs this way. He even could see the come pouring out of his ass.

 _“I can’t! It’s too much!!”_ Ryouji gave up and went on the top of him, kissing his neck.

Tora faked to stay asleep, but grinned internally. _“Got you! Who’s the weak one now?”_ he struggled lightly but didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t want to ruin his victory, but he also desired the other man. But after he had broken his heart, he refused to make the first move. If Ryouji wanted to fuck, there was no way he would propose him again!

Ryouji was already touching Tora’s chest with his hands, pinching his nipples. His erection pressed against his. Actually, he wasn’t sure he wanted Tora woke up or maybe he would stop. But this way, Ryouji had the impression to rape him. _“Well, it’s not really a rape, since he’s moaning for me…but he’s still asleep so technically, I don’t have his consent…but on the other way, he’s dreaming that I’m fucking him so it means he wants it, right??”_ The brunette didn’t know what to do. He sighted and moved just above Tora’s head, whispering to his ear: “Tora, don’t wake up. It’s just a dream…so don’t open your eyes…please.”

Tora just snored, still faking to be asleep. He felt Ryouji’s mouth kissing his cheek and his neck. Then his tongue moved to his right nipple. He was already fingering his ass with two of his fingers, using the come inside to lubricate the small passage. He stretched it adding another finger. His moves were gentle and slow. Tora was moaning softly, enjoying the sensation.

“Ryouji…” murmured Tora. “Ryouji…”

The tall man stayed focused on Tora’s body, still preparing him with his fingers. He moved down to reach his tights and began to lick the head of his throbbing cock. He used his other hand to rub it on the same time he was sucking it and fingering his ass.

 _“Oh no! At this rhythm, he’s gonna make me come to fast…”_ thought Tora, trying to contain his orgasm when Ryouji stopped fortunately.

Ryouji raised on his knees and spat on his hand before rubbing his cock with the saliva. He kneeled between Tora’s legs and put his hands on his tights to keep this position. He pressed the top of his cock on the wet entrance and entered him slowly. Tora tried to loosen up but he couldn’t help to feel a light pain, even with the preparation. It was harder to fake being asleep when he was embraced this way. Ryouji pushed his cock entirely inside making Tora gasping with surprise. The little blonde opened his eyes suddenly, pressing his hands on Ryouji’s torso.

“Aaah!!!” gasped Tora. His eyes met Ryouji.

“Sorry…just relax, it’s okay…” reassured the brunette.

Tora nodded and lay on his back again. He was breathing heavily but didn’t seem wanting to stop, so Ryouji felt relieved. He started to move slowly in and out, rubbing his inside with his dripping organ. It was more than sexual this time…like a need. Not only an urge of sex, but an urge of…Tora. At this moment, he wanted no one else than him.

“Are you alright?” asked the man, a bit worried.

“More…fuck me harder…” murmured Tora, keeping his eyes on him. Usually, he avoided his glance but not this time. He wasn’t that submissive anymore, on the contrary, even if he was still the bottom.

 “Fine…” agreed Ryouji with pleasure. He went faster, thrusting him harder. Tora was moving his hips on the same rhythm. The tall man went back to his neck and licked his salty flesh to his ear, still fucking him senseless. Usually, Tora liked to grip his hair during their embrace but this time, he just grabbed the sheets, arching his back because of the pleasure he was receiving. He felt Ryouji hands tighter on his hips so he understood he was close.

“Ryouji…come. Make me come…hurry…” moaned Tora. He was thrusting his hips to Ryouji’s waist to increase the rhythm when they came together, on the same time. Tora felt so much pleasure that he released the sheets he was holding to grip Ryouji’s back with his hands, scratching his flesh. They collapsed, bodies pressed against each other and took the time to recover their mind, in silence.

 

They got up twenty minutes later, still avoiding each other. They didn’t need to talk, even if they had so many things to ask, especially Tora. The situation was uncomfortable for the both of them. After his shower, Tora prepared the breakfast and waited for Ryouji. They ate in silence and made the dishes together. They took their stuff to leave when Ryouji moved closer to Tora, holding something to him.

“Your key.”

“Thanks.” Tora took it and turned on his back to grab his bag on the floor.

“See you tonight.” Ryouji left without waiting for his answer. Tora stayed on his back without replying. He had nothing to say anyway; He wasn’t happy to be there. He had no future with Ryouji. His uncle made the things enough clear when they broke up. But despite of this, he was still coming back to him. Even if it was just for sex, it wasn’t easy to accept for Tora.

 

* * *

 

Later on the afternoon, Tora was having a break with Shibuya. They almost finished their duties since it was their turn to clean the garden. Tora was emptying the trash talking with his friend when Shibuya stopped speaking suddenly. He was fixing Tora’s neck with insistence.

“Shibuya? What is it?” demanded Tora.

“Your neck…”

“What’s wrong with my neck?”

“The hickey…oh no, Tora! Don’t tell me you came back to him??”

“No! No, it’s not what you think! I…”

“Don’t joke with me, Tora! I can see it’s a fresh mark. Did you already forget what he did to you?”

“No, I didn’t…”

“So, what are you doing with him? He’s gonna hurt you again…”

“No, not this time.”

“He’s using you! You’re just a fuck toy for him!”

“Maybe I’m the one who is using him?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’ve no intention to come back with him. I just wanna make him pay for what he did to me.”

Shibuya shook his head sadly. “Tora…don’t do that.”

“I’m not a kid. I know what I’m doing, Shibuya.”

“No you don’t. it’s gonna end badly…”

“I’m fine…”

“NO YOU’RE NOT!” shouted Shibuya. Tora moved back, surprised. “He will hurt you again…and you’re not like this. This is not you, Tora.”

“Shibuya…”

“You’re too kind to be like that. It’s not like you.”

“I’m fed up to be kind!! It brought me only pain and troubles. I’m not that weak!”

“I never said that!”

“But you think it, as everyone!! I don’t need to be watched by you this way all the time! I’m a big boy and I can defend myself!!”

Shibuya looked down, ashamed. He knew he hurt Tora with these words. He always had been overprotective with him but he couldn’t help it. “I’m just worried for you…”

“I know. I’m sorry, Shibuya. I shouldn’t have been so rude with you…”

“I’m not mad. I don’t think like that about you…”

“I’m sorry…”

“I…I really care about you. You’re my best friend. I can’t support to see people abusing your kindness this way.”

“I know…”

Shibuya moved closer and put his hand on Tora’s shoulder. “He doesn’t deserve you, Tora. Please…stay away from him. Revenge would only bring you more pain and disappointment. You’re better than this…”

Tora began to cry. “But…I can’t stand it anymore. Whatever I try to do to be stronger is never enough. People don’t respect me…”

“You don’t have to change to make people accepting you. You’re good enough the way you are.”

“It’s never enough…never.”

“Then, it means that people who don’t accept you don’t deserve you.” Shibuya stroked Tora’s hair gently.”Tora, don’t let anybody running you down. You can be strong staying like you’re. You don’t need to become someone else…”

“I don’t know if I can…”

“Yes you can. Anyway, I’ll be there to protect you until you become stronger…even if you don’t want my help.”

“It wasn’t what I meant, I’m sorry. It’s just…I don’t wanna be a burden for you. How long are you gonna watch me this way? I have to grow up and…”

“You’re not a burden, Tora. You’re my friend. We always have been there for each other since we met. So, until you become stronger, I’ll be there.” He never admitted to Tora but he felt guilty to not have been there when he almost got raped. He knew Kuroko wasn’t trustworthy and he should have accompanied them to protect Tora. He felt also culpable to not have advised Tora better about his abusing boyfriend. Now, he had no intention to let anybody hurt him again.

Tora wiped his tears, laughing. “Do you realize it can take a long time?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Smiled Shibuya. “But promise me you won’t do something stupid.”

“It’s okay…”

“No. Promise me.” Shibuya held Tora’s arm firmly. He refused to let him go until he gave him his word.

“I promise.”

“Thank you.” Sighted his friend relieved.

 Tora put his head on Shibuya’s shoulder. “No…thanks to you. Thanks to be there for me.”

“Hey! It’s my duty as your best friend!” They laughed together and returned to their chores.

 

When they finished, they left school. They were talking about new video games when someone called Tora.

“Tora-kun!”

They turned around. The little blonde recognized Hirose. “Oh! Hello, Hirose-san! Long time no see…”

“Well, I wasn’t sure it was you when I saw you two walking. Good to see you. How are you?”

“Fine, thank you. What are you doing here?”

“Oh…I just finished a meeting with a contact.” He turned his attention on Shibuya. “My apologies! I didn’t even welcome you properly. Are you Tora’s friend?”

“Yes, my name is Shibuya. Nice to meet you…”

“Hirose. Pleased to meet you, Shibuya-kun.”

But Tora’s friend became suddenly very distant, observing Hirose. How did he know Tora?

“Don’t you work with Ryouji today?” asked Tora.

“No. Sempai stayed at the office. He was in a bad mood today. Did you have a fight with him?”

Tora blushed, keeping his head down. Shibuya noticed his embarrassment and began to suspect something between his friend and this stranger.

“No…we didn’t really talk lately. I wasn’t often at home anyway…”

“I see. Sorry to bother you with this…” The two men blushed harder. “Well, I have to go now. It was nice to see you. It was a pleasure to meet you, Shibuya-kun.”

“Hum…” replied Shibuya on his guards. Hirose was wondering why he was fixing him this way but shrugged and left.

“Bye guys!”

“Good bye, Hirose-san.” Then, Tora and Shibuya continued their road.

This meeting had particularly disturbed the other teenager. This man was older and he probably worked with Tora’s uncle since they mentioned him. He also observed their reactions and guessed there was something intimate between them. He wanted to ask to Tora but kept his mouth shut.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Shibuya was on his way to reach the school. He didn’t stop thinking about the man he met with Tora yesterday. There was something which bothered him and he couldn’t describe it. He was determinate to learn more about him. He was so self-centered in his thoughts that he didn’t pay attention on the road and missed to be hit by car, dragged away from the road by a strong grip.

“Watch out, boy! It’s dangerous!!”

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t see…” Shibuya began to apologize when he saw the face of his savior.

“Oh! Shibuya-kun? What a coincidence!”

“Hirose-san…” the teenager became suddenly tense. “Thanks for your help. I was distracted…”

“I saw that! Well, I can understand…I’m not a morning person either so…”

“it wasn’t because I’m tired or something. I’m just preoccupied…and it’s a good thing I met you now because I wanted to have a word with you.”

“With me??”

“Yes.”

“But about what??”

“Tora.”

Hirose felt a bit disoriented by the sudden request. Shibuya never stopped fixing him straight in the eyes. He finally turned around and pointed the park just in front of them. “Can we go there to talk please?”

“Sure…” agreed Hirose. He followed the boy and crossed the street. When they arrived in the park, there were already old people walking or talking on benches; joggers running and children playing on the area’s kids. They reached a bench and sat.

“So? Is there something wrong with Tora-kun?”

“Well…I thought you should know…” replied Shibuya.

Hirose frowned but when he saw the way the young boy was staring at him, he guessed Tora probably talked about his problems with Ryouji to him.

“Oh…so you know about his…” began to say uncertain the other man.

“Boyfriend? Yes, I know.”

“I see…I suppose it’s not easy for him but it was the better thing to do anyway.”

“What? You mean breaking his heart?”

“This relationship shouldn't have begun at the first place…”

“I agree with you to this point. Going out with an older man wasn’t a good thing.”

“I don’t think it was really a question of age…”

“Maybe for you: did you forget Tora is underage? This is a corruption of a minor? Aren’t you a cop?”

“Hey! No need to be so nasty okay? I know my job and I remark you that his age is technically not a problem since he reached the age of sexual consent…”

“Consent? Let’s talk about it! I saw the marks on his neck! Do you call this consent?”

“I…don’t understand what you’re talking about. What do you mean?”

“I talk about the strangulation marks. This is an abuse! For God’s sake you’re a cop and his uncle’s co-worker in addition of that!!”

“Wait a minute…strangulation marks you said? But…” He was cut in the middle of his sentence when his bip rang. “This is an emergency. I have to go. We’ll continue this conversation later.” Hirose got up and left immediately without letting the time to Shibuya to hold him.

“Wait!” But the man was already far away. Shibuya kicked a little stone, pissed. “Damn you! Don’t imagine you’re gonna escape from me this way!” he sighted and put his bag on his shoulder before going to school.

 

* * *

 

Hirose joined Ryouji and his other colleagues on the city center. There was a robbery in a bank and many reinforcements had been called since there were several hostages inside.

“Sempai! I’m here!”

“Took you long enough! Where the fuck were you?”

“Never mind. What are we doing now?”

“The negotiator is still inside to talk with the robbers. We’re waiting for his return.”

“How many hostages?”

“Twenty nine with four kids and one pregnant woman.”

“Damn…I hope everything would be alright.”

They waited for the end of the negotiation with the thieves when the negotiator came back.

“So?”

“No…I couldn’t convince them. They’re pretty serious and have no intention to free hostages, even the pregnant woman.” Replied sadly the man.

Ryouji turned around to face his boss. “What now, boss?”

“We don’t have any other choice. Be ready for the assault. I just hope nobody would be hurt.”

“Understood. Hirose, come with me.” Said Ryouji.

“I’m coming.”

 

The cops checked their rifles and dressed with bulletproof vests with casks. Ryouji was the team leader, on the front line. They approached slowly to the entrance. One of the men put a little explosive charge on the door of the bank. Everybody moved back, waiting for the explosion. When the door cracked, Ryouji gave the signal for the assault.

“GO! GO!!”

Hostages were lying on the ground, covering their head with their hands. The five thieves were wearing masks and blacks suits. They got surprised by the explosion but had the time to prepare their defense.  Two of them fell on the ground, hurt by the bullets shot by cops but there were still three left. Shootings resounded on the whole building, with the shouts of fear and despair of the hostages sandwiched between cops and thieves.

“Shoot these fucking bastards!!” yelled one of the thieves.

Some of the hostages got on their feet and began to run toward the exit. Ryouji called Hirose.

“Hirose! Protect the hostages with some guys! I take care of the others!”

“Yes, Sempai!”

The three thieves started to move back, still shooting. One of them grabbed a hostage with him to use him like a body shield. The two other men got hit by bullets and fell on the ground unconscious, maybe already dead. There was just one now, with the hostage. Ryouji pointed his gun to him and approached with his colleagues.

“STAY BACK OR HE’S DEAD!!” shouted the man, holding his hostage strongly and pointing his gun on his head.

“Guys, leave us. I take care of this.” Said Ryouji.

“But…” protested one of his fellows.

“LEAVE!” replied Ryouji angrily.

They nodded and stepped back slowly, still aiming at the robber. They finally disappeared letting Ryouji alone with him and the hostage. It was a poor teenager with blond tied hair, terrorized and shaking.

“Release him and I promise I won’t shoot you.”

“You really think I’m gonna surrender???”

“Your friends aren’t in condition to help you now. Most of them are probably dead. You’re alone. Are you sure you wanna end like them?”

“FUCK YOU!”

“Free the boy!”

“NO WAY!”

“This is your last chance. Wanna get out of here alive? Then, surrender and you’ll be safe. There’re about one hundred cops who are waiting for you outside. There’s no way you will leave this place in one piece. Now, give it up and let the boy go!”

The thief laughed. “Then…I WON’T DIE ALONE!” He was about to shoot the teenager when Ryouji aimed his head and killed him with a single bullet, on the forehead. The boy yelled with fear and Ryouji ran toward him.

“You’re safe now. It’s okay…” He enrolled his arm around his waist to help him walking. The poor boy was so scared that he couldn’t walk normally by himself. The reinforcements arrived and met Ryouji on his way.

“Kase-san! Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Bring the kid outside. He’s not hurt, just shocked.”

“Understood.”

The boy followed the other cops when he turned around and stopped walking to face Ryouji a last time. “T..t.hank you..s..sir…” he said with a trembling voice.

Ryouji approached and stroked his hair gently. “It’s all right, boy. Go with them.”

He nodded and followed the cops obediently. Hirose and the boss joined him.

“Good job Kase. Is there anybody hurt?” demanded the boss.

“No, sir. The hostage is safe, but I think we killed all the thieves.”

“Three of them are still alive. What about the leader who took the hostage?”

“I shot him in the head. He was about to kill the boy.”

“You did the right thing. Thanks God, no one had been hurt.” Sighted with relief the man. “Go and wait outside. The bomb squad has to check the building to be sure they didn’t put explosives or something in the place.”

“Fine.”

They left the bank and joined the rest of the intervention group outside. There were already a lot of people and reporters with cameras and micros. Ryouji went to sit inside of the truck to have some rest. Hirose followed him. He took a coffee and held it to his sempai.

“Thanks…”

“You’re welcome. You’ve been incredible, Sempai.”

“I just did my job, nothing else.”

Hirose smiled. Everyone was relieved to know that nobody has been hurt during the assault. But Ryouji was very calm strangely. He kept his self-control during the operation and knew exactly what to do when everyone was really stressed. He was a good cop and a great leader. That was why people respected him. Hirose was still troubled about the conversation he had with Tora’s friend. He was about to talk with him about this when a man arrived.

“Sorry to disturb you, but…I’m the father of the boy you saved…” said shyly the man. “I just wanted to thank you personally to have saved my son…”

“You don’t have to, sir. It was my job.” Replied Ryouji.

“No…really, thank you. Thank you so much…” bowed the man. “I’m really thankful. I was so afraid…I’ve tried to stop him to take my son but…”

“It’s not your fault, sir. Now, everything is over. You should go back with your son. I think he needs your support right now.”

“Yes…thanks again, sir. Thank you…” then the man left them alone and returned in the ambulance with his kid.

“Now you’re a hero, Sempai. I think the boss is gonna call you for the press conference…”

“No way! I won’t speak to the press. I’ve nothing to say anyway…” Ryouji got up and made some steps. “I’m coming back in few minutes. Just need to take some fresh air. Call me if you need me.”

“Okay…” agreed Hirose. He understood his sempai needed to relax for a bit and it wasn’t the right time to question him about his relationship with Tora.

 

The tall brunette took off his vest and wiped the sweat on his forehead. It wasn’t his first hostage taking and fortunately, everything ended pretty well today. But his hands couldn’t stop shaking. Actually, despite of the appearances, he had been very afraid when the thief took the teenager as a shield, because…the boy looked like Tora. At this moment, he thought about him and he imagined Tora at the hostage’s place. He was wondering what he would have felt if Tora had been hurt and what it would have done to him if he had lost him…this thought troubled him at the point to put him in this terrible state. Kase Ryouji never had feared anything in his whole life, but even if the little blonde hadn’t been there during the operation, for the first time, he really feared to lose a precious person…again.

 

 

The rest of the day passed quickly. After had returned to the police station, Ryouji and Hirose made their report and went back home early. Ryouji had refused to talk to the press, even with the insistence of his boss. Hirose decided to not bother him with his questions about Tora and thought it would be better to wait tomorrow. Ryouji went to his car to come back to home. He hoped Tora was already there, because he really needed to see him. Not for the sex (even if he wouldn’t say no!) but just to feel his presence and to be reassured. He didn’t waste any time and ran to his apartment. The lights were on and he saw his shoes at the entrance.

 _“He’s here…thanks God!”_ sighted Ryouji with relief. He went to the kitchen. The little blonde was on his back, cooking. He stayed on the same position.

“Welcome back.” said softly Tora without turning around. He had no desire to see his face. “Dinner will be ready in few minutes.”

But it didn’t matter for Ryouji. Nothing was more important for him to know Tora was there, with him, safe. The tall man approached slowly and covered Tora’s shoulders with his strong arms. The teenager didn’t move but stopped cutting his vegetables.

“What are you doing?” asked Tora.

But Ryouji didn’t reply. He buried his face on his neck, breathing heavily and pressing his body against Tora’s. The blonde thought at the beginning he just wanted to have sex again, but he understood some seconds later it wasn’t the case. There was nothing sexual in this embrace but only a need to be comforted. Tora stayed like that without moving and keeping quiet. He didn’t really know if he wanted Ryouji let him go, so he just waited. They stayed together in this position during a long time: seconds, minutes, hours? Nobody knew and nobody cared.

 

* * *

 

Three days later.

Ryouji and Tora didn’t do anything during three days. They avoided each other and just shared some moments during their meals. The atmosphere was really uncomfortable: they weren’t at ease staying together but being far away from each other was also difficult. The both of them didn’t really know what they wanted. In fact, yes they did. They wanted to come back in their previous relationship, making love, dating and talking together. But it was impossible, not after what Ryouji did to Tora and after had broken his heart. The man knew Tora didn’t forgive him and he understood. He couldn’t even forgive himself. It drove him crazy because no of his relationships had been so difficult in the past. He thought men were less complicated than women but he was wrong. On the other side, Tora didn’t know what he really wanted. He was mad at Ryouji to have abused of his kindness, even if he was the one who invited him at the first place. If he didn’t seduce him confessing his love, they wouldn’t have done it. He should have stopped immediately instead of thinking Ryouji could fall in love with him. It was stupid…and selfish. He had tried to force his feelings but he never wondered if it was right to do this, knowing the related bond he shared with him and knowing he was a cop. If things would be exposed, he would lose his job and would have troubles. The two men were feeling guilty to have started this relationship when everything told them it was wrong…but no one of them wanted to stop or regretted it.

 

 

Shibuya was walking in the streets to reach his school. He was in the same class than Tora but didn’t have the same lessons sometimes, since they followed different options. So today, his lessons started later on the morning. He was walking peacefully when he saw Hirose going out from a pub. He thanked a man, shaking hands with him before going back to his car. Shibuya ran toward him.

Hirose went in his car and buckled his belt when someone entered and sat on the passage’s side.

“Oh! Shibuya-kun! Such a surprise to see you!”

“We need to finish our conversation.”

“Yes…hum, I can drive you to school if you want?”

“Yes, please. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Your belt please.”

Shibuya nodded and buckled his belt. Hirose turned his car on and drove. He could see Shibuya glaring at him from the corner of his eye.

“You…don’t seem to like me. Am I wrong, Shibuya-kun?”

“You and I perfectly know the reason."

“Sorry but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about Tora.”

“Oh…” blushed Hirose. “Listen, I’m not really for this relationship but Tora is deeply in love and…”

“You don’t deserve him! How could you have hurt him that way? He’s not a fuck toy or something! If you can’t treat him with some respect, get out of his life!!”

Hirose blinked. He went out of the road and stopped the car on a parking space. “Wait, wait…are you thinking I’m Tora’s lover???”

“I know it’s you! I know Tora is going out with an older man. I was wondering why he didn’t want to denounce you after what you did the last time or why he didn’t at least tell it to his uncle, but I have my answer now! You’re the worst!!”

“You’re wrong, Shibuya-kun! I’m not Tora’s lover!!”

“Liar! Don’t try running away from your faults!! Aren’t you ashamed? You’re a cop and his uncle’s colleague!”

“I told you it’s not me! You misunderstood…”

“Then, how do you know about his lover if it’s not you? I saw the way he was looking at you the last time we met!”

Hirose felt uncomfortable. Tora actually talked about his relationship with his friend but he didn’t tell him it was with his own uncle. He didn’t know what to do: telling the truth to Shibuya was just impossible but letting him think it was him was out of question either.

“So…Tora-kun never told you his name??”

“No…he just told me he was older than him, that’s all. But I don’t need to know his name since I already know it’s you.”

“Shibuya-kun, listen: I know Tora-kun because I’m working with his uncle but I swear I’m not his lover. I understand you really care about your friend and it’s a good thing, but you misunderstand. This is not me…”

Shibuya lost his temper and grabbed Hirose by the collar, facing him with a threatening look. “I’ll say it once: If you ever lay a single finger on him again, I’ll make you regret it. If you kept some dignity, stay away from him or I swear I’ll break you. Don’t underestimate me. Maybe I’m just a teenager but I have no intention to let my friend enduring the same treatment you already did to him. Understood??”

Hirose pushed him away, a bit disconcerted. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I saw the strangulation marks on his neck. The fact you were drunk isn’t an excuse to have been so brutal with him. Whatever Tora could say, it’s a rape. You forced him to have sex with you…do you realize you could have killed him??”

“Wh..what?”

“I should denounce you to his uncle…but I know Tora wouldn’t forgive me for this. Stay away from him or I swear I’ll tell to Kase-san.” Shibuya opened the door and went out of the car. “I prefer walking. You disgust me.” Then, he slammed the door behind him and left.

“Oh God…what did you do to Tora, Sempai?” whispered Hirose with fear.

 

* * *

 

When Hirose returned at the police station, he didn’t find Ryouji at his post. He looked at his colleague. “Where is Sempai?”

“On the roof to smoke.”

Hirose thanked him and went immediately on the roof. The tall brunette was fixing the sky, smoking, back pressed against the wall. He turned his head to face him.

“What? Looking for me?”

“Yes. We need to talk.”

“About what?”

“About…Tora-kun.”

Ryouji rolled his eyes annoyed. “Mind your own business and stop bothering me with this shit!” he was about to go back inside when Hirose grabbed his arm and forced him to face him.

“No way! What did you do to him?”

“How dare you talking to me this way, little shit???”

“Answer me! When I brought you back to home the last time from the pub: what did you do to him??” asked again Hirose. He was fixing him with anger. This time, Ryouji’s attitude didn’t fear him.

The other man seemed to be troubled by this question. He wondered how Hirose could know about this. “Why do you ask me that?”

“Answer me!”

“Watch your mouth, damn shithead or I’ll break your balls!” replied angrily Ryouji.

“Did you rape him?”

“Wh..what?”

“What about the strangulation marks? Did you abuse him??”

Ryouji was squeezing his fists with force. He just wanted to jump on Hirose and beat him until he wouldn’t be able to talk anymore, but he contained himself.

“What do you know?”

“I…I met one of his friends. He told me Tora-kun had strangulation marks on his neck and his lover had been brutal with him because he was drunk…”

Ryouji began to curse Tora. He talked about his relationship with a friend, which meant that he could be in troubles. Hirose noticed his sempai was thinking deeply so he told him everything.

“Shibuya is Tora’s friend. He just knows that Tora is going out with an older man but he doesn’t know it’s you. Actually, he’s thinking it’s me. I met him this morning and he threatened me to denounce me if I didn’t stay away from Tora. He talked to me about this incident, so now, I want to hear what really happened that night.”

Ryouji glared at him and sat on the ground. Hirose did the same.

“Sempai…I know you and this is not you. You’re not like that…tell me, tell me this is wrong…”

“You don’t know me. I’m not even sure I know myself…”

 “What happened?”

The brunette sighted, rubbing his forehead. “When you brought me back, Tora went to my room to put my shoes off, but…I dragged him to bed with me. I asked him to blow me and…I didn’t go easy on him.” Ryouji took another cigarette. “I’ve been rough with him…I even didn’t prepare him properly and I fucked him senseless. He begged me…he begged me to stop but I didn’t listen…I wanted to hurt him to make him hate me…”

“Did you…strangle him?”

“Yes…when I was fucking him, I pressed my hands around his neck. I didn’t want to hurt him, but just to fear him. And this bloody kid continued to say he loved me whatever I could do to him…I realized what I’ve done just after that and…I was so ashamed…”

“Sempai…”

“I’m not sure I knew what I was doing at this time…I thought it was just a nightmare or something but when I woke up the next morning, I saw the marks on his neck...don’t you think I already blame myself enough for this??” Ryouji got up and stayed on his back. “I’m not myself with this boy…I can’t stand him but…” He stopped talking embarrassed.

“But?”

“But…when I’m far away from him, I…miss him.”

Hirose approached and put his hand on his shoulder. “How are things between you two?”

“Not good at all…after I broke up with him, he avoided me and he even left my apartment to stay at the hotel. I brought him back with me but now, he is distant. I know things won’t be the same as before anymore…”

“Is he mad against you?”

“Yes, not because I abused him but because I broke his heart. I don’t know what to do…”

“Sempai…I’d like to give you a good advice but knowing the current situation with your sister, I don’t really know what to say…”

Ryouji turned around. “Do I disgust you?”

“What?”

“What do you think about me now you know what I did to him?”

Hirose looked down. He didn’t know what to answer. Ryouji laughed bitterly moving away.

“Don’t bother to reply. Your silence is a pretty good answer.”

But he stopped him, grabbing his arm. “You don’t…disgust me.”

“No need to lie, Hirose.”

“I’m not lying.” He faced him lifting his head. “I wasn’t there when it happened but…I’m sure Tora-kun let you do it. He could have stopped you even if he’s fragile and weaker than you. But he’s still a boy and he could have run away. So, if he’s not mad at you, I don’t think it’s really a rape…but it doesn’t mean that it’s forgivable from you…” He approached and tapped his shoulder with his hand. “Besides, you seem to regret it, so…I don’t need to blame you more than you already do.”

“Hum…it’s not an excuse…”

“Well, nothing is unforgivable. You know what you have to do if you want to find redemption…”

“Hirose…” began to say Ryouji sadly. “You know the same way I do I can’t…because of my sister.”

“Yes…” sighted the other man. “But you should tell it to Tora-kun. This way, he will understand…”

“But if I tell him, he would forgive me and…he would love me again.”

“Don’t you want it?”

“That’s not the question. If I have to let him go, I shouldn’t give him a reason to stay. He must hate me or he will never leave…”

“Sempai…”

“Let’s go back inside. I’m cold…” concluded Ryouji to stop this conversation.  

* * *

 

When he came back to home, Ryouji was depressed. Time was running out and he ruined these last moments with Tora. There was nothing he could do to change the situation between them, but keeping things like that wasn’t an option either. He was just fed up to think, to blame himself…to fight against his own desires and his fears.

“I’m back.”

“Welcome home.” Said coldly the little blonde. He had a towel on his shoulder. “Your dinner is on the table. I’m gonna take a bath.”

 _“He even doesn’t want to eat with me…”_ thought Ryouji sadly. He threw his vest on the sofa and reached the kitchen to take his plate. He sat and began to eat alone. He was so upset that he even didn’t know what he was eating. Everything tasted bitter, even water.

During this time, Tora was in his bath. Usually, he waited for Ryouji to have dinner but since they broke up, he avoided him. There was no way he would accept to be his whore for the rest of the month. Just three weeks and he would leave anyway. But on the other side, he was still mad at him and wanted to take his revenge, using Ryouji’s weaknesses. He needed to express his frustration and his anger. He supported Ryouji’s mood, his insults during so many days that he couldn’t handle even a single bad look or word anymore.

 _“Enough to be kind! You treated me like a shit during all this time. Don’t play the victim here! I’m the one who should be mad…”_ thought Tora. But Shibuya was right: he wasn’t like that. He wasn’t nasty. Revenge wasn’t what he was really looking for. He just wanted affection. _“Why didn’t you let me go the first time? It could have been so simple…”_

Tora went out of the bath and dried his body with the towel, before tying it around his waist. He took another one to dry his hair when he noticed he forgot his clothes on the living room.

 _“Damn! I was so in hurry to avoid him that I forgot my clothes there…what should I do? I’ve nothing else to wear since I put my clothes on the washing machine…”_ He wondered what he could do for long minutes but he started to be cold. _“I can’t stay here forever, I begin to freeze. I don’t care. I’m gonna take my clothes even if he’s still there!”_ decided the little blonde self-assured.

 

Ryouji just finished his meal and deposed his plate on the kitchen sink when he saw Tora walking with just a towel around his waist toward the living room. He passed near of Ryouji ignoring him completely. He took the clothes he had prepared and forgot on the chair and was about to return in his room when his uncle grabbed his arm.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked harshly.

“Forgot my clothes here…”

“Don’t joke with me! You’re just a fucking tease! Why do you have to pass in front of me naked??” Ryouji pinned Tora’s body against the wall.

“It wasn’t an invitation. It’s not my fault if you’re a pervert.”

“A pervert???”

“It’s what I said.” Replied Tora still fixing him. “You can’t think with anything else than your dick. It’s not so surprising you’re still single at your age!”

Ryouji pressed his hands on Tora’s shoulders. He grabbed his chin with rudeness, particularly annoyed by his comments. “How dare you…”

“Truth hurts, do you? Wanna beat me? Strangle me again?” asked Tora raising an eyebrow.

But even if Ryouji was really furious, he was also pretty hurt by Tora’s words because a part of him knew it was true. He released him but didn’t move away.

“Is it what you think I am? A pervert and a fucking looser?”

“You said it.” Grinned Tora.

“And…what do you think you are, Toranosuke? Huh? A saint? A good and innocent school boy?” asked Ryouji with sarcasm. “Didn’t you spread your legs for me? Didn’t you prepare yourself for my cock? Didn’t you beg me to fuck you? Tell me Tora…” smirked Ryouji.

The little blonde glared at him with hatred. He knew Ryouji was right and he hated it. The other man continued to provoke him.

 _“I want Ryouji’s cock…please Ryouji make me come…please Ryouji…fuck me harder…”_ mocked the tall brunette. “That were your words, am I wrong?”

“Shut up…”

“Oh…truth hurts, do you?”

“Get out of my way!”

But Ryouji blocked his way, putting his body in front of Tora and pressing his hands against the wall. “What’s wrong baby? Now, you’re running away?”

“Get lost, fucking pervert! I hate you!”

“Do you think you’re smatter than me? You’re playing the prudish now but you were pretty enterprising when you sucked my dick and spread your tights for me!”

Tora slapped his face lightly. He was shaking hard because of his anger and feared Ryouji’s reaction. He never went that far in the past, even when they argued. “Stop it…you’re just a sick bastard!! The only thing you care is you and you again!!”

Ryouji rubbed his cheek softly with the back of his hand, looking at Tora. He smirked and started to laugh. He moved closer dangerously.

"Maybe I’m a bastard but you’re a slut.”

The blonde blushed, hurt by these words. He didn’t look down and kept his eyes on him. “I loved you…I sincerely loved you, but you don’t understand since you can’t love anybody.”

“Huh…really? What about you? Since I’m a “sick bastard” to use your own words, why are you walking naked in front of a pervert like me if you really had no intention to seduce me?”

Tora flinched. He got a point here. He knew he would consider it like an invitation as the last time when he was cooking half naked with an apron.

“Why don’t you admit you just want I fuck you? You’re not that innocent, Tora.” He took his arm and dragged him to the bed with him. “I’ll give you what you want. We’ve got a reputation to live up to since we are a pervert and a slut.”

He pushed Tora on his back to the bed and stripped completely before going on the top of him, naked. He took off Tora’s towel and threw it on the ground.

“Spread your legs, slut.”

Tora stared at him with irritation but did it. He wouldn’t look down. If Ryouji wanted to play this game, he would do it too.

“Help yourself, pervert.”

Ryouji smirked. He grabbed the bottle of lube in his bedside table on the drawer. He didn’t use it a lot since the last time he bought it. He put some liquid on his fingers and on Tora’s entrance. The coldness of the lube made the blonde shivering but he kept his eyes wide open on Ryouji. The other man didn’t break the eye-contact. It was a battle of pride. The both of them were too stubborn to give it up, even if they perfectly knew it was a stupid battle to begin with. Then, the tall brunette inserted one finger in Tora’s rectum. He rubbed it before adding second and a third one. His moves were gentle and soft but the rudeness of his glance was ruining everything. Actually, they didn’t want to have sex together, but just to prove to each other who the stronger one was. One of them had to submit.

The man continued to prepare Tora with his fingers. He also pinched his left nipple still fixing him before stroking his cock. He wanted to make him come before entering him. Of course, Tora reacted to his touch but didn’t break the contact with his eyes. He raised a bit, just enough to be able to grab Ryouji’s hard cock with his hand. He stroked it with his small hand.

“Do you like my dick that much?” asked Ryouji grinning.

“Do you like my ass that much?” demanded Tora sneering at his turn.

The stimulation was good and the two men had to contain themselves to not come. It would be an admission of weakness. Ryouji had enough and pushed him on his back again, spreading his legs.

“Let’s continue with the real thing.” Then, he thrust slowly but in a single move Tora’s ass. The blonde bit his bottom lip to not moan or shout.

“See? Even your ass was just waiting for my cock.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“What? Am I wrong? Did you prepare yourself when you were bathing?”

“As if I would do it for you!”

“Well, I suppose you were just greedy because you’re pretty loosened there…”

“You can talk! You got hard really fast. Did you miss my ass that much or maybe your sex-friend couldn’t have satisfied you?”

“Shut up!” Ryouji got pissed and began to move, ramming his rectum with strength. The blonde never stopped looking at him, laughing.

“What? Isn’t she enough anymore for you, Ryouji? Are you becoming gay?” joked Tora.

These words just produced more annoyance and anger to Ryouji, who increased the rhythm, fucking him harder.

“I’m not like you, twerp!! I don’t need to use my ass to be satisfied!” He grabbed Tora’s legs and opened it wider to have a better access on his body. He fucked him harder and faster still locking his eyes in his.

The other one fought back still fixing him. He contained his voice, biting his tongue but it was harder with each move. The pleasure (with some little pain) was there. His cock was throbbing, begging to be rubbed.

“Why don’t you moan for me, huh, Tora? I know you like it.”

“You’re not that great…ugh…” replied the blonde with pride. But it was difficult to not feeling good and to keep his eyes on him.

Ryouji wanted to make him give up. He faked better than him but it didn’t mean that it wasn’t that easy to contain himself. He sat, dragging Tora’s body on him. The boy was impaled on his cock. The man took his cock with one of his hands and rubbed it strongly. On the same time, he also licked and bit his left nipple still fucking and fixing him.

The blonde was hot and completely red but he refused to submit. He gave a savage kiss to Ryouji keeping his eyes open, pulling his hair with strength. It amused the other man who bit harder his left nipple. He spanked Tora’s ass with his free hand, not roughly but not gently either.

“Bitch!”

Tora pulled his hair harder, kissing him hungrily. He even bit his bottom lip until he made him bleed. “Sex maniac!”

The verbal violence as the brutal embrace was strangely exciting for them. But they were still fighting against each other for the mental superiority. Ryouji licked the blood on his lip and continued to stimulate every spot on Tora’s body, biting his nipples, rubbing his cock, spanking his ass and fucking him harder. On the other side, the teenager was handling it pretty well, keeping his pride without never breaking the eye-contact and gripping Ryouji’s hair with strength. But at the end, he began to be weak. Restraining this way was exhausting, especially with a partner as Ryouji who had a big stamina. He understood he would lose when his grip on his hair became weaker. He was also blinking and breathing heavily, trying desperately to stay focused but in vain.

“Ah! Com…coming…aha! I can’t…” moaned Tora crying when he reached the orgasm and came suddenly. “Aaaaahhhhh!!! No..No more…”

Then, Ryouji came inside of him few seconds later and fell on his back, exhausted. The teenager collapsed on him and buried his face on his torso. Ryouji felt a cold liquid on his stomach and heard Tora crying. He put his hand behind his head and made him rolled on his back. The blonde was tired but also hurt emotionally. Whatever he could do, he would never win and would stay weak. Ryouji went on the top of him and hugged him on his arms, caressing his hair tenderly.

“I’m sorry, Tora…”

“Ry..ouji…” whispered the blonde crying. The tears were pouring down, like a river, along his cheeks and then, on Ryouji’s back.

“It’s okay, Tora…it’s okay…”

They stayed cuddled during the whole night, before falling asleep in each other arms. There was nothing to say. They had tried to hurt each other with their insults and the violence of their gestures. In the end, Tora lost…but it didn’t mean Ryouji had won. On the contrary.

 

* * *

 

Three weeks later.

During the rest of the month, the two men didn’t fight again. No insult, no reproach but no embrace or sex either. The last time broke something in them. Before, they hated each other, but on the other side, they needed to be together. It was a kind of love-hate relationship. But now, it was different and no one really knew how they were supposed to react. So they did nothing. Actually, the both of them were waiting for the other one to make the first step. Tora was still wondering why Ryouji had asked him to stay during a month. What would happen now the time was over?

At the end of the week, on Friday night, after the dinner, they finished to do the dishes. Ryouji rinsed his hands at Tora’s side.

“I don’t know what you planned for tomorrow but I need you cancel it.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see tomorrow. I’m gonna go to bed.”

Ryouji dried his hands with a towel and was about to leave when Tora called him.

“Are you gonna tell me your reason now?”

“What reason?”

“The reason why you wanted I came back with you during a month. You promised to tell me.”

Ryouji turned around and faced him. He approached slowly and reached Tora. He put his hands on his face and kissed him gently. At the beginning, Tora frowned, wondering what was wrong with him, but he completely forgot when he felt the gentleness of Ryouji’s kiss. He never had kissed him this way, and…it was really good. Tora enrolled his arms around his strong shoulders and enjoyed this time. It was another moment of happiness that the two men wished it could continue eternally. Ryouji finally broke the kiss after few minutes. He kept his hands on Tora’s face, pressing his forehead against his.

“Ryouji…”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow. Go to sleep now. It’s already late.”

The man gave him a last kiss on the cheek and disappeared in his room without saying another word. He closed the door behind him before falling on his bed heavily. Everything would end tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, after the breakfast, the two men left the apartment. They took the car. Tora didn’t ask anything until they were on the road.

“Where are we going?”

“To the airport.”

“But…why?”

Ryouji didn’t reply. He stayed focused on the road, ignoring Tora’s questions. The blonde didn’t insist and waited. They arrived thirty minutes later. Ryouji parked the car. He sighted and looked at Tora.

“We came to look for your mother.” He finally explained.

The teenager blinked. “Wh..what?”

“She should be there in one hour if the plane hadn’t been retarded. She wanted to make a surprise to you, so she asked me to not say a word until her arrival.”

“Bu…but…why?? I thought she was working at New-York and she couldn’t have holidays before several months?”

“Tora…she’s not coming for holidays. She’s back to Japan.”

“What???”

“Actually, she’s dating a guy who works with her, since several months. He got her a promotion at New-York and he asked her to marry him. She wants to be sure it doesn’t bother you before giving him her answer…and she felt guilty to have let you alone here. So, she talked with her lover and they decided to come back to Japan, at least for your last year before entering in the university.”

“You…You mean…she’s gonna take me back with her??”

“Yes. She announced me about two months ago. She wanted you meet her lover. He’s not coming with her today. He will join you later on the week.”

Tora was completely lost. During all this time, Ryouji knew his mother was coming back and didn’t say anything. He started to understand some of his reactions and the sadness on his eyes, as yesterday when he kissed him that gently. He knew he would leave his apartment.

“Let’s go. We need to find the gate of her arrival.” Ryouji went out of the car without waiting for Tora’s answer. The blonde followed him, still shocked by the news. They walked toward the main hall and checked the arrival.

“Oh! She’s already there. The plane arrived with thirty minutes in advance.” Ryouji looked around him. “Gate 5. Let’s go.”

Tora nodded and followed him. There were already several people who were waiting for their families and friends. Ryouji and Tora stayed behind, waiting. Tora stared at Ryouji with interrogation.

“Is..is it why you broke with me?”

But the tall man kept quiet. Explanations were useless now. But the teenager insisted again.

“Ryouji, tell me! Is it why you rejected me?”

“Does it matter? It doesn’t change anything anyway…”

“Yes it does! It’s important for me! I need to know what you’re feeling for me…please…” he said softly to not draw attention on them.

Ryouji was about to answer when he saw his sister. She waved at him. “She’s there.”


	7. For your sake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As i promised, chapter posted!  
> Some of the scenes can be repetitve but i did it on purpose. See you

“Tora! Ryouji!” exclaimed Tora’s mother waving at her son and her brother.

“Hi sis.”

“Mom!”

“It’s so good to come back! I missed you!”

“Yeah…but why didn’t you tell me you were coming back??”

“It was supposed to be a surprise. Well? Aren’t you happy to see me?” asked Kaoru.

“Of course I’m! It’s just…I thought you had to stay at New-York…”

“Let’s go back to my home. We’ll talk on the road.” Said Ryouji. “Give me your bag.”

“Thanks!” she held her baggage to her brother and took her son by the arm, walking. “So? How is school?”

“Fine, fine…no need to worry for that.”

Ryouji walked a bit faster to stay away from his sister and Tora. He wanted to give them some intimacy.

“You know, I was a bit worried at the beginning to let you live with Ryouji…but you seem to get along with him, don’t you?”

“Yes…” sighted Tora sadly.

“He can be rude, clumsy and aggressive sometimes but…”

“Sometimes?? You mean all the time?!” corrected Tora.

“Yes…but deep inside, he’s a good person. I don’t say that only because he’s my brother but also because it’s true.” She smiled with melancholy. “I remember when we were kids; he never left my side. He was so kind…”

“Mom…the little kid he was grew up, and I can tell you he’s everything except adorable!”

“Oh, Tora! Don’t be so rude, will you? You’re talking about your uncle!”

“If you had to live with him, you would understand, believe me!”

She laughed. “You don’t have to tell me, I know my brother.” Her face changed of expression suddenly. “But he has not always been like that…Actually, it’s since our father’s death he changed…”

“Really?”

“Yes…” she squeezed Tora’s arm tighter still walking with him, following Ryouji. “I should have been there to comfort him but…I met your father few years later and you’re born, so I never had time for him. Your grandmother told me he used to feel very lonely at this time…”

Tora remembered what Ryouji told him at the beginning of their cohabitation one night during the dinner.

 

_“My dad died in an accident when I was five. Sis was thirteen and I was five. When sis was eighteen, she got pregnant with a guy and left home. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t lonely at all. I was really frustrated when I finally saw sis again at the funeral.”_

_Tora was listening to him carefully without interrupting him._

_“So I got even more pissed when I saw you crying. I guess I was taking it out on you too. It was like seeing my past self. So because I was lonely, I enjoyed sex even more than eating from then on.”_

 

“Ryouji was young when our father died. We never talked about it seriously. I think I wasn’t ready to talk. Him neither anyway. To forget my pain, I used to go out often with friends so I wasn’t at home most of the time…and I met your father.” Continued to explain Kaoru to her son.

“You didn’t have more luck with dad…” said Tora, recalling her that his father also died.

“Yes…but even if our time was short, these days with your father were the best of my life and I don’t regret to have met him.”

“I know, mom…”

 Ryouji was waiting for them, clearly pissed. “What the fuck are you waiting for? Hurry up and get in the car!!”

Kaoru released Tora’s arm and moved closer to her brother to slap his head. “Who do you think you’re talking to? Huh, Ryouji?”

“Ouch!! What do you think you’re doing??” he asked back angrily, rubbing the back of his head.

“Giving you a good correction! Don’t forget I’m your eldest so you owe me respect!!”

“I owe you my ass! Get in the car or I swear I’ll let you here!”

Tora laughed seeing these two fighting for nothing. _“And I’m the younger one here…”_ he thought smiling. He went in the car and buckled his belt.

Ryouji and Karoru did the same. On the road, Tora’s mother never stopped talking and asking questions to her son. Ryouji kept silent, observing Tora discreetly on the rear-view mirror.

 

 

They finally arrived just for lunch time. They bought something on the road. But when they were about to return at their home, Ryouji’s phone rang. He had to leave for the police station for an emergency. He waved at them after had deposed his sister and Tora at his apartment and left without wasting any time.

Tora and his mother enjoyed this time to eat together.

“So? Did you choose your university and what you would study?”

“Not yet…”

“Tora! You have to take a decision!”

“I know but I still have time for this.”

“Months are gonna pass quickly. You must think about this seriously.”

“I know…” Tora played with his food before looking at her mother. “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Why…why did you come back to Japan?”

She stopped eating, staring at him. “Aren’t you happy to see me? You had preferred I stayed in New-York?”

“It’s not what I said! Of course I’m happy that you’re back, but there’s something else. There’s a reason for your return and…I wanna know. Tell me.”

She pushed her plate to have some place and crossed her hands together before putting it on the table. She seemed to be nervous.

“Well, I…I’m seeing someone.”

“Since how long?”

“Ten mouths, maybe a year…He’s working with me. His name is Akira Mitsurugi...” She blushed, trying to read Tora’s expression on his face.

“And?”

“And…about few months ago, he had been sent to New-York for a big project. Our agency has been chosen for this and he recommended me. It was an incredible opportunity that I couldn’t refuse…so I accepted this promotion and left to join him.”

“Sounds great! He seems to be a good man. How is he?”

“Akira? Hum…well, he’s tall and pretty handsome. He was widowed since six years when we started to date. Her wife died from a cancer as your father…so we talked about our common past and tragedy. With the time, we became close…”

“I see…”

Kaoru looked at her son, embarrassed. “Tora…does it bother you?”

“What?” frowned the teenager.

“Does it bother you that I’m dating another man?” she asked nervously.

“No! Not at all! What should I be bothered?”

“I don’t know…I thought you would have been disappointed to see me dating another man after your father’s death…”

“There’s a long time Dad is gone. It would be unfair to blame you. You have the right to be happy and to love again. I’m glad for you two.” Reassured the blonde boy smiling.

His mother sighted with relief. “Oh Tora…I was so afraid about your reaction. Thank you…”

“You know me better than that, mom! I wouldn’t have blamed you for anything.”

“Yes…sorry to have doubted you.”

“It’s okay…but that doesn’t explain why you came back to Japan…”

“Actually…Akira asked me to marry him.”

“Really???”

“Yes…”

“It’s wonderful!”

“Hum…I didn’t give him my answer yet.”

“Ah? Why?”

“Because I wanted to have your agreement for this.”

“Mom…” Tora got up and sat by her side, holding her hand. “You don’t need it. It’s obvious that I agree. If he’s a good man and you love him, I don’t have any reason to oppose.”

She jumped in his arms happily. “I’m so glad! Thank you, darling!!”

“I’m happy for you, mom. Really. So? You came back to marry? I could have joined you at New-York for this!”

“I didn’t chose to come back only for this reason. The project we were supposed to supervise had been stopped and delayed. At the beginning of the construction, during the stage of the foundations, they found an archeological dig, so the construction works stopped to allow the researches and to protect the historic heritage they discovered…”

“Oh…so your project had been dropped?”

“Let’s say that it would start later…so I had two options: staying at New-York to work on two other projects or coming back to Japan with my previous statute.”

“But, why didn’t you stay at new-York??”

“I did it for you.”

“For…me?”

“Yes. Don’t imagine that I didn’t feel guilty to have left this way without giving you any other choice to live with Ryouji. This is your graduating year and I really wanted to be there. But when Akira got me this promotion, I couldn’t have said no…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. I’m fine.”

“No you’re not fine, Tora. I made the same mistake with you that I did with Ryouji in the past…”

“I…don’t get it. What do you mean?”

She turned around to avoid his eyes and began to walk toward the kitchen to do the dishes. “After our father’s death, I wasn’t there to comfort Ryouji. I wasn’t strong enough to deal with my pain, so I drowned my sorrow the best way I could with dates and parties with friends. But during this time, your uncle was alone with his pain. And…when your father died, I did it again. It was the second time I lost an important person, so it was too much for me. I found a refuge in my work…and it became my everything, my universe. It became more important than you…” She managed to face her son with shame. “I…I’m so sorry Tora. I’ve never been there for you. I always used my work as an excuse to escape from the reality…but you needed me. I should have comforted you better…”

“Mom! Don’t say that! You have been there for me!”

“No…I was always working. I never had time for you…”

“No, it’s wrong!”

“But I don’t wanna let you think that I didn’t care about you! It was just because I couldn’t support to face your father’s death. I really loved him…”

“I know, mom. I don’t blame you. It hadn’t been easy for you…”

Tora hugged his mother to reassure her. They never had talked so honestly and for the first time, his mother had the courage to admit her mistakes.

“But now I don’t wanna run away anymore. I know it’s a bit late but…I want to be there for you. That’s why I came back.”

“Mom…” whispered sadly Tora. Even if he was touched by her decision, he couldn’t help to be bothered by her return, because it meant that she would become an obstacle between Ryouji and him. He was ashamed to think that way.

She moved closer and stroked his hair with affection. “Akira will join us in few days. This way you could learn to know each other better. He’s impatient to meet you.”

“Me too…” lied Tora.

“I checked some places to rent. I don’t think it would be good to buy another condo. Maybe you would study in another city or in another country after your graduation?”

“Maybe…”

“Ok. We’ll talk about it later. I’m gonna visit the place I found when Akira will be there. Help me doing the dishes.”

 

 

When Ryouji came back to his home, it was already late. He sent a message to Tora telling him to not wait for him for the dinner. Kaoru was exhausted by her long flight and went to bed just after her bath. Tora gave her the room where he used to sleep. He prepared the sofa but couldn’t sleep. He was still awake when Ryouji arrived.

“Welcome home.”

The man looked at him frowning. “What are you doing here? I told you to not wait for me!”

“Mom is sleeping in my room. I’ve no other place to sleep.”

“Ah, yes…I forgot it.” He took off his vest and went to the kitchen to have some water.

Tora joined him. “Are you hungry? I let you some rice and…”

“I already ate at my work.”

“I see.” He came closer to his uncle. “Ryouji?”

“What?” he kept his back on him.

“You didn’t answer me at the airport. Is it why you…”

Ryouji didn’t let him the time to finish his sentence, but kept his back on him. “Shut up…”

“Tell me…please…” asked again Tora.

“I told you to shut up! Your mother could hear us…”

“She’s sleeping.”

“I don’t care. I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.”

Tora hit Ryouji’s back with his head, grabbing his elbows with his small hands. “Just…just tell me: yes or no?”

Ryouji didn’t move. There were so many things he wanted to tell him like he was sorry to have been so brutal, that he acted like an idiot...and like he cared really much about him. But he couldn’t.

“No.”

Tora released him, disappointed. “Say it again facing me.”

Ryouji had enough and moved away. “Don’t wanna waste my time with your stupid game. Leave me alone!”

The tall man disappeared in his bedroom but when he was about to close the door behind him, Tora entered.

“Get out!”

“Stop shouting or you’re gonna wake her up.”

“I said out!”

“Answer me first and I will leave!”

“I already answered you. If it doesn’t please you, fuck you!”

“It’s not a question to know if it pleases me or not. I just want the truth. Tell me.”

“No Tora…you don’t want the truth; you just want to hear what you want.”

Tora looked down. He knew Ryouji wasn’t completely wrong. “Yes…yes you’re right. Yes I want to hear that you love me. Is it a crime to expect to be loved in return?”

Ryouji was exhausted to fight against Tora. “You don’t know when to give up…”

“Well, it’s not entirely my fault…” said Tora approaching slowly. “What am I supposed to think when you hold me…when you kiss me that way…when you make love to me?”

“We were just fucking.”

“At the beginning, yes. But you came to look for me when I left your home. You held me so gently…”

Ryouji laughed bitterly. “Are you talking about the last time we did it? I fucked you until you cry, and I don’t talk about the incident when I came back drunk. I won’t call it “gently”.”

“What about the other times? What about the way you took me in your arms without doing anything?”

“Enough. Go to bed.”

“Why don’t you want to give us a chance??”

Ryouji had enough and pinned Tora against the wall. “What chance? We CAN’T be together! Don’t you get it?? There’s your mother on the other room. How do you think she would react if she knew what we did?”

“She doesn’t need to know.”

“And what? We ‘re gonna continue this way, fucking behind closed doors and faking as if we were a happy family? Is this the life you want?”

Tora didn’t break the eye-contact with him. “If it means that I could stay by your side…yes.”

Ryouji stared at him, defeated. There was nothing enough strong to break Tora’s determination. Even after all what happened, he still loved him deeply. Tora took the opportunity to be that close to kiss him. He pressed his thin lips against his, grabbing the back of his head to kiss him more passionately. Ryouji didn’t have the strength to push him away and kissed him back, enrolling his strong arms around his waist. The kiss was delightful…something sweet, with the taste of sin. They shouldn’t…the both of them knew it. But they couldn’t stop. The more they pushed each other away, the more they came back together. In the end, it was always the same feelings: the short pleasure mixed with an eternal torture.

Ryouji broke the kiss, releasing Tora. “Leave…please.”

“Ryouji, I…”

But he silenced him putting his finger on his lips. “Stop. Don’t say more…I’m begging you. Stop it…” He closed his eyes to not see his look.

Tora sighted and gave up. He moved back and left the room. “Goodnight Ryouji.”

The tall man turned his back to him and didn’t reply. He waited for his departure to lie down on his bed, tired. He was fixing the ceiling sadly, touching his lips with his long fingers, still enjoying Tora’s taste.

“Give it up already…it can’t work.” Said out loud Ryouji sadly.

 

* * *

 

The next days, Tora’s mother continued to look for a place to rent. She found a good one, near of Tora’s school. She also came back to her office to meet her colleagues again. They were just waiting for Akira’s arrival. Ryouji tried to avoid Tora the best way he could, coming home lately, talking to ho him only when Kaoru was with them…But the teenager was always chasing after him, still waiting for his return late on the night or catching him when his mother was sleeping or talking on the phone. Nothing worked. Ryouji stayed distant.

 

 

One night, when everybody went to sleep, Tora was fixing the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep. He was thinking about what would happen when his mother’s fiancé would arrive.

 _“I don’t wanna live with them. It’s not like I could refuse it…Mom would be disappointed and hurt. After all, she came back for me. But…I don’t want to leave Ryouji.”_ Thought Tora.

He was wondering how he could find a solution which would satisfy everybody. _“Maybe…maybe I could talk to Mom and tell her that I’m not at ease to leave with her and her fiancé…something like “I don’t wanna be in the way”…but I don’t want she thinks that I don’t like him. Actually I even didn’t meet him…”_

He realized that whatever he could do, he would hurt his mother’s feelings. He couldn’t do that, and Ryouji would refuse it anyway. But being far away from Ryouji would mean…giving his place for his sex friends. It was something Tora couldn’t accept.

 _“What should I do? If leave, he‘s gonna see these women again…and he would forget me.”_ He shook his sad with a depressed look. _“I’m talking as if we were lovers! I’m even not sure he stopped seeing women. The fact he fucked me doesn’t mean that he didn’t do it with women…He said it to me so many times that we were just fucking…”_

The teenager held himself. He needed to be comforted but there was nobody to give him this hug. He felt lonely. _“Why? Why can’t I give up on him? What can I still expect? He doesn’t love me…”_

But closing his eyes, Tora remembered the way Ryouji touched him; the way he kissed him, held him…the way he reassured and comforted him during their embrace.

_“If you don’t love me, then, why are you so gentle?”_

Tora had enough and got up. He walked toward Ryouji’s bedroom. He stayed in front of the door, quietly, still wondering what he was doing. He raised his hand to knock but changed his mind and renounced. He sighted, depressively before going back to the living room.

He didn’t know that Ryouji heard him coming and was facing him, through the closed door, waiting for him to make the first move. He didn’t know if he should be relieved or disappointed. He wanted to hold Tora again, but with Kaoru on the same roof, it was impossible. Ryouji put his head on the door, defeated and tired. He realized that despite of everything he did to him, Tora had still the same feelings, and…a part of him was happy for this.

 

* * *

 

One week later.

 

Kaoru’s fiancé was supposed to arrive today. Since it was in the middle of the week, Ryouji and Tora couldn’t have come to welcome him at the airport. Kaoru took a day off and went to look for him with a taxi. They went back to Ryouji’s home and waited for their return. They were preparing the dinner, at the end of the afternoon.

“So, you said Toranosuke reacted well when you told him about us?” asked Akira.

“Yes. He’s happy for us. I’m so relieved…but I should have known he would have reacted this way. He’s so kind…” Kaoru looked a bit sad. “That’s what is scaring me sometimes…”

“Ah? Why?”

“He’s so naive and honest. I don’t want to see somebody abusing his kindness…he needs to become stronger.”

“Honey, he’s young. Let him make his own mistakes.” He laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“Ah…you’re a mother after all. You can’t stop worrying for him, it’s normal.”

She looked down. “I...never have been this kind of mother.”

  “Kaoru?”

“I…I let my job becoming more important than my son. I came back late often…and I even worked during the weekend on my computer.”

“You’ve got responsibilities. I’m sure Toranosuke understands it.”

“Yes…but this is not a reason.”

Akira hugged her in his arms. “Don’t be so rude with yourself, honey. It’s never too late to be there for him. Now we’re back to Japan, I’m sure everything is gonna be alright.”

“You’re right.” She smiled again and kissed him.

 “You know, we need to think about introducing our families. When can we go to visit your mother?”

“I don’t know. We should wait to find a place to rent first. I called her about three days ago. She’s fine and she wants to meet you soon.”

“Yes. I went to visit my mother two days before my departure. She told me she would come with my dad later. They went to France for two weeks.”

“So romantic…will you bring me there too for our honeymoon?”

“Maybe…” replied Akira seductively.

“Okay! Let’s finish the dinner. They’re gonna come back soon.”

 

* * *

 

Tora left school a bit later today. It was his turn to clean the garden. Shibuya wasn’t there. He caught a cold lately so he was stuck at his home. Tora took his homework and brought it to him after school. He didn’t stay a long time because Shibuya needed to rest and because he knew his mother was waiting for him at Ryouji’s house with her fiancé. He didn’t want to come back immediately. He was stalling on the road when he heard the klaxon of a car.

“Get in the car.”

“Ryouji? What are you doing here?”

“I was in the neighborhood for a meeting. Get in.”

Tora opened the door and got inside. He buckled his belt and kept silent. He could guess Ryouji was feeling the same way he did.

“You don’t wanna meet him, right?” asked Ryouji.

“What?”

The man rolled his eyes. “Come on! I can see it pisses you off!”

“No!” protested Tora. “I’m happy for Mom! Really!”

“Then, why are you making that face?”

Tora sighted. “You know why…she planned to take me with her…”

Ryouji was cursing himself to have brought this subject. _“Well done, genius!”_

“Ryouji…I don’t wanna leave.”

“It’s the better thing to do.”

“For whom?”

“You, me, your mother…shit! You know what I mean!!”

“How is it supposed to be better for me when it’s not what I want?”

“We don’t always do what we want. You’re big enough to understand it by yourself now.”

They were still on the road. But strangely, Ryouji didn’t take the faster way to come back to home. On the contrary. Tora was too depressed to notice it.

“Your home would be on a mess again when I will leave…”

“I’m not that clumsy!”

“I found five condoms the first day I came to your home. You even didn’t take the time to throw it on the garbage!”

“And so?”

“You hadn’t done the dishes since weeks!”

“And?”

“And your place was dirty and messy! It took me the whole day to clean up entirely.”

Ryouji smirked. “Not my fault if I don’t have the time for these things.”

“You have the time for other ones…” murmured Tora.

“What??”

“Nothing…”

They kept silent again. Tora was looking at the land, through the window.

“You wouldn’t take the time to cook…”

“Don’t like cooking anyway.”

“Thinking about this, since I started to live with you, you practically never ate outside…”

“Your cook is good.”

Tora blushed. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Ryouji gave him a quick glance. “Stop fishing for compliments!”

“I’m not doing it…” replied Tora soflty.

“Why are you blushing for?”

“It’s…because you never compliment me usually.”

Ryouji got pissed. “Yeah, I forgot I’m the perfect jerk! The clumsy and perverted cop who is living in a pigsty!”

“Stop overreacting all the time! I didn’t say that!”

“Is it not what you’re thinking?”

“No!”

“Liar!”

It was Tora’s turn to be angry. “Why can’t you believe in me? Why should I think this way about you? Didn’t I tell you that i loved you more than once??”

“You also said that I was a pervert and a sick bastard to use your own words…”

“BUT WHAT THE FUCK UP DID YOU EXPECT FROM ME AFTER ALL WHAT YOU DID, RYOUJI??”

Ryouji parked the car and went out of the road. “You wanna know it? I EXPECTED YOU HATE ME!!” roared the tall man furious.

Tora’s face kept fixing him, a bit surprised. But after a long uncomfortable time of eye-contact, he looked down, crossing his hands as if he was praying.

“Do you remember what I told you this day we did it when you came back drunk?”

“You mean the day I raped and strangled you?” asked Ryouji with sarcasm.

“You didn’t rape me…but yes, about this day. Do you remember?”

“You told me a lot of things, and I wasn’t in my best state as you could remember?” lied Ryouji. Actually, he perfectly reminded what Tora said this day but he pretended to not know.

“I said that I would still love you whatever you could do…and that I would never hate you.”

“Bullshit…”

“No…I meant what I said…and I still mean it.”

Ryouji was desperate. He tried everything to make him give up…everything. He had enough to fight with him, to try to convince him…he just wanted to understand how he could love him that much.

“Tora…how can you love somebody like me? You’re not the first person I fuck, but I can tell you that I never and I say NEVER, treated somebody as I did with you in my whole life. I used you like my fuck toy, I raped you, I hurt you, I broke your heart, I made you cry, I humiliated you…I’ve done all the worse things it could exist to you and…despite of that, you still love me. Why? Tell me why!! Even without being at your place, I hate myself to treat you this way! How could you endure it?? There’s no fucking good reason for this!!” said Ryouji, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

Tora put his hand on his lap. “I know…it’s wrong. I know I shouldn’t have fallen for you knowing that you’re my uncle. I can’t lie to you: it doesn’t please me to be treated this way. But, deep inside, I know you’re a good person…and I can’t stop loving you. I can’t stop because…I’m sure that you’re feeling something for me…”

“Tora…” sighted Ryouji.

“Maybe I’m just trying to convince myself. Maybe you don’t feel anything for me…but if there’s a chance, even a small one, that you could love me back…then, I don’t wanna miss it.”

“ _Say it…say it…_ ” said to himself Ryouji.

Tora took his right hand with his. “I’m not that innocent. I’m the one who brought you in this mess…with this thing with Hyodo and all…and, I probably forced your feelings when I confessed. I’m sorry. I didn’t think about the consequences of our relationship…”

“Don’t apologize, idiot…”

“I can’t forget what happened but I forgave you because I know it wasn’t what you wanted to do.”

Ryouji looked at him straight in the eyes. “How do you know that it wasn’t what I wanted?”

Tora observed him with attention, reading his feelings in his eyes. “I know it.”

“HOW??” asked again Ryouji.

“Because of the way you held me and…you kissed me. If you were really that bad, you wouldn’t have bothered to comfort him.”

“You’re hopeless…” whispered Ryouji, before turning on the car again. He went on the road again and didn’t pronounce another word until they arrived. Tora neither. He already said the same things to him, but it was never enough to convince Ryouji. With his attitude, he just tried to push Tora away, but despite of his good poker face, it wasn’t what he really wanted.

They arrived few minutes later. Ryouji stopped the car and turned it off. They didn’t move immediately, still enjoying the private time they had together. After a short time, Tora unbuckled his belt and opened the door.

“I don’t know what would happen…but I don’t want to give up on you.” Said Tora going out of the car when Ryouji grabbed his arm. “What?”

“I…” hesitated Ryouji before speaking again. “I don’t want you to leave…”

Tora blushed hearing his words. It was a semi-confession but at least an admission of a need. “Ryouji…”

“They’re waiting for us. Let’s go.” The tall brunette didn’t let to Tora the time to answer. He couldn’t have said it…but he admitted he didn’t want to lose him and that his presence was important for him.

 

 

They were welcomed by Kaoru.

“Hi guys! Welcome home. Where were you? It’s already late!”

“Hi…I finished later than I thought. I picked Tora on the road.”

“Tora?”

“Hum…I brought his homework to Shibuya. He’s sick. Besides, I had my duties at school…sorry for the wait.”

“It’s okay. Come on you two. Akira is waiting for you in the living room.”

They followed her after had taken off their shoes. A tall man with black hair and brown eyes, wearing a white shirt with black pants was on his feet, in the middle of the room, smiling.

“Akira Misturugi, my fiancé.”

The man bowed and held his hand to Ryouji.

“Kase Ryouji, my little brother.”

He glared at her. “Don’t call me “little”! I’m taller than you!” he fixed his attention on Akira again. “Nice to meet you, Mitsurugi-san.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Kase-san.”

 Then, Kaoru approached and mentioned her son. “My son, Toranosuke.”

The boy bowed politely and shook Akira’s hand. “Pleased to meet you, Mitsurugi-san.”

“I’m glad to meet you, Toranosuke-kun. Your mother talked to me so much about you…” Akira smiled at the teenager, blushing. Actually, he didn’t imagine the boy this way, with his european look, his white skin and his blond hair. He found him pretty cute and couldn’t see any similarity with his mother. Maybe his eyes?

“You can call me Tora, Misturugi-san.”

“Then, call me Akira. We don’t need to be so formal.” Accepted the man smiling.

“Okay…”

Ryouji had already enough and decided to move faster. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”

Kaoru slapped his head. “Can’t you be polite for once, silly?”

“I told you to stop slapping my fucking head or I swear I’ll hit you back!”

“Try me and I’ll make you eat your shoes! And stop talking back!” she slapped him again.

Brother and sister continued to argue. Akira and Tora were looking at them amused. The man took this opportunity to start the conversation with him.

“Are they still like this when they are together?”

“Always! Even for my father’s funerals, they were fighting.” Replied Tora. He understood that mentioning this event, especially his father with his mother’s fiancé wasn’t the best thing to do. He regretted it immediately.

“I hope it doesn’t bother you that your mother and I are dating?”

“Not at all! I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable speaking of my father…”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I’m sure we’re gonna get along!”

“Yes…”

But even if Akira seemed to be a good man, Tora didn’t mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about Ryouji’s last words and his constant gaze on him made Akira perplexed.

 

During the dinner, Akira started to talk with Ryouji to know him better. He also spoke with Tora who always answered politely with shyness, which amused him. The teenager was the exact opposite of his mother: a cute and shy teenager. But he also noticed the way he was looking at his uncle. Ryouji tried to avoid him, ignoring his glances, but there was definitely something between them. Kaoru was too busy correcting her brother and introducing her fiancé to them that she didn’t notice it. But Akira was an observant man.

After the dinner and the dishes, the four of them stayed on the living room talking, until they got tired. Akira and Kaoru went to their room leaving the two men alone.

“Goodnight Tora-kun, Kase-san.”

“Night…I need to leave sooner tomorrow morning, so don’t be surprised if you don’t see me for the breakfast.” Said Ryouji.

“No problem.”

Tora smiled at them. “Goodnight you two.”

Everyone slipped. Ryouji just waved at Tora to wish him goodnight before leaving. The teenager wanted to have a word with him but he thought it would be better to wait a bit longer.

 

 

In the middle of the night, Ryouji couldn’t sleep. He went on his balcony in his bedroom to smoke. He didn’t make so much noise, but Tora heard it. He wasn’t asleep either and just waited for an opportunity to see Ryouji. The blonde got up and walked quietly toward his bedroom. When he arrived, he didn’t knock and entered. He closed the door behind him and looked for Ryouji. He saw him on the balcony and approached. But the tall brunette heard him and turned around.

“What are you doing here at this hour, idiot?”

“I needed to talk with you.”

They were whispering to not wake up Kaoru and Akira. But at the same time, Akira got up. He needed to use the bathroom. He left the bedroom being careful to not disturb Kaoru’s sleep. Since he didn’t know this home, he took his phone with him to have some light on the corridor. He didn’t want to bother people turning on the lights. He was walking toward the bathroom when the wind opened Ryouji’s door. He heard some whispers and decided to listen, curious. He moved closer and stayed at the entrance of the room. He could see from his spot, Ryouji and Tora speaking near of the balcony.

“I’m sure I can convince Mom. I’ll tell her that I don’t wanna be in the way and that it would be better for her and Akira-san if I kept living at your home and…”

“It won’t work and you know it. She came back for you at the first place.”

“But…I don’t want to leave you. You neither and…”

“Stop it! This is useless…go back to your bed.”

Tora grabbed Ryouji’s arms. “Tell it to me.”

“What?”

“Say it. Please…I’m begging you. Say it…”

“That’s it! Get out! Now!!”

But Tora kissed him suddenly, surprising him. Akira blinked in shock when he saw it. He needed to rub his eyes to be sure of what he was seeing.

Ryouji pushed him away, furious. “Are you crazy??”

“I love you, Ryouji, and I know you love me too. Just admit it…”

“You don’t know anything!”

“Whatever! I don’t care! I love you and I wanna stay by your side. I’ll do anything…please…”

“Stop acting like a pussy! And you know it doesn’t depend of me!”

“I won’t support to be far away from you…please…”

Ryouji understood that the strength wouldn’t work with him so he tried another way to convince him. He grabbed his face with his hands and made him facing him. “Tora…we can’t be together. We have to stop this.”

“But…don’t you like to hold me?”

“I do but…”

“I want to stay the only one for you. You have me. You don’t need these women. I can satisfy you. I can give you what you want.”

“I know…”

“Ryouji, it’s not just sex between us. There’s more. It’s true that at the beginning we were just fucking but…I know there’s more now, and I don’t wanna end this. Please…let me stay with you…”

Akira was stunned. “ _They had sex??? More than once in addition of that??”_

“Tora, I hurt you so much…I’ll do it again.”

“For the last time, you didn’t rape me!!” said Tora exasperated.

“What about the strangulation? Will you deny it too?”

Tora looked down. “No…but you were drunk. Please, let’s forget this. That’s not important.”

“Yes it is for me. It is…”

Ryouji had let his hands on Tora’s face who covered his with his own. “Ryouji, I love you…”

“You shouldn’t…”

They couldn’t resist anymore to each other and kissed passionately. Nothing was important anymore. It was just them. No one could understand. They needed each other. The perspective of being divided was unbearable and they wondered what would happen to them when Kaoru and Akira would leave, bringing Tora with them.

None of them had noticed somebody was watching them.  


	8. Faith in you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I finally finished this chapter. Warning: this is a very sad and depressing one, so if you're too sensitive, don't read...and don't hate me.  
> For the ones you will read it, don't drop it after this chatper. I always write happy ending so everything would be alright later, i promise!  
> see you and thanks for your kudos!

The next morning, when everybody was up, Ryouji already left for work. Since he warned everyone yesterday, it wasn’t a surprise. During the breakfast, Akira never stopped looking at Tora. The teenager noticed his constant glance and wondered why the man was fixing him this way.

“We’re going to visit a place today, after work. Do you want to come with us, Tora?” proposed his mother.

“No thanks. I have to finish my home works with Shibuya this afternoon.”

 _“Home works…”_ thought Akira smirking.

“Oh…but I hoped you could have been there. We’ll live there soon so I’d like to know if you like it.”

“Don’t worry for me. I don’t mind. If you two like it, I’ll like it.” Tora couldn’t help to be sad. Living with his mother and Akira-san meant leaving Ryouji alone.

“Ok. With some luck, maybe we could move there in the week?”

“Yes! It would be great.” Akira turned his attention on the little blonde. “Don’t you think Ryouji-san would feel lonely without you, Tora?” he asked with sarcasm. Of course, Kaoru couldn’t notice it since she wasn’t aware of anything. Even Tora didn’t get the insinuation but blushed.

“Yeah…he would probably miss my food and living in a clean house…”

 _“You mean he would miss your ass…”_ thought Akira with irony.

“Be back before dinner tonight please.”

“Yes mom.”

 

 

After the breakfast, the three of them left Ryouji’s house. Kaoru and Akira went to their office, when Tora was on his way to go to school.

He couldn’t stop thinking about last night. They haven’t done anything with Ryouji except kissing. It wasn’t that they could have done it knowing that Kaoru and Akira were in the other room…but he couldn’t have resisted seeing him. He needed to tell to Ryouji that he didn’t want to leave. Of course, his uncle already knew it but he wanted to make him understand that he was serious and determinate to stay by his side.

_“I don’t want you to leave…”_

Tora remembered what Ryouji had said to him before his first meeting with Akira. He recalled the sad expression he had. It sounded as a plea…even if he was too proud to dare begging or asking anything. But it was written on his face: he feared this moment as Tora did…this moment when he would say goodbye to him, when they would slipped, returning in their daily routine…when they would come back to their home alone…again.

 

“Tora!”

The blonde went back to the present and turned his back when he recognized the familiar voice. “Shibuya! How are you?”

“Better, thanks! So? What’s up?”

“Oh…nothing to report.”

“Hum…you’re lying.”

“No! What should i?”

“I don’t know. You look depressed. Is it because of “him” again?”

Tora rolled his eyes, exasperated. “I already told you it was over.”

“Yes you said that, but it doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“I don’t want to talk about this, please.”

“Tora, please listen…”

“Shibuya!” said firmly Tora. His friend even moved back with surprise hearing Tora’s tone. “You’re my best friend and I know I can count on you but…please. I really try to turn the page, so don’t bring back this subject constantly each time we talk together...please.”

“Yes…you’re right. I’m sorry.” Apologized Shibuya.

“Don’t apologize. I’m really thankful to have such a good friend like you.”

“Thanks…but promise me to tell me if something is wrong, ok?”

“Sure.”

 

 

* * *

 

At his office, Ryouji was troubled, again. There was nothing to do to forget Tora. He remembered the previous night when he came to his room to confess his feelings again and again. He remembered the kiss…and the strong desire he had at this time to have sex with him. But with Kaoru and Akira on the same place, it was just impossible. Now, he was waiting for the day he would leave, disappearing from his life…

_“What can I do? I never stopped complaining to Kaoru about Tora’s presence since he arrived in my life. I can’t tell her to let him stay at my home. Besides, she came back from New-York for him in the first place. I can’t be in the way…”_

His cell phone rang. He took it on the desk and saw a name he almost forgot: Yumi.

_“What does she want again? There’s a long time I didn’t see her…”_

He absolutely had no desire for her anymore. She was pretty good at sex and gorgeous. She seemed to have some feelings for him, but he didn’t care. No woman in the world could make him forget Tora’s body. There was nothing similar. Tora gave him more pleasure. There was something different with him when they had sex, something that he couldn’t describe…but something he would never find with someone else, something he definitely didn’t want to lose.

_“I wish I had never met him…”_

 

“Sempai?”

Ryouji turned around and glared at him. “What?”

 _“Oookay…he’s mad again…”_ said mentally Hirose. “The boss is waiting for us in his office.”

“What for?”

“Dunno, but I think it’s related to Hyodo.”

“Hyodo??”

“Yes. I heard him talking about him with Shun. We should go now.”

“Ok.”

 

They left their office to reach the boss’one. They knocked and entered.

“Come in.”

“Hi Boss. Did you request us?” asked Hirose.

“Yeah. Take a seat.”

They sat in front of him and waited for more explanations.

“You two worked on Hyodo’s case…and after what happened with your nephew, Kase, I thought I had to warn you about this.”

“What happened with Hyodo?” demanded Ryouji, a bit nervous.

“As you know, he has been transfered to another district. But about one week ago, he provoked a fight in the prison where he was with two other prisoners. He took the opportunity that the guards were busy stopping the fight to steal a gun and he shot one of them. He escaped.”

“What?? You mean he left the prison???” said Hirose under the shock.

“Yes. We think he had some connections in the prison. Even some guards seem to be involved in his evasion.”

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” asked Ryouji.

“Actually, I just have been informed about this. The corrections departments and the police of the district are investigating to discover the connections he had. That’s why they didn’t warn us. But after one week, they’re still not sure about how many people are involved and where Hyodo could have gone. They need our help.”

“Damn…”

“I don’t think he would be that stupid to attack you, Kase, but I want to be sure that you’ll be on your guards.”

“I can deal with it, don’t worry for me. But…”

“But?”

“But…I can’t say the same thing for Tora.”

“Your nephew?”

“Yes. If he’s about to get hurt again, I step in. I prefer to tell you.”

“I understand but no need to worry for him. I assigned two officers to watch him 24 hours a day.”

“That’s my job. I want to be assigned to his security too.”

“You can’t. You’re too involved in this investigation.”

“Of course I am! You’re talking about my nephew’s safety!” replied angrily Ryouji getting up.

“Behave yourself, Kase!” shouted his boss, furious. “I know you’re worried for him and it’s understandable. But I won’t tolerate your insubordination!”

“Then, let me take care of this.”

“You’ll ruin everything if you’re in the way! Now, listen to me and stay away from this.”

“I can’t. Tora is gonna leave to return to his mother’s house. He won’t live at my home soon and I wouldn’t be there to protect him if I’m not in this investigation.”

“It’s even better. This way, we would have free rein.”

“Wh..what?”

The boss sat again, a bit uncomfortable. “Kase, sit down please.”

“I got it…” said Ryouji, breathing heavily. “You…you’re using Tora as bait. That’s why you need to keep me away from this, right?”

Hirose blinked in shock. “Boss?”

The man in front of them didn’t seem to be at ease. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you but…knowing your temper, you would have caused troubles to us. We know what we’re doing, Kase…I promise that nothing will happen to your nephew.”

“You really think that I’m gonna stay out of this without doing anything and crossing my arms when I know that Tora is in danger?”

“That’s what we want you do.”

“No way.”

“Kase, please…”

“THERE’S NO WAY I WOULD LET YOU PLAY WITH TORA’S LIFE THIS WAY! NO WAY IN HELL!!”

“Don’t force me to use the strength, Kase!”

“Fuck off! I won’t let you do it!!”

The boss sighted, defeated. “You don’t let me any other choice…badge.”

“But Sir…” said Hirose.

“Your badge and your gun. Now!” he ordered to Ryouji.

The tall brunette glared at him. He took his badge and threw it on the desk. Then, he deposed his gun.

“I’ll give it back to you after the end of the investigation and when we would arrest Hyodo. I forbid you to come back to the office or to interfere in this case. Understood?”

Ryouji didn’t reply and just left the office, slamming the door. His boss was stunned by his lack of respect and his insubordination. He couldn’t completely blame Ryouji, but it was still unacceptable. He waved at Hirose.

“You’re dismissed.”

Hirose nodded and ran after Ryouji.

“Sempai!”

Ryouji didn’t turn back and went to his office to take his vest. Hirose followed him.

“Sempai! Wait!”

The brunette didn’t waste more time and left the police station. Everyone there was looking at him, a bit sorry for him. They understood him perfectly but there was nothing they could say. Hirose continued to follow him.

“Sempai, please! Wait for me.” He called again when they reached the street.

“Leave me alone.”

“Sempai, I’m sorry…”

“I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m sure I can convince the boss. Please, come back with me.”

“No. I’ve been discharged. He won’t listen to you. Don’t waste your time.”

“But…”

“I told you: there’s no way I would stay without doing everything I can to protect Tora.”

“But you’ll be in trouble…”

“I don’t care. Tora’s life is more important than my job…or than anything.”

“Sempai…”

“Just inform me if you have some news about the investigation.”

“Sure…”

“Thanks.” Then, Ryouji left.

“Sempai?”

“What again?”

Hirose looked down, embarrassed. “Promise me…promise me you wouldn’t do anything stupid…please.”

Ryouji smirked. “No.”

Hirose sighted, looking at him moving away. There was nothing he could do to stop him and he knew it.

 

 

Ryouji didn’t come back immediately to home. Actually, he went to Tora’s school to be sure that he would risk nothing. He had no intention to tell him that Hyodo escaped from the prison. It was useless to fear him with this. But looking around him, he saw a car with two men inside. He recognized his colleagues and understood they were probably the officers in charge of Tora’s protection. He went to see them.

“Hi guys.”

“Kase-san…good afternoon.”

“We..the boss told us you’ve been discharged. We’re sorry…”

“Never mind. Did you see something unusual?”

“No, Sir. We’re not even sure that Hyodo is in the town or he’s after your nephew…”

“I know. I’ll be around so just do as if I wasn’t there, ok?”

“But the Boss said we have to warn him if we see you and…”

“You don’t need to do this. I won’t interfere. I just want to be sure that my nephew isn’t in danger, that’s all.”

“Ok, but stay out of the way, please.”

“Fine. Good luck to you, guys.”

“Thank you Sir.”

Ryouji went further and waited for the end of the school. When he saw Tora leaving with his friend, he followed them keeping his distances to not be seen by his colleagues. The teenager reached his friend’s house and left two hours later. During all this time, Ryouji waited for him. He watched him and went back to his home few minutes later after Tora. Kaoru and Akira were already back.

 

* * *

 

“Welcome home, Ryouji.” Said Tora.

“Hi. Where’s your mother?”

“She’s in the kitchen with Akira.” Tora looked down sadly. “They visited a place today and…they signed. We’re moving Saturday…”

Ryouji felt his heart breaking. It wasn’t enough to have been discharged, to have known that Hyodo was maybe after Tora, that he had to bear with it now.

“They don’t need to leave so fast…”

“I know. But Mom wants to finish the moving quickly. I can’t help it…” said Tora almost crying. “Ryouji…”

The man stroked his hair gently. “It was expected. Don’t cry or they would suspect something.”

“You’re right. Sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. Let’s join them.”

 

During the dinner, Tora tried to fake being happy, but he wasn’t convincing at all. His forced smile betrayed his pain. Akira could guess it. It was also noticeable on Ryouji’s face.

“Whoa…you two look depressed. Did you have a bad day?” asked Kaoru to her brother and to her son.

“Kind of…” replied Ryouji.

“I’m fine, just tired.” Lied Tora.

“Well, you can be happier. We’re gonna leave Saturday. You can’t complain anymore!”

“You don’t need to leave immediately, you know? I complain but I don’t really think what I say…”

Kaoru laughed. “Wait a minute…are you trying to say me something, Ryouji?”

“What?”

“Ooohhh…so cute! You want to keep your sis by your side?”

“Fuck you! I’m not that desperate! I just said that to be polite!”

She slapped his head again. “Watch your language, idiot! Anyway, why are you so concerned so suddenly?”

“Do as you want, stupid! I don’t give a shit!”

“Hey guys! It’s alright. No need to fight…” said Akira to calm everyone.

“And you still wonder why I want to leave so quickly? Who would like to stay with such a jerk?”

Tora kept his head down. “ _Me for example…I would give everything to stay by his side.”_ He thought silently.

“My poor Tora…I understand what you could have felt during all this time, living with him…” added Kaoru.

Tora smiled sadly. _“Yeah…I was happy.”_

His mother frowned when she saw his melancholic face. “Tora?”

“What?” asked the blonde, recovering his memories.

In front of him, Ryouji was staring at him, depressed. “ _I feel the same, Tora_.” He seemed to say.

Akira noticed the connivance in their look but kept it for himself.

“Where were you?”

“Probably in “La la land” again…” joked Ryouji, drinking some water.

“Shut up…” Tora blushed.

“Okay, guys. Stop teasing this poor Tora.” Said Akira stroking his back. “He’s completely red!”

“Thank you, Akira-san.”

“I’m tired. I’m gonna take a shower.” Said Ryouji getting up.

“Where do you think you’re going like this?” asked his sister. “What about the dishes?”

“I let you live for free in my home. You can at least do it!”

“Jerk!”

“Don’t you dare slap me again!!”

“Oh God…here we go again…” sighted Akira. “Don’t worry, Tora-kun. We just have to support their quarrel for two days.”

“Yeah…” Tora took the plates and went to the kitchen. “Two days…”

 

* * *

 

Late on the night, when everybody was supposed to be asleep, Tora got up and went to Ryouji’s room. The door wasn’t locked, so he entered. The bed was empty. Ryouji was fixing the stars in the sky on his balcony. Tora moved closer silently.

“Go back to bed, Tora.” Said Ryouji without even turning around.

“…” the teenager stayed on the same position, immobile, fixing his back. Ryouji understood he didn’t move so he finally turned around to face him.

But strangely, he didn’t ask him to leave again. Knowing he was in danger because Hyodo escaped made him realize how much he treasured his presence. If Kaoru didn’t come back to Japan, he would have kept him by his side…and now, he had regrets. He regretted to not have been there more often with Tora; he regretted to not have brought him in date more than once; he regretted to have treated him so badly, instead of being gentle and loving; he regretted to have broken his heart, using his body to satisfy his desires without thinking about the consequences for him…he regretted to have been so selfish and nasty.

“Ryouji…”

The tall man dragged his nephew against his chest and held him, breathing his scent and caressing his hair. Tora was a bit disconcerted by his gentleness but actually liked it.

“We’re gonna live at five miles away from your home. I’ll come to visit you…” Tora hugged him back, crying. “But…it won’t be the same than living with you…”

Ryouji took his face with his hands and wipped his tears before kissing him tenderly. During this time, they forgot the situation, just to enjoy this peaceful moment and hoping it would never stop…but when they broke the kiss, they were back to the reality.

“I want to hold you.”

“But…mom and…”

“I know…but I can’t hold on anymore. I want you.” Ryouji pressed his body against Tora’s and made him moved away to the bed. He pushed the blonde on his back and went on the top of him, stripping. Tora began to feel hot. He took his clothes off and wrapped his arms around Ryouji’s neck. He wanted him as much as him.

“I locked the door…” whispered Tora.

“Good.”

Ryouji kissed him again, searching Tora’s tongue with his, inside of his mouth. On the same time, he was rubbing his body against his. It wasn’t necessary to excite them, since they were already hard. Ryouji raised on his hands, arms outstretched, surrounding Tora’s body under him. He just needed to look at him. It would be probably the last time he would be his…

“Something is wrong?”

“No…”

“So…why are you looking at me this way?”

 _“Because you’re beautiful…”_ thought Ryouji silently. There was no way in hell he would say it out loud. “Shut up.”

He moved his head to the blonde’s chest, kissing his pale skin until he reached his bellybutton. He spread his legs widely and didn’t waste more time, sucking him. Tora covered his mouth with one hand to contain his moans.

“Grab the lube in the cupboard. Hurry!”

Tora nodded and took it. During this time, Ryouji continued to suck him, tasting Tora’s precome. Usually, he would never have swallowed it, but this time was different. Ryouji grabbed the lube in Tora’s hand and deposed some liquid on his finger before introducing in his entrance. He added another finger quickly after that. Seeing Tora restraining his voice excited him even more. But they also needed to be quiet, so he rose on his knees without removing his finger and touched Tora’s hair to make him turn his face. He grabbed his chin and kissed him, devouring literally his mouth with his.  

Tora didn’t close the eyes immediately. He wanted to keep this picture in his mind, erasing the ones he had when Ryouji was rough and brutal with him. But the lack of air and the delightful pleasure he was feeling made him suffocate. He couldn’t help to close his eyes, enjoying the kiss. Ryouji tasted alcohol and cigarette, but he didn’t mind at all.

The tall brunette stopped just to enter him and went back to his mouth, kissing his young lover. It was the only way to silent Tora’s moans taking pleasure on the same time. He felt his nephew gasping when he penetrated but just few seconds later, he was already rocking his hips against his, requesting more. Ryouji was lost in the bliss, forgetting his guilt, his sister and everything.

On the other side, Tora felt incredibly good. It was as if he was melting inside. He wanted more, more…he wanted to be fucked senseless to feel Ryouji inside of him. He wanted to scream. He became completely depraved having sex with him…he wasn’t this little and fragile boy anymore, but an animal.

The room was full of scents: semen, sweat, cigarette…but nothing could stop them. During the whole night, the two lovers made love passionately and bestially. They lost count how many times they came. But each time, they ended, they needed to do it again. It wasn’t enough…

 

* * *

 

Two days later.

Kaoru, Akira and Tora finished packing their belongings. It was the day to leave. Ryouji accompanied them to their new place. On the road, Tora didn’t say a word. He just fixed the city through the window. Even if he tried to fake being happy, he couldn’t. It was too much to ask. Kaoru noticed it and took Ryouji with her in the kitchen when they arrived.

“What’s wrong with Tora?”

 “How should I know?” replied Ryouji.

“He’s strange since I came back and it’s worse today. I thought he would have been happy to live with me again…”

“He’s probably having a little teenage existential crisis, that’s all.”

“No…it’s not his type. I wonder if he isn’t bothered by my relationship with Akira. Do you think I went too fast? I mean, I introduced them about few days ago and we’re gonna live under the same roof…”

“That’s not the problem. I’m sure he doesn’t dislike Akira.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I asked him how he found him and he said he was happy for you, so don’t start imagining shit like that.”

Kaoru didn’t seem to be convinced entirely. “Then, why is he like this? He never smiles or laughs. I don’t know what to do…”

“For God’s sake, Kaoru, just give him a break!” replied Ryouji upset. “If you really want to know, he broke up with his girl-friend and he’s a bit depressed lately. So stop wondering why he isn’t jumping with joy!”

His sister frowned. “What?? He had a girl-friend? Since when?”

“Dunno…he didn’t tell me more. Why are you so surprised anyway? He’s a good looking boy.”

“I know, but he’s so shy usually…”

“Yeah. Just give him more time…”

 

 

In his bedroom, Tora was cleaning the place and was preparing his bed.

“Tora-kun?”

“Oh, Akira-san! Can I help you?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing!”

“I see…” Tora chuckled. “I’m fine, thank you. I almost finished.”

The man fixed him, crossing his arms against his chest. “I suppose it’s a big change for you.”

“What?”

“I mean, living with your mother again and…with me.”

“No, no…it’s fine. I’m happy that mom met you.”

“Oh, really?” asked with irony Akira approaching. “You don’t seem happy at all, Tora-kun.”

The teenager noticed the sudden change on his tone and the way he moved closer. “I..i’m sorry if I gave you a wrong impression…”

“Then, why do you look so upset? Even your mother noticed it…”

“Oh…never mind. Teenagers’ problems…” tried to joke Tora.

Akira grinned. “Teenagers’ problems like…heart breaking?”

The boy blushed suddenly, clearly troubled by the question. “Sort of…”

“I see…wanna talk to me about this?”

“Thanks but I’m ok…”

“Come on, don’t be shy. Tell me.”

Tora moved back, a bit uncomfortable. “There’s not thing to say, you know? We...just broke, that’s all…”

“So sad…but maybe “he” wasn’t made for you?”

“Who knows?” But Tora quickly realized that Akira said “he” and not “she”. He looked at him and saw the smirk on his face. “Wh…what did you say?”

“I didn’t know you like them…older…” added Akira, grinning. “You’re full of surprises, Tora-kun…”

The blonde didn’t know what to think or what to say. He wondered what he meant and why he was staring at him with this perverted expression on his face. “I…I don’t know what you’re talking about, Akira-san…”

Kaoru’s call interrupted them. “Tora! Akira! Time for lunch!”

“We’re coming!” replied Akira. He fixed his attention on Tora again. “We’ll continue this conversation later.” Then, he walked away, letting the poor Tora with his fears and his questions.

 

 

 

At the end of the day, Ryouji went back to his home. He stayed with them during the whole day to help them. The goodbye with Tora had been particularly painful for the both of them. Tora almost cried which affected Ryouji. He used to like his crying face because it made him horny. But now, when he saw him cry, he recalled the day when he came back to home drunk and hurt him. He couldn’t support to see him in this state. In these moments, he just wanted to rush toward him and to hold him tightly, giving him comfort. Tora always needed to be reassured, to be treasured…and it was exactly what he never did during the time he was living with him under the same roof.

He pushed the door and entered in his apartment. The place was cold and silent. He hated this atmosphere, this silence. He went to the fridge to take a beer and sat on his sofa to watch the tv. But even with the sound of the tv, the place was still quiet…and depressing. It was as if there was no life, no joy anymore…

Ryouji became depressed and angry on the same time and turned off the tv before throwing the remote violently on the floor, almost breaking it.

“Shit!”

Ryouji took his head between his hands, fixing the floor, sadly. _“He’s gone…”_

Yes, Tora was gone. Now, he was living with his sister as before…as before he entered in Ryouji’s life, changing his whole existence and his way of life. But if he hurt the teenager in the past, it was Tora’s turn to break Ryouji’s heart…and he could feel how much it was painful.

 

* * *

 

During the first week, Tora visited Ryouji two times. But the brunette wasn’t at home. Actually, Ryouji was watching his nephew to protect him from Hyodo. Each time he was seeing Tora coming to his house, he contained himself to not go to see him. He always waited for his departure to come back home. Sometimes, Ryouji came late in the night, under Tora’s window. There were times he went to reassure himself that Tora was safe, but other times, it was just because he missed him and he needed to feel his presence.

Tora still had a key of Ryouji’s apartment, so he brought him meals. He knew his uncle was too lazy to cook and that he liked what Tora prepared. It was a way to keep a contact with him. Sometimes he sent him some messages with his cell phone. Most of the time, Ryouji didn’t reply. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to, but the tall man knew if he would start to answer, he wouldn’t be able to contain himself anymore and he would go immediately to see him. Things were over between them and they had to accept it. Tora wasn’t mad or disappointed. A part of him knew that Ryouji was trying to stay away from him on purpose to break up definitively. He knew he had to do the same thing to forget…but it was impossible.

He was so preoccupied by this that he began to fail on his exams, which worried his friend Shibuya. He questioned Tora about his lover but he swore that it was really over, so Shibuya believed him. Tora was just trying to erase his pain slowly, so he needed more time. Shibuya was still there to listen to him and to watch him, which reassured the little blonde. But even if he wasn’t alone with his mother and his friend, he couldn’t help to feel lonely. He wanted Ryouji and only Ryouji…

 

 

 

Three weeks later.

The cohabitation with Akira and his mother wasn’t difficult since nobody had the time to see each other. Akira and Kaoru worked a lot, late in the night, so most of the time, Tora was alone. Sometimes, he invited Shibuya for the dinner or he went outside with him. Other times, he visited Ryouji the days when he knew he didn’t work. Actually, Ryouji didn’t tell Tora that he got suspended, because he would have to explain why and to tell him that Hyodo escaped.

But to be sure to not have sex again with him, Ryouji always met Tora outside and never at his home. In the middle of the week, Tora didn’t have school in an afternoon, so he proposed Ryouji to have a drink, but the other man refused. A bit disappointed, Tora went back to home. He had nothing to do, and no desire either. When he arrived at his apartment, he saw Akira’s shoes in the entrance.

 

“Welcome home, Tora-kun.”

“Hi, Akira-san. I didn’t know you would come back to home so early.”

“Yeah…actually, I was supposed to meet a customer in the afternoon, but our appointment had been canceled, so I came back to home. Your mother will be there for the dinner.”

“Ok…I’m gonna prepare the food. Is there something particular you would like to eat?”

“I don’t mind. Everything would be fine.”

“Alright.”

 

Tora went to his bedroom and changed his clothes. Since he already finished his home works, he could occupy his mind cooking and cleaning the place, like he used to do when he was living with his mother. She always came back home late, so she didn’t have the time for the chores. 

The blonde arrived in the kitchen and opened the fridge. He decided to prepare some gyozas with ramens. He took the vegetables and the meat to start cooking. He didn’t hear Akira coming.

“Can I help you, Tora-kun?”

The blonde jumped with surprise. “Oh! Akira-san! You surprised me…”

“Sorry…I hope you didn’t hurt yourself with the knife?”

“Not, it’s alright.”

“Let me see your hands.” Akira grabbed Tora’s hands and observed it during a long moment. Tora began to feel uncomfortable when he noticed Akira was caressing his skin in a different way. “You know, your skin is really soft…”

Tora released himself, blushing, and went back to his cook. “Ah…I didn’t notice…”

But Akira stayed at his side, moving closer. “And…you smell good.” The man approached again, pressing his body against his. He started to rub himself against Tora, whispering to his ear. “You should feel lonely since you left Ryouji’s home, don’t you?”

Tora moved away, touching his ear, completely red. “You..you’re embarrassing, Akira-san…”

“Really? Do I make you uncomfortable?” he replied coming closer dangerously.

“Yes…no offence, but I don’t like to be touched…”

“It depends on who is concerned…”

“What are you talking about?” asked Tora on the defensive. He felt more and more anxious. He didn’t recognize the man he had in front of him. Actually, he didn’t really know Akira, but he trusted him since his mother was dating him.

“Oh please, Tora. Stop playing the prudish and the innocent school boy with me. It doesn’t work.”

The teenager became upset. “Don’t talk to me this way!”

Akira ran toward him and pinned him against the wall. “Or what? You’re just a slut! As long as you have a dick in your ass, you’re happy, right?”

The blonde was terrified. He recalled the time Hyodo and Kuroko had tried to abuse him. He was alone and defenseless…

“L..let..me go…” murmured Tora shaking.

“Don’t be afraid…I won’t hurt you. I’ll give you what you want…” he said viciously. “I will replace…Ryouji.” He added kissing him in the neck.

Tora blinked. “W..what??”

“Why are you so surprised? Did you really think I wouldn’t have noticed it?” replied the tall man. He looked for something in his pocket. “Next time, take the time to check if the door is correctly closed and locked…” he said showing him a picture in his cell phone.

The picture showed Tora and Ryouji kissing in the bedroom. He remembered this day and began to understand the difficult situation where he was.

“It would be a shame to let your mother see that…Imagine the consequences it could have on Ryouji’s career. I already see the news: “ _A cop abused his own nephew.”_  Or _“A detective under arrest for corruption of minor.”_ And I don’t talk about your reputation or your mother’s one after this scandal.”

“No…no, please!”

“You’ll break your family…you will put the shame on your name: Ryouji would be sent in prison and he would be disowned by your family, hated and humiliated by people and his colleagues; your mother would lose her job; you would disgust your friends…is that what you want?”

Tora stopped struggling. He was shaking hard. The tears were already coming to his eyes. “Please…”

“Everything could be so simple, Tora. It would be our secret…and our family would be still reunited. No one would know…”

Tora glared at him. “You’re not my family…”

“Not yet…but at the moment I would put my cock in your sweet ass, you’ll become mine.” Akira pulled Tora’s hair violently. “I hate people like you. You’re just a bitch who is playing the good son for his mama, but who spreads his legs with anyone! You even seduced your own uncle!”

“I’m not…”

“Yes, you are! You’re the sort of boy who tricks people seducing them. Don’t deny what you’re, Tora. Say it.” He told, touching Tora’s chest under his shirt.

“Le..let go..”

“Say it! Say you’re a slut!”

“No..no…I’m not..”

The man pinned him again forcibly to the wall and kissed him roughly. Tora tried to push him away but the man was taller and stronger than him. He was disgusted. The kiss tasted like hell. He wanted to vomit but he couldn’t release himself. To escape, Tora didn’t have any other choice to bit Akira’s lips with strength.

“Arg!” the man moved way, touching his lips.

Tora took this opportunity to run away. He reached the door quickly, grabbed his shoes and left the apartment without wasting more time, letting Akira alone. The man didn’t bother to follow him. He knew he wouldn’t run away eternally and he would come back. He knew he had an important thing to blackmail him…

 

 

Tora ran as fast as he could and without even notice it, he arrived at Ryouji’s home. He knocked and knocked at the door, but no one answered. He tried to calm down, breathing slowly to find oxygen again. After few minutes, he found his cool again. He sat near of the door and waited for Ryouji’s return, thinking about what he would say to him.

_“I can’t tell him or he would do something terrible…Akira blackmailed me. I can’t let him show the picture to mom or to the police…I would ruin Ryouji’s life…I can’t…”_

Tora started to cry, panicked and lost. He didn’t know what to do. Whatever he would choose, he would suffer.

 _“If I come back, he will rape me…and I don’t want this!”_ he pressed his legs against his chest to hold himself. _“But on the other side, I can’t let this happen…I can’t let people know about Ryouji and me…”_

The poor blonde stayed there two hours, waiting for his uncle’s return. _“When..when Ryouji would come back, he would help me…I can’t tell him, but I will know what I have to do…”_

 

He waited and waited, when he finally heard some steps, and a familiar voice.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Ryouji!!”

The brunette opened the door with his key and entered, throwing his vest on the sofa. “Didn’t I tell you to not come to my home?”

“I know but…I needed to see you.” Replied Tora, following him inside.

Ryouji kept his back on him. He didn’t want to see Tora, not today…never again. It was too hard and painful. He became angry.

_“Fucking brat! Twisting the knife in the wound coming to my house! I told him it was over but he still comes back!”_

“Go back to home.”

But Tora didn’t listen and hugged him from the back. He needed to feel secure, to be reassured…to be in Ryouji’s arms. But the other man didn’t get that and pushed him away.

“I told you to stop it!”

“Ryouji…I love you. Please! I need you.” Begged Tora.

“FOR GOD’S SAKE, LEAVE ME ALONE! DON’T YOU THINK IT’S ALREADY HARD ENOUGH? GET OUT!”

“Please…let me stay with you! I’ll tell to mom that I don’t want to be in the way between Akira and her. I will find a good excuse, I promise! Let me come back!”

Ryouji rolled his eyes and went to the door, dragging Tora by the arm. “Out!”

But the blonde struggled and moved away. “NO!”

His uncle pinned him against the wall and practically roared at him with fury. “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE??!!”

“Because I love you! I can’t forget you whatever I do, I can’t!!”

“That’s your problem, not mine!”

Tora took his chance and kissed Ryouji roughly since they were close. At the beginning, Ryouji tried to push him away, before renouncing and kissing him back. Tora wrapped his arms on his neck and enrolled his legs to his waist. There was no way he would let him go. There were so many days that he didn’t have seen and touched Ryouji. He missed him…terribly.

But after few minutes of pleasure and feeling his erection growing, Ryouji broke the kiss and pushed away Tora. “Stop.”

“Ryouji…please. Hold me. I miss you…”

The man walked away and took his keys on the little table at the entrance. “It’s already late. I’m gonna bring you to home.”

“No…I don’t wanna go. Please…Ryouji, I love you.”

His uncle sighted, keeping his back on him. Tora was holding his waist, pressing his head against his back. “I don’t love you.”

“Wh..what?”

 “You heard me.” Ryouji turned his back to him. “I know the sincerity of your feelings…but I don’t feel the same. I’m sorry.”

“B..but…”

“It was just for your body. Give it up. I’m no good for you.”

The teenager shook his head. “No…you’re lying. I know…I know you love me and…”

Ryouji put his hand on Tora’s head, stroking his hair gently. “Forgive me, Tora. But I never loved you…and I never will. I care about you because you’re my family, but I can’t return your feelings, so please, stop hurting yourself.”

Tora looked for in Ryouji’s eyes a sign which could betray his words…but his uncle had a good poker face. He could see some regrets and even some shame…but no sign of love.

“I’m sorry to have used your feelings this way, and to have hurt you that much. It was cruel…so you better stay away from me because I will hurt you again…and you don’t deserve it, Tora.”

Hearing these words, Tora gave up. He lost hope. Shibuya warned him he would break his heart and he would hurt him again…and he did. Their story was over…definitively.

“Let’s go. I’ll bring you back to home.”

Tora obeyed and followed him. During the road, he kept his head turned to the window, pressing his head against the cold surface. The rain started to fall. Tora’s tears were falling like the rain. He realized that he was wrong during all this time. Ryouji never loved him…and he never would. It was just lust, affection…but not love.

 

On the road, Ryouji heard Tora crying. He knew it was cruel to have said that, but it was for his own good. He knew deep inside he wasn’t someone good enough for Tora. Besides, he wouldn’t be able to protect him correctly keeping him by his side knowing Hyodo free. But strangely, he was feeling as bad as Tora was. Cutting ties with him was more difficult that he could have imagined…being alone again was his wish before, but now, it was his punishment.

 

They arrived at Tora’s house. Ryouji saw the light at their apartment from his spot. He understood Kaoru or Akira came back. To be sure that Tora wouldn’t risk anything, he accompanied to his door.

“Do you have your keys?” asked Ryouji.

But Tora kept his head down and didn’t reply. Ryouji sighted and rang the bell. After few seconds, Akira came to open.

“Kase-san!”

“Hi. Tora came to my house to say hello, so I brought him back to home. I think he forgot his keys.”

Akira understood quickly hearing Kase speaking that Tora didn’t say anything about their altercation, so he faked as if nothing happened.

“Ok. Never mind. Would you come in?”

“No thanks. I’m gonna go.” Tora entered and walked toward the kitchen without turning back. “Is everything alright with Tora?”

“I don’t know…I’ve tried to talk with him. I noticed he seemed to be a bit depressed lately…but he’s shy.”

“Yeah…” Kase frowned when he saw the bruise on Akira’s lip. “What happened to your lip?”

“Huh?”

“You’re bleeding.”

“Ah! It’s nothing serious, don’t worry. I’ve tried to open something with my teeth but I hurt myself. It ripped on my lip and cut it.”

“I see…Kaoru isn’t there?”

“No. She told me she had a meeting tonight so she won’t come back for the dinner as she thought.”

“Ok. I’m leaving. See you.”

“Bye, Kase-san!”

 

 

Akira closed the door behind him and turned around to look for Tora who was still in the kitchen.

“I knew it.” He walked toward the kitchen slowly. “I knew you would have come to see him…but I’m surprised you didn’t tell him anything.”

“…”

“What happened? Did he reject you?” he asked smirking. “What did you think you were doing, Tora? Do you really want to ruin your family’s life?”

“…”

“You’re just a fucking slut! Such a shame for your mother. I can’t believe that such a wonderful woman could have given birth to someone like you…someone who even seduced his uncle to satisfy his sick desires…and you dare playing the victim?”

“…”

Akira was now behind him, ready to jump on his slender body. Tora kept his back on him, remaining silent.

“I proposed you a generous offer which would satisfy the both of us…and you ran away to see your beloved uncle. Did you make up your mind?”

He put his hand on Tora’s shoulder but the teenager turned around quickly and pointed a carving knife on him.

“If you touch me, you’re dead.”

Akira laughed at him. “Whoa…easy, easy, Darling! No need to get angry…” he replied raising his hands above his head.

“My life is already ruined…but I will never let you hurt my family.” Said Tora keeping his distances without putting down the knife.

“Then, just be mine and everything would be alright.”

“I’m not a slut…I love Ryouji.”

“It doesn’t seem to be reciprocal…”

“It doesn’t matter. I won’t let you ruin his life or mom’s one.”

“And tell me…how are you gonna do this?”

“…” Tora didn’t know what to do. He refused to let him abuse him, but on the other side, he knew he was in trouble with this evidence.

Akira took the opportunity that Tora was distracted to take his knife and kicked him in the stomach. Tora fell on his knees, coughing.

“Arg…”

“You…imbecile!” Akira hit him again on the stomach with his foot. But he had been careful to not make bruise on his face.

“y…you..basta..rd…”

“Such a rebellious kid you are, Tora-kun! I think you need to be punished for that…” He grabbed the poor teenager by the hair and dragged him to the bedroom.

“Ah! Let me g..go! it..h..urts..” struggled Tora.

But the other man grip’s was tighter. Tora didn’t succeed to free himself. Akira threw him roughly on the bed and jumped on him.

“You’re gonna love it! Don’t worry, I’ll make you forget Ryouji really soon…” he completely ripped his clothes to expose his chest.

Tora continued to struggle and hit his face with his elbow, which made Akira angry.

“What a bad boy…” the guy hit his stomach again and caught his genitals with his hand, squeezing it. On the same time, he removed his belt.

“Le..let go!”

He attached the belt around Tora’s wrists and continued to strip him.

“Please…not that..please..”

“Nice music to my ear…beg me. Beg me..” sneered the man sadistically.

“Please…” cried Tora. “I’ll do anything…but please..not that..”

Akira stayed on the top of him, caressing his chest and pinching his nipples with lust. Tora looked gorgeous…

“I’m sure you will…” he moved closer to his ear and whispered. “But unfortunately, you have nothing to offer…except your body.”

“NO!!” began to shout Tora to call help but Akira shut him up with his hand. He grabbed his underwear with his other hand and pushed in Tora’s mouth to silent him.

“No one will come to save you. Now, be good and I promise to be gentle.”

“Mghh..le..megh..let..g..” No sound could be heard. There was no one to hear it anyway. Tora was left to his own devices.

_“Ryouji…please. Come..come back please. I need you…” was praying Tora. It already happened before when Hyodo kidnapped him._

_“Save me…please. Ryouji. Help me…”_

_At this time, Ryouji came from nowhere. He arrived just in time to stop Hyodo to abuse him. He had saved him, probably from death, so there was no doubt he would come to rescue him._

_“Ryouji…please. Hurry…hurry up…”_

_But time passed. Akira enjoyed to have fun with him, ravishing his body. The humiliation was as worse as the pain he was giving to him, fucking him senseless. But despite of that, Tora kept faith…he kept faith in Ryouji, hoping desperately that he would come to rescue him. But when he felt something cold inside of him and leaking along his leg, he understood Akira came inside of him…it was too late, now. His body was soiled forever…_

_The poor blonde stopped resisting. Akira continued to rape him constantly until he had enough, completely satisfied._

_“That was pretty good…I understand why Ryouji couldn’t have resisted to you…”_

_Tora’s soul was already far away, lost in the despair. He couldn’t feel anything anymore except pain…and disillusion. He had cried so much that everything seemed to be blurred around him. He finally fainted, exhausted and desperate, wondering why Ryouji didn’t come to save him._

_“I waited for you…I believed you would come to save me…but you never came. Ryouji…”_


	9. Brought in the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave a first name to Hirose...since i couldn't find it reading the manga i created one. If you know what it is, tell me, i'll correct it. See you

When Akira finished satisfying himself with Tora’s body, he went to the bathroom to take a shower. He couldn’t even believe he had done that. He wasn’t attracted by men and definitely not by young boys. It was true that Tora was pretty cute. But it wasn’t for this he had reacted this way toward him. It reminded him something he almost forgot…a painful memory. It brought him back when he was fifteen.

 

_At the end of the day, the young Akira came to home as every day. He was living with his parents in a peaceful neighborhood. His father was a literature teacher at the local college. His mother was secretary in a doctor’s office. It was a simple and happy life. The family never had any problems and everyone in the neighborhood liked them…until this day._

_“I’m home.” Said Akira coming to his house. But nobody answered him. His mother was arguing with his father. He approached, wondering what was wrong._

_“How could you have done this to me? Did you ever think about the consequences for us??” yelled his mother._

_“Honey, please…I can explain you everything…”_

_“Don’t touch me! You disgust me!!”_

_Akira froze, worried. He never had seen his parents fighting this way before. “Mom, Dad…what’s wrong?”_

_They turned around to see him. “Go to your bedroom, Aki.” Said his mother, wiping_ _her tears._

_“But…”_

_“Do what your mother said, son.” Added his father._

_Akira didn’t insist and went upstairs. But he didn’t go to his bedroom. He stayed on the top of the stairs to listen to them. When his parents thought he left, they continued their discussion._

_“Darling, I swear she means nothing for me…please…”_

_“So why did you do that? She is the same age as your own son!”_

_“I know…but…”_

_“BUT WHAT? Don’t you understand our situation? You disgraced our family! How am I supposed to face our neighbors? My colleagues? And I even don’t talk about people in your college!”_

_Akira’s father kept his head down._

_“I…I’m so ashamed…How could you have done that with this girl?”_

_“Darling…”_

_“Get out. I don’t want to see you again.”_

_“But…”_

_“I SAID GET OUT!!” she shouted with fury, throwing his vest on his face._

_The poor man sighted and left the house. He knew he destroyed their family and there was nothing he could do anymore._

_From his spot, Akira heard everything. He understood his parents would probably divorce…but he didn’t get why. It seemed to be related to a fifteen years old girl, probably a student in his father’s college, but he didn’t know much more._

_This evening, his mother went to her bedroom without eating. She prepared something for her son and told him she was tired. Akira understood he better not ask her what happened with his dad and where he went. She was already down, he didn’t want to insist. She promised to explain him everything later, so he waited._

 

_But Akira didn’t need to hear any explanation from his mother that he heard neighbors talking about it the next day, when he went to school._

_“Did you hear about Sokomi-san?”_

_“No. What happened?”_

_“I heard he had been caught in his college with a fifteen years old girl in his office…”_

_“Oh my God!”_

_“Yes, that’s disgusting! I mean…abusing the innocence of a young girl this way…”_

_“Did he rape her?”_

_“He swore she trapped him, but you know, in this sort of situation, people would say anything to defend themselves…”_

_“Dear…such a shame for his wife and his son.”_

_“Yes. What a waste…I thought he was a respectable man…”_

_Akira couldn’t believe in that. His father? With a student? No! It was impossible._

 

_He didn’t waste more time and ran as fast as he could toward his father’s college. When he arrived there, he went straightly to his office. His father was there, packing his things. He had been fired because of the scandal._

_“Aki?”_

_The kid was breathing heavily. “Is..is that true?”_

_“What?”_

_“You..you raped a girl? Tell me…tell me this is wrong!”_

_“Aki, it’s not what you think!”_

_“Tell me they lied! Tell me you didn’t do it!”_

_“I swear I didn’t rape her…” his father approached and held his son by the arms._

_“So what happened? Tell me! Did you cheat on Mom?”_

_He looked down, ashamed. “I…made a terrible mistake. This girl…she always came to my office to seduce me…I rejected her, more than once, but she kept coming to see me…repeating that she loved me, again and again…I..I cracked, that’s true. We did it…and we have been caught by a colleague of mine…”_

_“No…tell me this is a lie…”_

_“I recognized my fault, but to defend herself, she said I forced her to have sex. I promise I never raped her, I swear, Aki! You have to believe in me!”_

_Akira pushed him away, disgusted. “You…pervert! How could you have done that to Mom??”_

_“Aki…I swear I regret it! I would do anything to go back in the past. Please, don’t hate me, I need you…”_

_“Don’t you dare touch me! You disgust me!! I hate you!!” the kid ran away, crying. His father tried to hold him, calling him._

_“Aki! Wait!”But the boy was already far. The man, completely devastated fell on his knees. He ruined his reputation, his career; broke his marriage and his family…and his own son hated him. He lost everything, just because of this mistake…_

_Akira skipped school this day. He was completely disoriented. He didn’t have the courage to face his friends, his neighbors or anyone. He was ashamed because of his father. He began to realize that his life would never be the same anymore…because of this bitch. Even if his father didn’t abuse her, it was the same result. It changed nothing._

 

_He came back late at his home. When he arrived, his mother was crying…again. But she wasn’t alone. Some people he didn’t know were also there to comfort her. When they saw Akira, they moved closer, smiling with compassion._

_“You’re probably Akira-kun, right?” asked a man._

_“Who are you?”_

_“You…you should sit, boy. We have something important to tell you.”_

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“Sit down first, please.”_

_“Don’t tell me what I should do and spit it out!!”_

_The man kept his calm, understanding the boy’s reaction. “It’s about your father…”_

_“I already know what he did with this girl, thanks!!” he said before letting the man finish his sentence._

_“It’s not about that, Akira-kun…”_

_“What?”_

_The man took a large breath before saying the terrible truth.”Your father…committed suicide. He jumped in front of a train…I’m sorry.”_

_Few days later, Akira and his mother left the city. After the scandal and his father’s suicide, it had been too hard for them to support people’s looks and gossips on their family. Akira never talked about this with his mother. This moment of their life became a taboo…but deep inside, Akira felt guilty to have broken his father’s heart. When he came to his office, he blamed him for his mistakes without even have letting him the time to explain everything; he just blamed him…he didn’t realize that his father needed support at this moment, and he felt guilty. He wondered if it wasn’t because of him that he committed suicide. Each time he thought about his father, he remembered that the last words he told him were “I hate you.” With the time, Akira had forgiven to his father but not to himself. But more than anything, he hated and blamed the girl who had seduced him. He considered her as responsible of their misery. She continued her life after that as if nothing happened when Akira lost his father and had to leave the city. It was unfair and he never accepted it._

_His mother found love again with another man, one year later. She married him and the man went to live with them. Akira took his name, abandoning his father’s one, Sokomi, for Mitsurugi. A part of him was ashamed about his father’s name…but it was also to turn the page. Wearing a new name was a way to erase the past…or at least to forget._

 

 

So many years later, this memory came back to haunt him. Seeing Tora with Ryouji reminded him this part of his life. He didn’t see Tora…but this girl who broke his family with her insistence to seduce his father. It was a different context…but not for Akira. Punishing Tora like this was just a way to run after his past. He never grieved for his father. He made Tora pay at this girl’s place for what she did to his family…even if the poor blonde never have done anything to him and didn’t deserve it.

 _“Fucking slut…he is like her anyway. Why should I feel guilty? He deserved it!”_ thought Akira, still in the shower.

He really loved Kaoru and didn’t want to see her suffering…even if he was hurting her son. He hated Tora. It was true that it wasn’t his business if he had an affair with his uncle, but Ryouji was also Kaoru’s brother. If she would discover it, it would break her and put the shame on her. It was already done now, but Akira thought Tora had to pay for that, by the same way he used to corrupt his uncle, by sex. It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t bring his father back, but the hatred and the anger he kept for the girl who broke his parents’ life had to be released on someone…and it was down to Tora. He had no intention to do it again…once had been enough to make Tora realize his fault. This way, he would give up on Ryouji and wouldn’t cause troubles to his mother.

 

On the other side, Tora had been broken. It wasn't just because he had been raped…but also and above all because he had been abandoned by Ryouji. He waited to be rescued, as he had been saved when Hyodo tried to abuse him, but no one came. No one…

 _“I’m an idiot…always counting on the others to help me…”_ said Tora to himself.

He tried to get up, but his hips hurt. He could feel the semen leaking along his leg. His inside was burning. He tried to overcome the pain but fell lamentably on his knees. He began to cry, curling on a ball.

 _“Why…what have I done to be so humiliated? Do I really deserve it?”_ he asked to himself.

He cried and cried again, wondering all the night why he had to be punished so hard and what he had done wrong. In the same day, he had been rejected by the man he loved and raped by his future stepfather. His life couldn’t be worse than that…

He closed his heart and gave up on everything. Nothing mattered anymore. The little dignity he had left vanished tonight. Now, he expected nothing from anyone. He just wanted to be released from this torment, from this pain…from everything.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Tora left early, before his mother or Akira woke up. He didn’t want to see or to talk with them, especially with Akira. It was impossible to fake as if nothing happened yesterday, playing this role in front of his mother. No, he couldn’t. His body still hurt and he even couldn’t walk normally.

On his way, he didn’t look around him, keeping his head down. His eyes were red after had cried the whole night. He felt dirty and soiled, even if he had showered. Akira’s scent on his body didn’t disappear. He could remember his look of lust, his taste…and it disgusted him. Recalling about the previous night made him sick and he ran toward the first garbage can to vomit. He was feeling really weak. The pain and the lack of food was a bit too much for his slight body. After few minutes to rest, he continued his road. It was really early, so he couldn’t go to his school now. He sat on the first bench on his road and took a large breath. There was nothing to help him to relax. His body was still in pain and tense. He was freezing from the inside even if the weather was pretty good, and he was burning from the parts of his body that Akira touched.

 _“I feel bad…”_ he said to himself. “ _I can’t stop shaking…the pain doesn’t want to disappear…”_ Tora was desperate. He was completely lost in despair. He needed somebody to help him, but there was no one to ask.

He got up and walked again without looking where he was going. He didn’t care. He just needed to run away, but where to go? What for? He couldn’t escape from the reality. He didn’t notice he arrived at the train station. He was walking straight ahead. Some people in a hurry pushed him on their way and apologized. But Tora didn’t hear anything. He was focused on nothing. The time stopped. A train was coming. He continued to walk straight ahead.

_“The pain won’t go…”_

He approached from the rail like a zombie, ignoring the world around him. _“I want to end this…the pain…it has to stop…”_

The train was coming fast and nobody noticed that the poor blonde approaching the rails. Everybody was focused on their own business, in their cell phone or talking to see Tora’s despair who was ready to commit the irreversible…

“Tora-kun!” A strong hand dragged the boy far away from the rails.

A familiar voice called him and brought him back to the reality. But when he felt the touch on his shoulder, Tora had been caught by the panic and pushed him away.

“Easy! It’s just me! Hirose!”

Tora moved away, shaking. The train passed and left the station few seconds later.

“Are you ok? You look sick…” asked Hirose, worried.

“Hirose-san…sorry. I…I didn’t know it was you…”

“I knew it was you! At the beginning, I thought it couldn’t be you at this hour and in this place since you didn’t take the train usually to go to school…but what are you doing here so early?”

Tora didn’t reply, still recovering from his surprise. Hirose noticed the teenager didn’t seem to feel very well.

“Tora-kun? Why are you shaking? Do you have fever?” asked Hirose. He was about to touch his forehead but the blonde panicked again and slapped his hand before he touched him. Hirose moved back rubbing his hand softly. “Tora-kun?”

“So..sorry!” the boy turned around and ran away quickly.

“Hey! Wait! Tora-kun!”

But he didn’t listen. Despite the pain, Tora was running fast. He wanted to escape from questions, suspicions and all…he just wanted to be alone.

Hirose was chasing after him, worrying for him. “Tora-kun! Wait!”

But it was useless. The kid ran so fast that Hirose lost him few minutes later. He put his hands on his hips to find air again. “What’s wrong with him?”

 

He didn’t make two steps that he had been assault by someone from behind.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM AGAIN??”

He recognized the voice immediately. “Shibuya-kun?!”

“ANSWER ME!!”

“What are you talking about?! And let me go! It hurts!!”

“I just saw Tora running away and you were chasing after him! What did you do??”

“Nothing! I met him at the station and…”

“Tora never takes the train! He doesn’t need it to go to school or to the city!! What was he doing here if it wasn’t for you??”

“No, you misunderstood Shibuya-kun! I took the train and I met Tora-kun there; I came to ask him what he was doing here at this hour…and he seemed to be sick. He ran away when I asked him what was wrong and…”

“Liar! I knew it! I knew you two were still together! Tora swore he broke up with you and everything was over, but I knew he lied to me!!”

“I told you I’m not his lover!!”

“Liar! You perverted bastard!!” Shibuya was about to punch him when Hirose released himself and grabbed his pepper spray.

“That’s it! If you move, I won’t hesitate to use it!”

Shibuya calmed down, still glaring at him. Hirose moved back, still holding the spray in his direction. He arranged his clothes and found his cool again.

“Hitting an officer of the law is an offence. I could arrest you for this.”

“Abusing sexually and treating a teenager as you do is a crime. Compared to you, my offence is insignificant.”

 Hirose rolled his eyes, extremely exasperated. “For the last time, I’m not his lover!!”

“You’re just a bloody coward!”

“I’ve nothing to justify to you. If you don’t believe me, why don’t you ask it directly to him?”

“I know he would lie to me…to protect you.”

The man sighted. “I’ve done nothing to Tora-kun. I know who the man you’re talking about is…and I also know that their relationship is more complicated than you can imagine. It’s over between them, so stop messing around with it.”

“Then, if it’s not you, who is it?”

“That’s Tora’s choice to tell you or not.” Hirose had enough to hear his reproaches and to justify, so he walked away, letting Shibuya with his interrogations.

“Liar…” whispered Shibuya before going to school. At the lunch he would talk with Tora and he would tell him everything.  

But unfortunately for him, Tora skipped school. Shibuya tried to call him several times on his cell phone but he never answered, which worried him even more. “Tora…if you don’t talk to me, how am I supposed to help you?”

 

* * *

 

The blonde hanged out all the day in the city. The cops who were supposed to watch him didn’t see him leaving since he left his apartment early. Ryouji was also in the same situation and started to worry when he hadn’t seen him coming to school. He took his cell phone and tried to call him but each time he tried, he heard his voice mail. He let him several messages, but Tora never called back.

Everybody tried to call Tora all the day: Shibuya, Ryouji, his mother and even his school’s director. But he turned off his phone. He went to a park and stayed all the day there, alone, without eating. Ryouji looked for him in the whole city during all the day, but didn’t find him. With Hyodo free, Tora was in danger and he feared that something happened to him. He decided to call his sister.

_“Hello?”_

“Kaoru? Ryouji’s speaking. Did you see Tora this morning?”

_“Ryouji! I was about to call you! The director of his school called me. Tora skipped school this morning and he left the apartment before we woke up. I’ve tried to call him but he didn’t answer…”_

“Yeah, I tried too. I’m looking for him. Hirose told me he saw Tora this morning early near of the train station.”

_“The train station you said? But what was he doing there?”_

“I don’t know. Hirose told me he looked sick…”

_“Ryouji, I’m so worried…what can I do?”_

“Just call me if he comes back to home. I’ll continue my researches.”

_“Ok. Thank you.”_

“Bye.” He hung up the phone and went back in his car. “Fuck! Where the hell is he??”

 

But despite of his perseverance, Ryouji didn’t find Tora. Now, he was certain that Hyodo was behind his disappearance and was determinate to find him. But at the end of the day, he received a call from his sister.

“Hello?”

_“Ryouji? Tora came back to home.”_

“Really? Where was he?”

_“He told me he skipped school. He wasn’t feeling well. I suppose it was because of his recent break-up…”_

Ryouji sighted with relief. “ _Thanks God, he’s safe_!” He thought silently. “Don’t be too rude with him, please.”

_“Don’t worry, I understand. But he’s really depressed lately and I don’t know what I should tell him…”_

“It’s just a question of time.”

_“I know…”_

“What is he doing right now?”

_“He’s in his bedroom. He told me he wanted to be alone…”_

“Ok. Don’t insist and let him rest. He will feel better soon, don’t worry.”

_“Yes, you’re right. Thanks for your help.”_

 “Call me if there’s a problem.”

_“Sure. Tell me, are you busy tomorrow morning? I’ve a meeting at 10 o’clock with a client, near of your home. I can come sooner to have a drink with you; what do you think about it?”_

“Ok. Let’s meet at the Sky’s pub, at 9.”

_“Great! See you tomorrow.”_

“Bye, sis.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Kaoru decided to bring Tora to school with her car. She wanted to be sure he wouldn’t skip class again. On the road, she tried everything to make him talk but her son didn’t pronounce a word. He kept this sad expression on his face, remaining silent. He said goodbye to his mother and left. She waited until he finally passed the entrance of the school to leave.

Ryouji was also there, to watch him. When he saw him going with the other students, he left to be on time for his meeting with his sister. He already knew what she would say to him and why she wanted to see him. He arrived at the Sky’s pub in advance and ordered a coffee.

 

On her road, Kaoru met a familiar face. After had closed her car, she went after the boy. “Excuse-me…Shibuya-kun?”

The boy turned around. “Oh? You’re Tora’s mother, right?”

“Yes. Long time no see. How are you?”

“Happy to see you again, miss. Tora told me you came back from New-York?”

“Yes. I got a promotion there but the project I was supposed to supervise stopped so I returned.”

“I see. Welcome back to Japan.”

“Thank you. So? What about you? How is school?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“Did you already choose your way? Will you go to the university?”

“I haven’t chosen yet. There’re so many things I’d like to do that I need more time to decide…”

She laughed. “Yeah…Tora said the same thing when I asked him.” She looked preoccupied. “Shibuya-kun, I know you and Tora are really close, so I wondered if you could help me. He looks really depressed lately…”

“Yeah, I noticed. I’ve tried to call him yesterday but he didn’t answer; he even didn’t call me back. Is he ok?”

“Yes. Thanks for asking. He skipped school yesterday to rest a bit and he didn’t tell me. I’ve tried to call him too yesterday but I suppose he just turned his cell phone off.”

“That’s what I thought…”

“Tell me. I heard he had a girl-friend and they broke recently. Is that true?”

Shibuya blinked, blushing. “Who…told you that?”

“Well, my fiancé asked him what was wrong and he told him. My brother told me the same thing so…”

 _“Oh God! Don’t tell me his uncle knew about Tora and Hirose???”_ wondered Shibuya, disoriented.

“Shibuya?”

“What? Sorry! I...was lost in my own thoughts. What did you say?”

“I asked you if it was true that Tora had a girl-friend and if they broke.”

“Oh, yes…but to tell you the truth, he just told me about her. I never met her personally.”

“Ah? I supposed she was from the same school?”

“No…as I told you I don’t know her.”

“Ah…but did he tell you what happened between them?”

Shibuya didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t tell that the girl-friend Tora dated was actually a man and an older one, so he said the best lie he could find.

“Well, you know, she didn’t take their relationship seriously. Tora really loved her and I think he still loves her…but she didn’t care about him, so she dumped him…”

She sighted, sadly. “Poor Tora…it really broke him. I hate to see him this way.”

“Yeah, me too. But he didn’t want to talk about this, even to me…” he looked at his watch. “I’m sorry but I really have to go…”

“Of course! Sorry, to have kept you that long.”

“It’s ok. Well, have a nice day.”

Shibuya was about to leave when Kaoru called him. “Just a minute, Shibuya-kun. You didn’t forget it’s Tora’s birthday in two days, right?”

“No I didn’t. I even already bought his present.”

“Thank you. I want to organize a little party to cheer him up. Would you like to join us?”

“Sure!”

“Great! Can you join us Friday afternoon, after school?”

“Yes. I finish class before Tora this day, so I could help you this way.”

“Your help is welcome. Ok, I count on you for Friday?”

“With pleasure! Bye!”

“Bye Shibuya-kun. Have a nice day.”

 

 

They slipped and Kaoru joined her brother at the pub as it was planned.

“Hi. Am I in late?”

“No, I arrived ten minutes ago.”

“Fine.” She sat and the waitress came to take the order. “A lemon tea please.”

“Yes, miss.”

When the waitress moved away, they began to speak. “So? How is Tora?”

“Still depressed. He didn’t eat anything last evening for the dinner and he barely ate some rice this morning before leaving for school…”

 Kaoru’s order arrived. She took her cup of tea between her hands to cool it. “You know, I’ve just met his friend Shibuya on my way. He told me the girl that Tora dated didn’t take their relationship seriously and dumped him. I suppose she was uncomfortable to see that he was serious about her…”

Ryouji looked away, a bit ashamed but also annoyed. _“Fuck…he even talked about this with his friend. I hope he didn’t tell him everything…”_

“What a bitch! If I meet her, I would make regret to have hurt Tora!”

Being actually this “bitch”, Ryouji didn’t really take it well but he controlled his frustration and tried to calm his sister. “You know how teens are…we weren’t different at their age, and even being older, we still do the same thing.”

“I know…but it doesn’t mean that I have to accept it. “

“I understand. So? Was it to talk about Tora that you wanted to see me?”

“What? I have the right to want to see my little brother, don’t i?”

“Don’t call me little!”

She chuckled. “You’re so sensitive!” She drank some tea before continuing.

 

She was about to talk when they were interrupted by Hirose. “Hi Sempai!”

“What are you doing here?”

“Momoto asked me to meet him here to give him some documents and I saw you…” he turned his attention on Kaoru. “Oh…I’m sorry, Miss…”

“Don’t. I’m just his older sister.” She held her hand. “I’m Kaoru Teshima. Nice to meet you.”

“Oh! You’re Tora’s mother? Pleased to meet you Miss. I’m Hirose Miyagi.”

“Do you know Tora?”

“Yes. I met him at Sempai’s house. He’s a really good cooker.”

Kaoru thought some seconds. “Oh…is that you who said to Ryouji that you saw Tora at the station yesterday?”

“Yes…”

“I see. Well, thanks for your help. He didn’t tell you what he was doing at the station?”

“No, Miss…”

“Call me Kaoru.”

“Ok. Then, call me Hirose.”

“Fine. Thanks again for your help, Hirose. I know Tora isn’t really joyful lately…” She looked at Ryouji. “That’s what I wanted to ask you: it’s his birthday in two days and I want to organize a little party. I already invited Shibuya. I’d like you come too.” She gave a glance to Hirose. “You too Hirose. Join us please. I hope you don’t have plans for Friday evening?”

“I don’t, but…you should celebrate it with the family. I’m just Sempai’s colleague…” replied Hirose. In fact, he didn’t want to meet Shibuya there.

“No, no, please. I insist! Come. You too, Ryouji.”

“I don’t think Tora would like this party. He’s not in the mood for this…” explained Ryouji, but his sister didn’t listen.

“Don’t try to find an excuse to not come. You two are expected Friday and don’t you dare missing it or I swear you will regret it!” she replied with authority. She looked at her watch and blinked. “Damn! I’m gonna be in late for my meeting! I have to go! Well, see you Friday, guys!”

“Kaoru, wait…” but she left quickly without letting the time to Hirose or Ryouji to protest. The two men looked each other. “You can sit since she left…bloody bitch! Always imposing me her conditions…” complained Ryouji.

“You two look pretty similar…” laughed Hirose.

“What??”

“Nothing! I said nothing!”

“I prefer that!” The tall brunette sighted. “I don’t wanna go Friday…Tora would be even more depressed seeing me…”

“I know…but your sister would suspect something if you don’t go…”

“Yeah…whatever. Do you have news about Hyodo?”

“Nothing. We searched everywhere…”

“Shit…where the fuck he is?”

 

* * *

 

Two days later.

At the end of the day, Tora was cleaning the warehouse at this school. It was his day of chores. His body still hurt, even after three days. The pain didn’t want to disappear. The shame was killing him softly a little more each passing day. The boy lost his joy. He avoided his friend Shibuya, didn’t answer to his calls but just sent some messages saying he was fine to reassure him. He avoided his mother and always came to home later to not being alone with Akira again. He wanted to run away from his family, his friends, from his aggressor, and even from Ryouji. A part of him still loved him but another one felt betrayed. It was as if Ryouji let him fall in Akira’s hands this night, when he rejected him and brought him back to home. Of course he couldn’t have known and he would have protected him if only Tora had told him…but it didn’t change anything and it didn’t matter anyway.

When he finished, he left school to come back to home. His mother sent him a message saying that she came back early today so he didn’t waste his time in the city as he used to do.

“ _Well, I hope Mom won’t ask me what is wrong with me again…I’m tired to justify all the time…”_ he said to himself on the road. “ _What am I supposed to do? I’ve nowhere to go now since it’s over with Ryouji. I don’t want to see him again anyway. I lost enough time to hope for nothing…”_

The tears were already coming to his eyes but he wiped it before it could fall. “ _No. That’s enough. I won’t cry. I don’t need him…_ ” But Tora knew he was just lying to himself pretending that. “ _Even if I need him, he doesn’t love me…I won’t knock to his door again. He slammed it to my face more than once and I always came back like an idiot…but not this time. It’s too late now anyway…”_

 

He arrived in front of his house. He took a large breath and entered. But he even didn’t close the door entirely that he had been welcomed by confetti and clapping hands.

“Happy birthday Tora!” said with joy Kaoru and Shibuya.

Tora had been caught by the surprise. He wiped the confetti on his head and his shoulders before remembering what day it was today.

“Oh…I forgot it was my birthday. Thank you…”

“I can guess! Fortunately we thought about this at your place!” replied his mother. “Come in! Let’s join the others in the living room.”

Tora frowned. “The..others?”

“Yeah! I invited your uncle and Hirose. Akira is with them.”

Tora rolled his eyes mentally. “ _Ryouji was the last person in the world I wanted to see right now. Thanks mom!”_ he cursed silently.

Shibuya noticed his expression but said nothing. He supposed it was due to Hirose’s presence but he didn’t want to ruin the party his mother organized. It wasn't his role anyway to say it out loud.

When they joined them, Ryouji was sat on the floor, drinking a beer with Hirose and Akira. They got up to wish him happy birthday. Tora glared at Akira with disgust, but also at Ryouji with anger. Their presence wasn’t welcomed…

“Let’s celebrate! I prepared your favorite meals today for you, Tora.” Said Kaoru.

“Thanks, Mom.”

 

The little group began to eat in a strange atmosphere. Shibuya was glaring at Hirose still thinking he was Tora’s lover; Hirose was uncomfortable because of Shibuya’s constant look and about the situation between Ryouji and Tora; Ryouji wasn’t at ease to be there because he knew he was hurting Tora with his presence; and Akira took a delightful pleasure to see the two former lovers facing each other. He especially liked to see Tora suffering to share his home and this special day with him after he abused him the last night. Akira never had been a sadist, but the events with his father in the past, changed him. Looking at Tora, he was seeing this teen who broke his family…it was as if he took his revenge…

 In this mess, Tora’s mother didn’t really notice it. She just stayed focused on her son who seemed to not enjoy this little reunion. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea after all? Ryouji warned her but she couldn’t stay like this without doing anything to help her son to get better.

“So…how was school today?” she asked to light the atmosphere.

“Fine…as always.” Replied Tora without enthusiasm.

Ryouji didn’t support this situation. He knew Kaoru was disappointed to see the lack of joy in Tora’s attitude for this party she took the time to organize. He had enough to see Tora acting as a victim and wanted to make him stronger.

“Your mother and Shibuya worked hard to organize this party for your birthday. You could at least be thankful and smile a little bit.” Complained Ryouji to Tora without even looking at him.

This remark particularly irritated Tora who slammed his fists on the table with anger. _“That’s it! He treated me like a shit, he let his bastard abusing me and he even dares tell me the way I should act??”_ thought Tora, furious.

Everyone froze, surprised by Tora’s attitude and violence.

“T..Tora?” asked his mother.

"Sorry." The teenager realized he couldn’t explode in front of everyone this way or the scandal would be devastating for his family. He was suffocating: having all these people (his mother, his friend, Hirose, his rapist and his former lover) around him in the same place was unbearable. He needed air…He got up and ran toward the door, grabbing his shoes on his way without wasting any time to put it first.

“Tora! Wait!” called his mother who tried to follow him. But Ryouji stopped her.

“Leave this to me. I’ll talk to him.”

“But…”

“Trust me.” He left the house, running after Tora. The rest of the group stayed there, keeping silent, a bit embarrassed by the situation. Shibuya glared at Hirose. His eyes seemed to tell him “this is your fault.” The other man tried to ignore it…but it was painful to be seen this way, especially when he has done nothing wrong.

 

Outside, Tora was running like a rocket. He didn’t know where to go. He just needed to run away from this place. But he heard Ryouji calling him.

“Tora! Wait!”

Hearing him made him increase the speed. He refused to talk with him. He would cry and the other man would say he was weak, he would insult him again and again…and there was no way he would listen to him anymore. He already hurt him enough. He couldn’t support anything anymore…

“Tora! I told you to wait! Let’s talk!” called Ryouji again but the teenager didn’t listen.

 _“I have to run away! I can’t let him catch me! Not again!”_ thought Tora running faster. He arrived at the crosswalk and didn’t take the time to check the road or the traffic light that he crossed it.

Ryouji who was just behind him saw the car arriving from the left and panicked when he noticed Tora didn’t stop and didn’t seem to have seen it. “TORA! WATCH OUT!”

But the car hit violently Tora at the crosswalk. The teenager fell back on the ground heavily after the impact. The noise of the brakes screeching was horrible. From his spot, Ryouji had seen everything…and it brought him in the past…when he was a kid.

 

 

_This day, his father came to look for him at school. There was a lot of traffic at this hour._

_“Daddy, can we stop to buy an ice-cream?”_

_“It’s already late, Ryou. Mama prepared a chocolate cake for you tonight.”_

_“Really??”_

_“Yes. Don’t you prefer it than an ice-cream?”_

_“Yes! Yes! Hurry! I wanna go back home to taste it!”_

_“No need to rush, son.”_

_“But Daddy, I’m super hungry!”_

_“You have to be patient, Ryouji. We can’t have everything.”_

_These were the last words that the little kid heard from his father. Right after this, a car hit them. The driver had run a red light and hit their car from the left. Ryouji passed out, hit at the head. When he opened the eyes, he was in a bright room. The walls were white and cold. His body and head hurt like hell. His mother and sister were on the corridor, talking with a doctor. He was a bit far and still disoriented by the pain he was feeling, to hear what they said, but he got it quickly when he saw his mother falling on her knees, crying…his father died._

_The kid was maybe young but there were signs that even children could understand by themselves. Ryouji cried silently, closing his eyes…_

_“It’s my fault…I told Daddy to hurry…” he thought mutely. He kept this guilt for himself and never said a word to anyone._

 

 

The history repeated itself. It was because Tora was trying to run away from him that he passed the crosswalk without checking the road before. This accident…he provoked it.

“Tora! Tora!” Ryouji reached his side and checked his current state. The teen was bleeding from the nose, the mouth, but also from the back of his head. His left leg seemed to be broken. He probably had other wounds but Ryouji couldn’t guess it. He couldn’t move his body.

A man, who was walking near of them at the time of the accident, joined them. He took his cell phone and called an ambulance.

Ryouji grabbed Tora’s hand and tried to reassure him. The blonde was still conscious. “Hold on, Tora. The rescue will be here soon. Hold on…”

“R..Ry..”

“Shhh…don’t talk. Save your energy.” Replied Ryouji who put his finger on Tora’s lips to silent him. He removed his vest and covered him with it. “I’m here…it’s gonna be alright. Hold on…”

“W..wh..y…”

“Tora, please. Don’t talk…it asks you too many effort.”

But the blonde was determinate to speak. “Wh..wh..y..d..id..y.ou..let..h..im d..oin..g..this..t..o ..me..”

The man didn’t understand the meaning of Tora’s words. He thought he was too shocked to be rational, so he just tried to cool him the best way he could.

“Tora, please. We’ll talk as long as you want but only when you’ll get better. Now, please, just rest…”

“y..you..le..t..hi..m..hu..rt..me..i..wai..ted..for..yo..u..to..sa..ve .me..wh..ere..w..ere..y..ou..Ry..ouj..i..”

“Tora please!”

The other man put a knee on the floor and tried to calm the boy. “He’s right, son. Don’t talk. You’re too weak now.”

But Tora ignored him, staying focused on Ryouji.

“Y..ou didn’..t hel..p..me..this..n..igh..t..whe..n..i..came..to..see..y..ou..i..neede..d..you…” Then, Tora passed out, exhausted.

“Tora! Tora!!!” called Ryouji. “Don’t you dare doing this to me! Do you hear me? I swear I will never forgive you if you die!! Little shit! Wake up!!” he said roaring at Tora’s face.

The man tried to calm him down but Ryouji pushed him away. “Get your fucking hands out of me! This is my nephew! I’m a cop!!”

The man moved away, a bit scared. Ryouji focused on Tora again, but this time, his voice was shaking. “Tora…please. I’m begging you…don’t leave me…Please…don’t leave me.” His tears fell on Tora’s fragile face.

“It’s my fault…again…”


	10. Don’t let me be misunderstood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oookaay...i finally finished this chapter. It's 04:00 a.m and i'm really really really tired...so don't be mad if i made mistakes. I remind you english isn't my language so i apologize in advance. I tried to correct the other chapters and i realized there were so many faults that i was ashamed to have not seen it before posting...sorry. I hope you would like this chapter because i worked hard, i read again the manga to have some inspiration for other characters and made some researches about medicine...you will understand after had read it. Thanks for your interest.  
> See you ^_^

“What do we have?”

“A teenager, about 17, run over by a car at the crosswalk.”

“Was he conscious after the shock?”

“During five minutes before collapsing.”

The doctor continued to ask questions still walking rapidly toward the emergencies services with the ambulances men. Ryouji was following them, without taking his eyes off Tora. The poor blonde was wearing a breathing mask. His hurt and bleeding body inert was covered by perfusions.

“Block 5! Hurry! We’re losing him!”

“Yes Sir!”

“What’s going on???” asked Ryouji when he understood Tora’s condition deteriorated.

On the same time, they reached the operation room and a nurse blocked the access. “I’m sorry Sir, but you have to stay outside.”

“How is he? They said you were losing him! I wanna know! Tell me!”

“Sir!” Yelled the woman. “Please, let us work! We know what to do. Please, go to the waiting room. The Doctor will come to give you information when he will finish. Please…”

Ryouji calmed down but stayed at the same place. “Pl..please…save him. Don’t..don’t let him die, I’m begging you…”

The nurse stroked his arm to comfort him. “We’ll do our best. Hold on.” Then, she joined the rest of the team inside of the operation room and closed the door behind her. During five minutes, Ryouji stayed on his feet, facing the big door closed. He didn’t know what to do.

“Sir…you should go to the waiting room. You can’t do anything now.” Said another woman who saw him in front of the door. “Follow me.”

Ryouji obeyed like a zombie. He let the woman bringing him to the other room without protesting, still under the shock. She made him sit and put a knee on the floor to be at his height.

“Are you a relative?”

“His uncle.”

“I see. Do you want me to contact someone else or…”

“I already called my sister. She’s on the road.”

“You mean his mother?”

“Yes.”

“Ok…would you like something to drink? A glass of water? It will help you to relax…”

“No…nothing can make me relax. I want to see my nephew.”

The woman nodded and tried to reassure him the best way she could. “I understand. Hold on.” She let Ryouji alone and returned to her work.

The tall brunette was hiding his face between his hands. He was shaking like a leaf. Some tears escaped from his eyes and fell on the floor.

“Tora…” he murmured sadly.

 

He wiped his tears and crossed his hands together, closing his eyes, to pray in silence. _“Lord, please, spare Tora’s life and save him…I’m begging you. Don’t take him away from me. I swear I will never hurt him again. I’ll cherish him and I’ll take care of him, so please, save him…I’m begging you to save him, please…”_

 “RYOUJI!”

The man lifted his head abruptly when he recognized his sister’s voice. She was accompanied by Akira, Shibuya and Hirose.

“Sis…”

“Where is he? How is he? Tell me what happened!!” she asked so many questions that Ryouji began to be lost.

“They just brought him at the operation room…it’s too early to say how he is but…”

“But???”

“But…he..he passed out before the ambulance arrived…”

“No! No…” Kaoru fell on her knees, crying. Akira held her by the waist to make her sit on a chair.

“Darling…take a seat…”

“My Tora…not my Tora…not him…” she cried desperately. “Wh..what happened Ryouji? Tell me…”

Her brother sat at her side and took her hand. “I was running after him. I called and asked him to stop but he didn’t listen to me…and he passed the crosswalk without checking the road before…When I saw the car and I tried to warn him, it was already too late…”

“Ryouji…tell me. Tell me he’s gonna survive…tell me he won’t die. Please!!” begged Kaoru in despair.

He couldn’t answer, so he just hugged her tightly in his arms to let her cry on his shoulder. Even if he tried to contain his pain, he was as terrified to lose Tora as she was. His eyes were red and everybody understood he had cried before they arrived.

Akira was looking at her, concerned. He couldn’t support to see his fiancé so sad, even if a part of him knew he had a part of responsibility in that mess.

 _“Why should I blame myself for this? It’s not like I pushed him on the road or something…”_ he said to himself, trying to erase this guilty feeling _. “I just gave him the lesson he deserved. That…perverted brat! He didn’t mind to fuck with his uncle and he made the prude with me! Such a bloody liar!”_

Hirose was staring at them, sadly. He was the only one who could understand what Ryouji really felt since nobody was aware of his relationship with Tora. It wasn’t just a relative that Ryouji was losing right now, but also the only person he ever loved in his life. Hirose knew his sempai more than anyone. They went to the police academy together. Actually, when Hirose joined the police, Ryouji was already a cop. He took him under his wing. That was why the two men were so close and why he understood him better than anyone.

On the other side, Shibuya was glaring at Hirose. He had cried on the road. His eyes were still red and he couldn’t help to shed tears even now. But he never broke the eye-contact with Hirose as if he wanted to say “This is your fault.” Hirose felt hurt but swallowed it again. It wasn’t the right time to talk about this and to tell him the truth, especially not in front of Tora’s mother.

 

 

They waited and waited, with anxiety. Each minute seemed to be an hour. The wait was unbearable and endless. But after several hours, a doctor came to see them. Kaoru got up immediately and practically ran toward him. Everybody fixed his attention on him.

“Doctor! How is my son???”

“I won’t lie to you: his injuries are really serious. He has several ribs broken, an important head trauma and we gave him emergency surgery for a punctured lung. We’re also preoccupied by his right leg and by his spine. Besides, he lost a lot of blood, so…”

“No…no. Please! Don’t tell me…he’s gonna die? He can’t die!!” she cried.

“He’s in a coma. We’ve done everything we could but now, we have to wait.”

Ryouji approached. “Can..he survive?”

“It’s too early to reply, Sir…”

“Can he??” he asked again.

The man understood his distress and decided to give him his point of view. “Yes…but I don’t want to give you false hopes. You have to prepare yourselves to the worst. We’ll know more in the next hours, but all is not lost. Keep faith.”

“Can…we see him?”

He hesitated but finally agreed. “No more than five minutes please.”

“Thank you.”

Kaoru and Akira walked away, accompanied by the nurse. Ryouji was about to follow them when the Doctor called him.

“Excuse-me Sir, but can I have a word with you please?”

Ryouji frowned, a bit surprised. Kaoru and Akira stopped walking. The doctor seemed to be embarrassed so he gave them a false excuse.

“Hum…I need to write my rapport, so since you came with the ambulance…”

“I got it.” He waved at Kaoru. “Go ahead. I’ll join you later.”

“Ok…”

 

The man made a sign with his head to Ryouji. “Follow me, please.”

He nodded and accompanied him in the corridor. They went in a corner and faced each other. Ryouji pressed his back on the wall.

“What do you wanna know?”

“The ambulance men told me you were his uncle and that you were a policeman. Is it right?”

“Yes. And?”

“Well, actually, I didn’t want to mention this in front of his mother, so I thought it would be better to inform you first since you’re a cop…”

“I don’t get it. What do you mean?”

The man checked his notes. “Do you know if…your nephew has a boyfriend?”

“What?”

“I ask you this because…when we made the examination, we also found some intern injuries…”

“Intern…injuries? What kind of injuries??”

“I don’t know your nephew’s sexual practices but I think he has been raped…”

Ryouji blinked. “R…RAPED???” he almost shouted.

The Doctor blushed and looked around him embarrassed. Fortunately, there was no one on the corridor.

“Yes…judging your reaction, I guess you weren’t aware about this…”

“It…it can’t be true…no! It’s…impossible!”

“I know it’s hard to hear it but I tell you the truth. I don’t think you need details but these sorts of injuries wouldn’t appear after a hard sexual intercourse…I mean, it should have been really violent to have provoked these intern lesions so…”

Ryouji was out of breath. He barely could stay on his feet but managed to find the strength to keep his composure. “Wh..when? When do you think it happened?”

“I would say about two or three days ago…it’s regrettably too late to collect some DNA samples...”

Ryouji began to recall his memories to understand when it could have happened to Tora. It wasn’t enough to see him in a coma that he had to deal with that too…and after some seconds, he suddenly remembered the day when he disappeared. This day, Kaoru called him to ask if he had seen Tora and Ryouji actually looked for him during the entire day in the whole city.

“Keep this information confidential and don’t talk about it to his mother.”

“Sure. Would you like a copy of my rapport?”

“Yes please.”

The man held him the file. “I hope you’ll find the monster who did that.”

“Thanks.”

 

 

 Ryouji left the hospital immediately. Hirose saw him leaving so he followed him.

“Sempai! Wait!”

He stopped and turned to see him. “Where’s your car?”

“But…where are you going? I thought you wanted to see Tora-kun and…”

“I’ve something more important to do. I can’t do anything for Tora right now. Where’s your car?”

“At the parking…follow me.”

They went to the parking and left the hospital. “Where are we going?”

“Just bring me to home. I’ll take my car.”

“But where are you gonna go?”

“Somewhere.”

Hirose didn’t ask more. In this state, he knew he shouldn’t bother Ryouji with his questions. Anyway, he wouldn’t answer. But he noticed something different in his eyes. It wasn’t just fear, but anger, or more hatred. Hatred but why? And what could be more important than Tora now?

They arrived few minutes later. Ryouji went out of the car. “I’m gonna return to the hospital.”

“Ok. Call me if there is some news about Tora’s state.”

“Sure…” Hirose looked at him leaving. “Sempai?”

“What?”

“You…you don’t wanna tell me where you’re going?”

“It’s better this way. Don’t follow me.”

Then, Ryouji went to his home, grabbed his keys and reached his car in the parking. He didn’t waste more time and went directly to his next destination: the Haneshiba’s quarters.

 

 

Hirose couldn’t stop thinking about him. He knew he shouldn’t do that but he decided to follow him. He knew Ryouji would notice him so he let his car and went to the first taxi he saw. Fortunately, there was a taxi area near.

“Hi Sir. Where do you want to go?”

“Follow this car please.”

The taxi driver frowned and began to be scared. “Hum…no offence Sir but I don’t want to be involved in…”

“I’m a cop. Do as I say. This is important, please. “Hirose showed him his card to reassure him. “Please, hurry. We’re gonna lose him.”

“Ok. Let’s go.” The man nodded and chased after Ryouji. His car was few meters behind so he couldn’t notice them. Besides, since Hirose was in a taxi, he didn’t suspect anything. But Ryouji took the time to check if he wasn’t followed in his rearview mirror.

“Keep your distances please. We mustn’t be seen.”

“That’s so exciting! I’m in a cop pursuit!” said the taxi driver excited.

“There’s nothing extraordinary. Believe me.”

“Who is this man? A criminal? A gangster? A thief?”

 “No…he is my colleague.”

“What?”

“I have a bad feeling. I’m afraid he could do something he shouldn’t…”

“Like…a suicide you mean?”

“No…I don’t know but there’s something wrong in his attitude.”

“Then, why don’t you go to talk with him?”

Hirose laughed. “You would understand if you knew him. He’s not an easy person…”

“Oh…but where do you think he’s going like that?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I asked you to follow him.”

They continued to drive and the traffic became less important. The risk to be noticed increased. But after ten minutes, Hirose recognized the place.

 _“The Haneshiba’s quarters?”_ he wondered. _“But what is he going to do here?”_

“Sir? He’s turning on a one way side. If I follow him, he will notice me. What should I do?”

“That’s ok. I know where he’s going. Stop the car please.”

The car stopped at the bus stop. Hirose paid and thanked the driver. “Thank you. Hum…could you wait for me please?”

“Sure.”

“Thank you. I’m coming back.” He crossed the road and went to the neighborhood. He knew this place. The Haneshiba’s group was running this part of the city. It was their territory. He went often with Ryouji to investigate on their business, or when they were looking for Hyodo. Thinking about it, Hirose began to understand the reason of Ryouji’s visit.

_“He’s looking for Hyodo…”_

 

 

Ryouji parked his car and went to the Haneshiba’s mansion. Guards blocked his way. They recognized the cop immediately.

“What are you doing here?” asked a guard, putting his hand on his vest to grab his gun.

“I want to talk with your boss.”

“The Boss is not here. Leave.”

“Really? Then, what his car is doing here?”

“Not your business. Leave.”

Ryouji got pissed but kept his self-control. “I came alone as you can see and I’m not here for my work.”

“Why are you here, then?”

“Personal reason. I need to talk with your boss. Now.”

The man looked at his colleague and nodded. He sent him informing the others of Ryouji’s presence. He went back few minutes later.

“The Boss is waiting for you. Follow me.”

Ryouji joined him and entered in the house. The members of the group were glaring at him but he ignored them. He wasn’t there for them but for Tora. They arrived in front of a large door. The man knocked.

“Come in.”

He pushed the door and entered. “Kase-san is here, Boss.”

“Let him in.”

Ryouji approached and faced them. The boss was surrounded by two assistants and four bodyguards, ready to shoot Ryouji at the first move.

“Kase-san. Such a long time ago.”

“Miruku-san.”

“Come in. Have a seat.” He waved at his assistant.” Would you like a drink?”

“Sure.”

A man served him a glass of whisky and held it to him. Ryouji drank it in one sitting. He lifted his head and faced the Boss.

“I must confess I’m a bit surprised about your visit…”

“I need information.”

“Information?” asked the man, smirking. “I’m sorry my dear but you should have confused my quarters for another place…” The other men laughed too. “Is there an informant of yours in my men?”

“I want to find Hyodo.”

Everyone stopped laughing. The Boss became serious again. “And?”

“I’m sure you know where he is.”

“And?” asked again the man.

“I must find him.”

“Why should I help you?”

“I’m not here for my work but for me. He hurt someone precious to me and I want to make him pay for that.”

The old man touched his chin, keeping his eyes on Ryouji. “You better leave, Kase-san.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“I doubt but even if you told me the truth, I have no reason to help you.” He made a sign to his guards to escort Ryouji outside. They approached and were about to grab him by the arms when Ryouji pushed them away.

“Yuzuriya’s group.”

The Boss raised his hand to stop his men. “What?”

“Give me Hyodo and I give you Yuzuriya’s group.”

Hearing Ryouji’s proposition made him think twice. He could at least let him explain. “What do you mean by that?”

“Shinedo-san killed your son about four years ago. You promised to avenge his death destroying his group. I tell you where he is and you tell me where Hyodo is.”

“How do you know where Shinedo is?”

“My informants are better than yours. So?”

The man seemed to be hesitant. “Why are you doing this?”

“I told you. I’m doing it for me. That's personal.”

“I figured it! You’re ready to risk your career to reveal this information to me to get Hyodo?”

“Hyodo wouldn’t be a great loss for you. He didn’t stop cause you troubles. Give him to me.”

“What did he do to you?” he thought some seconds before answering. “Oh yes! I heard he tried to rape your nephew, right?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you were over it.”

“I was…when he was in jail. But it’s different now.”

“You wanna protect your nephew against him? You shouldn’t be so worried about that, Kase-san. I don’t think Hyodo would be enough stupid to come back for your nephew.”

“He already came.”

“What?”

“It’s not your business anyway. Are we agreed or not?” he asked annoyed.

After a long silence, the man nodded. “I didn’t see Hyodo since he escaped but I know where he is. But first, tell me where Shinedo is.”

 

 

Hirose stayed outside, observing the Haneshiba’s mansion from his spot. He couldn’t come closer or he would be noticed by the guards. He saw Ryouji’s car parked near of the place. He waited about fifty minutes when he saw Ryouji leaving the house. He reached the car and turned it on before leaving quickly. Hirose who stayed hidden began to run to return to his taxi. He came back five minutes later and went inside.

“Did you see what direction he took?” asked Hirose to the taxi driver.

“Hum…I saw him leaving on the left. Are we going to chase him again?”

“Yes! Hurry please!”

“Here we go!” exclaimed the driver excited.

 

After few minutes driving in the city, Hirose still followed Ryouji. They arrived in an industrial area. He understood he would be noticed if he continued with his taxi so he asked to depose him.

“Are you sure, Sir? We are in a middle of nowhere…”

“He’s gonna notice us. I’ll do the rest of the road walking. Thank you.” He paid and began to run after Ryouji, even if his car was already far.

He took his cell phone and composed a number. Someone answered.

“ _Hello_?”

“Yuri? Hirose is speaking. I need a patrol right now.”

 

 

* * *

 

Ryouji parked his car and went out. He checked his gun and began to walk slowly toward an abandoned building. He hid discreetly and observed the inside through the window. There were five men playing cards and drinking beers. He took the time to notice every single detail of the place before entering without doing any noise. They didn’t hear him coming.

Then, Hyodo joined them. “Hey. I’m hungry.” He said to the men.

“And so?”

“Go and get something.”

“Not now. We must wait our contact. We’ll eat after the transaction.”

“When is he getting here?”

“He shouldn’t be long now.”

Ryouji moved closer and hid behind a wall, listening to them carefully. Even if he had returned his gun to his boss, he kept another one at his home so he could use it. He was fixing Hyodo with hatred.

_“You sick bastard…you’re dead.”_

They heard a knock at the metallic door. It couldn’t be anyone else than their contact because the person knocked two then third times before someone came to open.

“He’s here.” A man made a sign to his subordinate to go to open the door.

 

Ryouji wanted to use this opportunity to kill Hyodo and to jump on him but there were armed and several people. It would be suicidal.

The door opened and a man with a leather black vest entered. “Damn! Couldn’t you have chosen a better zone? This place is so depressing…” sighted the new guest.

The man who was with Hyodo laughed. “Welcome Seiji-san. Don’t worry, we’ve got something to make you smile.” He clapped his hands and another man brought a bag before deposing it on the table.

Seiji opened it and looked at the merchandise. He took a small package, opened it with a knife and tasted it before agreeing. “Good stuff.”

He held him a big envelop full of money. The man was about to take it when Hyodo approached and grabbed it. He opened it and counted the cash. He didn’t look happy. “That’s not what we decided.”

“I know but I adjusted the price, reconsidering what your competitors proposed to me. You can be happy I still chose you.”

Hyodo lost his temper. “We had a deal. I don’t give a flying fuck about the price the others proposed you. Pay me!”

“You’re not in position to negotiate, Hyodo.”

“Really?” smirked Hyodo, grabbing his gun on his back and pointing it on his head. “Wanna say it again? I could keep my stuff AND the money if I wanted…”

“Yes but if you kill me, Yomeshiro’s group would be on your back. The Haneshiba’s group already abandoned you, so you better not draw attention on you, my dear…”

“I don’t need the Haneshiba’s group. PAY ME!”

“I won’t give you more, not even a single yen. Take this or the transaction is cancelled and you can prepare yourself to go back in jail. Without money, you won’t be able to stay free eternally…” the man was self-assured. He knew Hyodo’s situation and used it.

“Bastard…” after few minutes, he finally agreed. “I swear I’ll make you pay for this…”

The man took the bag, laughing. “Such a pleasure to deal with you, guys!”

 

Hyodo hit a chair with his foot. He was so frustrated that he couldn’t keep his calm. The guest was about to leave when they have been blinded by lights coming from outside.

“What the fuck…”

 _“POLICE. THE BUILDING IS SURROUNDED. YOU CAN’T ESCAPE. DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND GET OUT OF HERE SLOWLY, HANDS UP.”_ Said someone with a loudspeaker from the outside.

Seiji turned around and went back to the group. “What the fuck is going on???”

“That’s my line! Didn’t you notice they were following you??” asked Hyodo’s subordinate.

“Nobody followed me!! Fuck!! What are we going to do now??”

The group was wondering how they could escape without being killed when Hyodo didn’t listen to them and began to run toward the exit at the opposite side.

“Boss! Where are you going? Hey!!”

But Hyodo didn’t care. He had his secret passage and knew how to escape. He prepared himself in the case of this would happen to him.

Outside, the cops called them again.

“WE WON’T WAIT ANY LONGER. SURRENDER. IT’S NOW OR NEVER!”

“FUCK YOU!!” some Hyodo’s subordinates panicked and began to shoot the police through the window. The cops hit back firing them.

“FIRE! FIRE”

 

During this time, Hyodo was trying to leave the building, when he received a punch in the face. He fell on his back, caught by the surprise.

“Hi Hyodo! Missed me?”

The man tried to take his gun on his back but Ryouji hit him with his foot on the stomach, which made him let his gun on the floor. He tried to crawl to grab it but Ryouji moved it away, kicking it.

“You really should have stayed out of my way, because there’s nothing which would stop me now!” Ryouji approached and kicked him again with his foot, this time on the hips.

“Fuck..Kase…arg..” groaned Hyodo with pain.

“What?” Ryouji grabbed him by the hair and punched him again. The man tried to hit him but failed lamentably.

“I suppose it was easier with Tora, didn’t you?” He kept his grip on his hair and hit his head with the wall in front of him, breaking his nose.

“Arg…f..fuck..”

Ryouji threw him violently on the floor and went on the top of him, strangling his throat. “FUCKING BASTARD! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ATTACK HIM AGAIN??”

“Ah..i..ca..n’t bre..ath..” suffocated Hyodo.

“You should have stayed far away from Tora! PREPARE TO DIE, FUCKING SHIT!!”

Then, Ryouji suddenly felt a strong grip on his shoulders; he didn’t hear Hirose and another colleague of him coming and calling him.

“SEMPAI! STOP IT!!”

“FUCK! LET ME GO!!”

“YOU’RE GONNA KILL HIM!!”

“THAT’S THE PLAN!! RELEASE ME!!!”

But Hirose didn’t let him go. His colleague tried to cool Ryouji but the tall man was really strong and it wasn’t easy to calm him.

“LET ME GO!!”

“KASE! ENOUGH!!” Their boss joined them and yelled at him. “I told you to stay away from this but you didn’t listen to me!!”

Ryouji lost his temper and was about to punch his boss in the face when Hirose restrained him. “IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENED TO TORA!!”

“What??”

“TORA! HE HAD BEEN RAPED BY THIS BASTARD!!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!! THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT AND NOW I HAVE TO CALM DOWN???”

The boss made a sign to the other cops to bring Hyodo outside. He fixed his attention on Ryouji, perplexed. “What are you talking about, Kase?”

“My nephew…he had a car accident this evening but when the doctor made his examination, he found some traces of a recent rape…I know it’s him…” said Ryouji. He managed to find his cool. “You used Tora to get Hyodo and he got him…you’re satisfied now??” he glared at him.

“We watched your nephew all the time. That’s impossible…”

“THEN WHO DID THAT TO HIM? TELL ME!”

“I don’t know…”

“Tora disappeared during a whole day during this week. The patrol who was supposed to watch him didn’t see him leaving his house this morning. I talked with them…Tora came back at the end of the day…I’m sure he got him during this time and it’s all because of you…” said Ryouji with sadness and anger. “I should have been there to protect him...”

The boss and Hirose didn’t know what to think. It was true that these two events (Tora’s disappearance and rape, and the fact Hyodo was free at this time) were disturbing.

“Let’s go the police station.” Concluded the Boss.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived there, the boss asked Ryouji some explanations about the way he found Hyodo but he refused to tell him. Actually, he was so furious against him that he had no intention to cooperate or to help him for the investigation.

“Let me question him.” Said Ryouji.

“No way! After all what you already did to him, he’s not in condition to reply anyway. You’re too involved.” Replied the Boss.

“I don’t give a shit! If I can’t kill him, then I will make him admit he raped Tora!”

“His confession wouldn’t be admissible for his trial if you do it! It’s already hard enough to deal with the internal affairs because of your insubordination and the fact you hurt the suspect. You could be happy if they don’t consider it like a premeditated attempted murder!”

Ryouji got up and was about to leave when his boss called him. “I DIDN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO GO OUT! COME BACK HERE IMMEDIATELY, KASE!”

But the brunette just spat on the floor, in sign of contempt before slamming the door behind him. His boss was stunned and didn’t know what to do. He knew Ryouji had hard times because of his nephew, since he was at the hospital on life support. He managed to restrain the internal affairs just the time until Tora’s health get better.

 

 

Ryouji went to his desk and called his sister with his cell phone. She told him that the doctor didn’t give more details and that Tora’s state didn’t improve. He sighted sadly and told her he would be back soon. He heard someone coming to his side.

“Sempai…”

Ryouji turned his head to see him. “How did you know where I was?”

“I…followed you.”

He stared at him, coldly. “How? I checked the road but I didn’t see you.”

“I took a taxi and I followed you…until the Haneshiba’s quarters.” He said quietly.

Ryouji understood they shouldn’t stay here to not draw the attention so he made a sign to Hirose to follow him outside. They went at the entrance.

 

“Why did you go there, Sempai?”

“I didn’t know where to find Hyodo so I made a deal with them. I gave them Shinedo.”

Hirose blinked, still uncertain if he heard correctly. “Sempai…don’t tell me…you did this?”

“I did.”

“But…do you realize what you’ve done, you’re gonna provoke a war! If Haneshiba’s group finds Shinedo, they will kill him and will enter in conflict with Yuzuriya’s group!!”

“Whatever.”

“But…you can’t be serious!! Do you understand you’re involved in yakuzas’s war? What if Yuzuriya’s group discovers you denounced them?”

“I don’t care anymore. They can kill each other, I don’t give a shit. I want Hyodo pays for what he did to Tora.”

“Sempai…”

“I should have never let him. I watched him…every single day. I don’t know what happened and how it could have happened to him…”

“Sempai…I don’t think it’s Hyodo…”

“It can’t be anyone else. The doctor said Tora has been raped about two or three days ago. His injuries are important so it means he didn’t go easy on him.”

“But…” Hirose knew what he was about to say would make him angry but he had to tell it. “Don’t you think it can be…I mean…”

Ryouji glared at him and grabbed his collar. “What? You think I was that rough to have hurt Tora that bad fucking him?”

“I mean…you’re..strong and sometimes you don’t realize your own strength…”

“Did you listen to what I said, Shithead? I told you his injuries are enough important to have stayed two or three days after the rape!” he released him, pushing him away violently.” Besides, I didn’t do it with him since a long time now…”

“I’m sorry…”

“My ass!”

Hirose looked down. He knew he hurt him.

“I know I’m no angel but not at this point…”

“Sempai…actually, I didn’t tell you this only because I know about Tora and you, but also because…”

“What?”

“Because if Hyodo actually raped Tora, he would have never let him go, don’t you think?”

Ryouji made a pause to think about it.

“I mean, you know him. He would have killed Tora…or at least, he would have used him as bait. But Tora came back the same day…don’t you think it’s strange?”

“Now you say that…I don’t know. Maybe Tora managed to escape?”

“And he would have come back without saying anything?”

“Fuck! I don’t know! I wasn’t there! I can’t tell you what happened…but I know it’s him.”

“How?”

“Tora told me.”

“What?” frowned Hirose.

“When Tora had been hit by the car, he was still conscious…and he tried…he tried to tell me what happened to him..”

“What did he say? Did he tell you it was Hyodo?”

“No. But I remember his words… _”Why did you let him doing this to me? You let him hurt me, I waited for you to save me. Where were you Ryouji?”_

“Tora-kun said that to you?”

“Yes. At the beginning, I thought he became crazy or he didn’t understand what he was saying because of the shock…but now, I realize he was trying to tell me…it can’t be a coincidence. Hyodo was free and Tora disappeared during a whole day. I don’t know if and how Tora managed to escape or if Hyodo released him on purpose…but I know he’s behind this…”

“Sempai…you should have told me.”

“That wasn’t your role to fix the things, Hirose, but mine.”

“But now you’re in trouble…”

“I know but it doesn’t matter. As long as Tora is safe and Hyodo far away from him, it’s ok.”

“They brought him to the hospital for his injuries. I will tell you if he speaks.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna go back to the hospital with Kaoru.”

“Ok. I’ll join you later.”

 

* * *

 

Ryouji took his car and went back to the hospital. After had questioned him, the internal affairs accepted to let him free during the time of the investigation and to stay at Tora’s side but in exchange, they asked him to stay in the city. He had no intention to run away so he cooperated.

When he arrived at the hospital, his sister was in the corridor, head down, alone. He approached and sat by her side, rubbing her back softly.

“Ryouji…”

“How is he? Did you see the doctor?”

“We have to wait. It’s too early to say if he’s gonna survive…I’m so scared…” she cried, letting her head falling on Ryouji’s shoulder.

He took her in his arms, hugging her tightly. “It’s gonna be alright. He won’t die…”

“Ryouji…if Tora doesn’t wake up, I…I won’t be strong enough to endure it…”

“It won’t happen.”

“I hoped I would never live this tragedy again…our father, my husband and now my son…I can’t! I can’t take it anymore…”

“Kaoru. You have to be strong. It’s not over.” Ryouji sighted. “Forgive me.”

“What for?”

“ _To have hurt and raped your son, to have broken his heart, to have ruined his life, to have betrayed you…”_ He thought. “I ran after him. If only I haven’t done that, he wouldn’t have run that fast and he would have been more careful…”

Kaoru lifted her head and smiled sadly, caressing his hair gently.” My, my…Ryouji. You’re still the same after all these years. You always blame yourself for nothing. ”

“I don’t get it. What do you mean?”

“After dad’s death, you blamed yourself. I know you thought it was your fault if you two had this accident. I heard you talking with mom one day…you told her dad hurried and drove faster to come back home early because you asked him…you were so young…”

Ryouji blushed, embarrassed.

“And now, you’re blaming yourself again for what happened to Tora, but you’re wrong. It wasn’t your fault. It never had been your fault…”

“Sis, I’m so sorry…”

“Ryouji…I’m the only one who should apologize. After dad’s death, I was broken. I found a refuge with my friends but I let you with your pain…and I did it again with Tora after my husband’s death. I’m despicable. I never have been there for you or for Tora…”

“Don’t say that.”

 “I always have been a bad sister and a bad mother…I’m selfish and…”

“Hey! Are you listening? I told you to stop saying that!” exclaimed Ryouji with authority. “He’s gonna wake up so keep faith. What happened to dad and to your husband won’t happen to him.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Thanks to be there, Ryouji…”

“I’m concerned for him too, you know?”

“Yes. I wondered if you two would get along when I sent Tora to you…”

“Well, at the beginning, I have to confess it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t his fault but mine. You know how I am. But with the time, I really appreciated his company…my home seems a bit empty without him…”

“I thought it would be better to take him back with me. I didn’t know you missed him…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. He’s your son. It’s understandable that you two live together.”

“Yeah…”

Ryouji realized he had to stop saying these things to not create the suspicion in his sister’s head, so he changed the topic of the conversation.

“Anyway, where’s Akira?”

“He’s talking with our boss at the phone. I can’t work knowing Tora is on life support...”

“I see…”

 

Akira went back few minutes later with two coffees.

“Hi Ryouji.”

“Hi. Stay with her. I’m gonna ask if I can see Tora.”

“Sure. Do you want a coffee?”

“No thanks.” He kissed Kaoru’s forehead with affection. “I’m coming back.”

“Ok. Thanks.”

He got up and let Akira take his place. He went to Tora’s bedroom

 

 

During this time, Shibuya was in Tora’s bedroom. He stayed with his friend, praying for him. He couldn’t believe his friend was between life and death. He was holding Tora’s hand with his, fixing him with sadness and worry. He would give anything to see him opening his eyes…but he had to wait. The doctor gave him five minutes so he knew he couldn’t stay any longer. But before leaving, he went to the bathroom to use the toilets. He closed the door behind him.

 

Ryouji arrived in front of Tora’s bedroom. He didn’t bother to ask if he had the right to see him. It didn’t matter. He needed to see Tora. He entered and closed the door. The little blonde was on his bed, unconscious. Ryouji approached, slowly, and reached his side.

“Tora…”

He caressed his face gently, brushing his hair falling on his forehead. He sat on the bed, at his side without taking his eyes off him.

“Tora…I’m so sorry…if only you knew how much I regret…” said Ryouji. He took his hand and held it. “I hurt you so much. I never deserved you or your love…I treated you like shit, but despite of that, you never stopped loving me.”

 

From his spot, Shibuya was listening to him. He didn’t know what to do and began to realize that Ryouji wasn’t the man he thought he was.

_“Wait a minute…why does he say this?” he wondered._

 

Ryouji didn’t notice and kept his attention on his nephew. “I’ve been horrible and despicable with you…I broke your heart and I abandoned you…after all what you did for me. I’m so ashamed about what I’ve done to you this night…I wanted you hate me, but I went too far. I should have never hurt you this way and being drunk wasn’t an excuse for this…”

 

Shibuya blinked. _“Wait! Don’t tell me…”_

 

“Tora…I’m sorry, and not only for what I did to you this night, but for everything. I should have been there to protect you against Hyodo. I shouldn’t have treated you so nastily…but most of all, I…regret to have lied to you…” Ryouji looked down, still holding Tora’s hand. “When you came to my house about few days ago, I said I never loved you…that I just used your body to satisfy myself…and that I would never love you…but I lied. I wanted to make you run away from me…but if you give me a chance, just another one, I’ll tell you how important you are for me…how much I care about you…so please, wake up. Don’t leave me because…now I met you, living without you would be worthless. If…if I lose you too, then…I will never forgive myself. Please…”

Then, Ryouji took Tora’s hand and kissed it gently. A nurse entered in the bedroom and interrupted him.

“I’m sorry, Sir, but you have to leave. The doctor has to exanimate him.”

“I’m leaving.” Ryouji looked at Tora a last time before leaving. Shibuya stayed in the bathroom and waited several minutes until everyone left to finally get out of the bedroom.

 

 

On his way, Ryouji met the doctor.

“Doctor? I saw my sister and she told me nothing changed in Tora’s condition?”

“No, Sir I’m sorry but it’s too early to tell you.”

It wasn’t what he wanted to hear but he had to. “Tell me, honestly: can he survive?”

“You know…” The doctor didn’t seem to be at ease. He understood Ryouji wanted to be reassured but he couldn’t lie to him, giving false hopes.

“Just tell me. Do you think he can survive?”

After a moment of hesitation, the man replied with honesty. “I do. But you have to prepare yourself to the worst. His injuries are important…but nothing is impossible.”

“I understand.”

“Anyway, did you find his rapist?”asked the doctor.

“I think I did but I can’t prove anything…”

“Ah?”

“Yes. I’m sure it’s him because he already tried in the past to rape him, but I caught him before. But, I’ve no proof…”

The man looked into the file he was holding. “Hum…maybe this would help you?” he held him a document.

“What is it?”

“The last analysis of your nephew. I found some traces of gonorrhea…do you know what is it?”

“No. Tell me.”

“An STD.”

Ryouji stared at him, shocked. “Are..you sure?”

“Yes. I can tell you the infection is recent. The onset of disease symptoms usually occurs two to five days after infection. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly curable. We already gave treatments to your nephew.”

“So…that means the one who raped him is infected by this STD, right?”

“Yes but he's maybe already cured because we cure this disease generally with a single dose treatment.” He took a pen and wrote something on his rapport. “For the gonorrhea, we usually give a medicament called “ceftriaxone”; as I told you, it’s a single dose treatment. So if you can prove that the man you suspect to have raped you nephew took this medicament, you can have good evidence.”

“Yes but…if it’s a single dose treatment, I don’t think I can have this information about him…”

“Hum…correct.” He man frowned and thought again. “Actually, there’s maybe another way…”

“Tell me.”

“Sometimes, the symptoms persist for a while after the treatment for the gonorrhea, so the people who got infected by this disease can be also infected by another one called Chlamydia. So, usually, people who get gonorrhea are also treated for Chlamydia with antibiotic. There’re two medicaments for this one:  azithromycin in a single treatment dose and doxycycline. The second one has to be taken during a week and can be repeated.”

“Can you write me this please?”

“Sure.” The man finished to write the names of the different treatment and gave his paper to Ryouji. “I hope it will help you.”

“Thank you.”

 

 

 

Ryouji left and went directly outside to use his cell phone.

_“Hello?”_

“Hirose. I need your help. Can you have Hyodo’s medical file?”

_“But…why?”_

“Maybe I found a way to prove that he raped Tora but I need a confirmation.”

_“I can’t get this, Sempai. This is confidential and…”_

“I know that, Dumbass!” He sighted. “Well, tell me at least in which hospital he had been sent?”

_“Sempai…you can’t approach him. You know that.”_

“I won’t kill him…or at least not now. Just tell me!”

After a time of hesitation, Hirose accepted. _“I tell you but I come with you.”_

“No way!”

_“That’s not a request, Sempai. I come with you or I won’t tell you!”_

Ryouji cursed him but he knew he wasn’t in position to discuss. “FINE!”

_“Ok, I’m coming to pick you. I’ll be there in few minutes.”_

“I’m waiting for you at the entrance of the hospital.”

He hung up the phone and waited.

 

* * *

 

Hirose arrived fifteen minutes later. He hadn’t been assigned to Hyodo’s investigation but his boss asked him to watch Ryouji. He was already in trouble so he didn’t need to aggravate his case. They went to the hospital where Hyodo was treated. Two cops were watching his bedroom, so Ryouji and Hirose couldn’t even enter or approach. They hid in the corridor.

“I told you, Sempai. You can’t approach him and if the internal affairs and the boss know that you’re here…”

“Listen: if I can prove he’s infected by this STD, I’ll prove he raped Tora. I can’t stop now.”

“But can we know about this? His medical file is confidential.”

After a time of reflection, Ryouji got an idea. “Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“To the secretariat. Give me your badge”

He arrived there, accompanied by Hirose. A young lady welcomed them. “Hello. Can I help you?”

“Officer Kase.” He showed her Hirose’s badge. “A suspect is currently treated here in your hospital.”

“Yes…two officers are watching his bedroom but…what can I do for you?”

“I need to talk with the doctor who treats him please.”

“Let me check it…” she searched in her document. “Doctor Beniya. She’s probably in the doctors’ office with the nurses. Third door at the end of the corridor on your left.” She showed him the way from her place.

“Thank you.” Ryouji didn’t waste any time and went directly to the office. He knocked at the door, interrupting doctors and nurses during their break.

“Sorry to disturb you, but I’m looking for Doctor Beniya please.”

A woman got up and approached. She joined him at the door and invited them to follow her in the corridor, to let the others enjoying their break in peace. “I’m Doctor Beniya. Who are you?”

“Officer Kase. One of your patients is a suspect in an investigation that I’m in charge. His name is Hyodo.”

“Ah…I see. And what can I do for you?”

“I need some information about his medical file.”

“There’s nothing I can tell you. You should know this is confidential.”

“I know…” Ryouji tried to keep his self-control. He wasn’t in charge of this investigation and actually, he absolutely had no right to be here and to ask it so he better keep his calm. “I suspect him to have raped a teenager about two or three days ago. To be honest, he isn’t wanted for this reason but I want to prove he’s guilty…his victim is currently on life support…and I want justice for him. So please…help me or he won’t be condemned for this. The victim can’t speak right now and there’s no witness. But I can prove his implication…with your help…please.”

The woman seemed to hesitate. She was a mother and too and couldn’t help to be touched knowing that a young boy who could be her own son had been raped by this man. But on the other side, she was honest…”What do you expect from me?”

“I just need one information: Do you know if Hyodo is infected by gonorrhea or Chlamydia?”

The woman thought, crossing her arms against her chest. “I don’t think so…I don’t remember to have noticed it in his analysis…”

“Do you know if he takes or if he took ceftriaxone, azithromycin or doxycycline?”

“I can’t tell you for the first ones because it is single treatment dose but I know he doesn’t take the last one.”

“Are you sure?”

“There is no drug interactions reported by people who take Morphine and Doxycycline together yet but I prefer to not mix it, so before giving him morphine, I checked his analysis. If I had seen trace of doxycycline, I would remember it.”

“I see…thank you.”

The woman nodded. “I don’t think this man is your suspect for this.  I suppose the boy who has been raped got a STD, did he?”

“Yes…but looks like I was wrong this time…”

“Well, I hope you will find his rapist…poor boy…”

“Thanks for your help, Doctor. Please, don’t talk about our conversation to anyone please.”

“I won’t. Ethically, I shouldn’t have told you this but…knowing what happened to this teenager…”

“I understand. Thank you very much and sorry to have bothered you.” Said Hirose bowing. Ryouji thanked her too and then left the hospital.

 

“Can you bring me back to Tora please?” asked Ryouji to Hirose.

“Sure.”

During the road, they didn’t talk. Ryouji was completely lost. He didn’t know what to do or to think. He was so certain that Hyodo was behind Tora’s rape that he couldn’t even think about someone else. He finally broke the silence.

“What can I do, now?”

“I don’t know, Sempai…it’s not like we could check every person infected by gonorrhea or Chlamydia …and anyway, we wouldn’t be able to prove anything…”

“I was so sure of myself this time…my instinct never betrayed me. But now, I’m lost. Someone raped Tora and i don’t have a damn clue of his identity…”

Hirose began to think about the last time he saw Tora at the station. “You know Sempai…I begin to wonder if Tora-kun wasn’t already threatened by his rapist…”

“What do you mean?”

“Now I think about it, when I saw him at the train station, he wasn’t…in his normal state. I told you looked sick but…that’s something more disturbing in his attitude which drew my attention this day…”

“What?”

“He…He was walking toward the rails. A train was coming…but he didn’t look wanting to take the train but…” he couldn’t finish his sentence. Ryouji started to get what he wanted to say.

“You mean…he wanted to jump in front of the train???”

“He looked like a zombie, walking straight ahead. I grabbed him by the shoulders when I came closer but…”

“And…it was when he disappeared during the whole day…”

“Yes. I don’t know if it happened to him before or after I met him…but if it happened after, he probably knew he was threatened…”

“Why…why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it was important. I thought at the beginning he was a bit distracted to have not seen the train and I wondered what he was doing at this hour there…but now I know he has been raped, it makes sense…”

Ryouji hit the panel in front of him with his hands, enraged. “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIM?” he yelled furious.

Hirose panicked and tried to cool him, still driving. “Sempai, calm down! Breaking the car won’t change anything!”

“I’M USELESS! TORA IS FIGHTING TO SURVIVE AND I CAN’T FIND THE FUCKING SON OF BITCH WHO DID THAT HIM!!”

“Please! Calm down. We will find him. It will take as much as time we need but we’ll find him.” Reassured Hirose. These words seemed to have worked because Ryouji found his cool again.

“You know, he came back to see me at my apartment just the previous night before skipping school the next day. He confessed me his feelings again and again…”

“And?”

“And…I rejected him. It wasn't the first time I rejected him but this day, he finally gave up. I broke something in him…”

“Oh…”

Ryouji sighted. “He cried…and after that, he didn’t contact me again. Usually, he sent me some messages but after that, nothing…I wonder if he didn’t go see anyone else to forget me…”

“Do you think he met someone and it turned into a rape?”

“I don’t know…but it definitely happened after that I rejected him, so…”

“That’s not your fault, Sempai. You did that for his good. You knew your relationship with him wasn’t possible because of your sister…”

“He never deserved it, Hirose…”

“Sempai…”

“The man he loved treated him like shit and let him been raped…I saved him from Hyodo by chance, but I wasn’t there to protect him the second time…despite the fact I was watching and following him to protect him against Hyodo…”

“We’ll find this bastard. Don’t worry. Just keep faith and hold on.”

 

They arrived at the hospital. Hirose deposed Ryouji at the entrance before going to park the car. Ryouji was about to leave the car when he gave a last glance to Hirose.

“Thank you…”

“?”

“Just…thank you.” Repeated Ryouji. It was his way to explain his gratitude to Hirose for his support. The man smiled at him and didn’t add another word. It was useless and…embarrassing. It wasn’t in Ryouji’s habits to be like that…

 _“Tora-kun really changed you, Sempai…”_ he thought silently, staring at him leaving toward the entrance.

 

 

When Ryouji came back to the hospital, it was already the morning. Shibuya had returned to his home in the night but Akira and Kaoru stayed at the hospital. It had been the longest night that Ryouji ever had in his whole life: Tora’s accident, Hyodo’s capture, the internal affairs’ questioning, his investigation on Tora’s rapist…but it wasn’t over. It was hard to believe that he did so many things and met so many people on the same night. He was exhausted…but stayed awake. He went to the waiting room where his sister and Akira were sleeping, sat uncomfortably on their chair. Ryouji joined them and sat. The visits weren’t allowed until the lunch, so they waited.

 

* * *

 

 

Hirose came back at the end of the afternoon. He could see how much Ryouji seemed to be tired, just looking at his face. He had dark rings under the eyes.

“Hi Sempai.” He held him a cup of coffee.

“Hi.”

“Something new about Tora-kun?”

“No.”

“I see…” he sat near of him, drinking his coffee. “I heard Yuri questioned Hyodo at the hospital…”

“And?” asked Ryouji, fixing his attention on him.

“He wasn’t in the city when Tora-kun has been raped. He came to the town yesterday in the morning. We checked his alibi.”

“Where was he?”

“Komae for business.”

“Are we sure of his alibi?”

“Yes.”

The brunette sighted, defeated. “So…I was really wrong. It wasn’t him…”

“He’s gonna leave the hospital tomorrow.”

“Well, at least, we caught him…”

“Yes, but the price you’re going to pay is pretty expensive. The internal affairs and the boss are on your back…”

“I don’t care.”

“But…what if you lose your job?”

“It doesn’t matter. I just want to see Tora waking up. As long as he is alive, I’ll be fine…”

Hirose just stared at him, silently. He was also extremely exhausted but he didn’t want to let Ryouji alone. He knew he needed support.

The tall man got up. “I’m gonna see my sister. You should rest. You look tired.”

“What about you?”

“I can’t rest. I’m too stressed to sleep anyway.”

“I’ll leave later. I’m gonna take another coffee. Do you want one?”

“No thanks. See you later.”

 

 

Ryouji joined his sister and Akira in the waiting room. Akira just got up and was about to leave.

“Where are you going?” asked Ryouji.

“Oh, Ryouji…” Kaoru looked at him, rubbing her eyes with her hand, trying to erase her tardiness. “Akira is gonna go back home to bring me some clothes. I need Tora’s identity papers and some clothes for him too…”

“I’m coming with you. Since you came with Hirose yesterday, you don’t have your car. It would be faster than taking a taxi.” Proposed Ryouji.

“Well, sounds good for me. Thank you.”

“Let’s go.” Ryouji approached and kissed his sister’s forehead. “Call me if the doctor tells you something new.”

“Sure.”

 

* * *

 

Ryouji and Akira left the hospital together. They didn’t have the strength to talk. They hadn’t slept and even didn’t take the time to have a good lunch. The wait was hard to endure. They practically arrived at home when Akira finally spoke.

“I don’t know what to do to support Kaoru…if something happens to Tora, she will never recover…”

“It won’t happen.” Replied Ryouji, as if he was trying to convince himself saying that out loud.

“I understand…but I don’t want to give her false hopes. Her fall would be harder if Tora doesn’t wake up…”

“It can’t be harder than that. You must believe in it. Tora won’t die.” Ryouji was trying to stay focused on the road but his mind couldn’t help to think about Tora again and again. “He can’t die…” he repeated.

Akira stared at him with shame. He knew that a part of him was responsible of what happened to Tora. He felt guilty but on the other side, he tried to erase his guilt saying that it was Tora’s fault at the first place. The truth was that he couldn’t support to see Kaoru suffering…

 

They arrived and parked the car, before going inside. Akira opened the door and invited Ryouji to enter. He went directly to his bedroom.

“If you wanna drink something, there’re some beers in the fridge.”

“Thanks.”

Ryouji went to the fridge and took a beer. He opened it and started to drink. He didn’t resist going to Tora’s bedroom. He pushed the door and entered. The room was full of Tora’s scent. He sat on the bed and couldn’t help to take his pillow to smell his scent. He breathed heavily, smelling it. But it made him depressed quickly so he left the bedroom and went to the toilets.

When he finished, he washed his hands. He started to have a headache so he looked for an aspirin in the cupboard. He found what he was looking for when a box of medicaments fell on the floor. He took it and was about to put it where he found it when the name of the medicament caught his attention.

“Doxycycline…”

 It didn’t take him a lot of time to realize what it meant. He put the little box in his pocket when he heard Akira calling him. He joined him in the bathroom. The door was unlocked.

“Ryouji? I finished packing Kaoru and Tora’s clothes. We can leave.”

“I’m coming.” Ryouji left the bathroom, following him dangerously. He kept his eyes on him and approached.

“I just need my cell phone. We left so suddenly for the hospital that I forgot it yesterday.” Akira was looking for it when Ryouji who was still behind him grabbed a vase on the table.

“Don’t bother to look for it. You won’t need it where you’re going.”

Akira frowned hearing that. “What do you…” But he never had the time to finish his sentence…


	11. Losing my integrity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally posted! Thanks for your interest and don't hesitate to tell me what you think. See you soon

Hirose was waiting in a corridor. But after some minutes, he decided to return in the waiting room. The situation didn’t change. Tora was still on life support and they didn’t have any clue about the person who raped him. Ryouji became a bit more depressed and felt useless, without talking about his sister. Kaoru was desperate and stayed by Tora’s side all the day and night. Everybody was exhausted.

“Hirose-san?” a familiar voice interrupted the man in his thoughts. He hadn’t seen or heard Shibuya coming. He lifted his head, ready to confront the kid again, but this time, he wouldn’t be able to contain himself if he would provoke him.

“Listen, Shibuya-kun: if you came to insult me, provoke me or reproach me something that I didn’t stop repeating that I didn’t do, you can fucking shut up because I’m not in the mood to…”

“I came to apologize.”

“Wh..at?”

The kid sat on his left side. “I know that…you’re not Tora’s lover.”

“Ah…well, it’s a good thing you finally believed in me.”

But even knowing that, Shibuya didn’t seem to feel better. He was particularly uncomfortable, keeping his eyes on the floor.

“How long do you know?”

“Hum? You mean about Tora and…his lover?”

“I mean about Tora and Kase-san.”

Hirose understood immediately that the kid knew even more than he imagined. Now, he wasn’t alone in the circle of trust. “How…did you discover it?”

“I heard Kase-san talking to Tora yesterday. I was in the bathroom when I heard him apologizing to Tora for what he had done to him and asking him to give him another chance…He didn’t know I was there…”

“…”

“I didn’t tell anyone…at least, not yet.”

“…”

“Answer me. How long do you know about this?”

“Since the beginning.”

“Did Kase-san tell you?”

“No. He wouldn’t have told me anything.”

“Was it Tora?”

“No. I…caught them…in the middle of...you know what I mean?”

Shibuya blinked. “Are you kidding me???”

“No. Believe me, it was even more embarrassing than you can imagine.”

“Where was that?”

“At Sempai’s home. I invited myself for dinner one night and I fell asleep with Tora in the living room. Sempai went to do it with Tora in the middle of the night, while I was sleeping there…but I heard them and asked them to stop because…” Hirose became completely red.

“Don’t say more!” said Shibuya blushing and raising his hand.

After a long moment of discomfort, Shibuya finally spoke again. “So you knew…and you never did anything to stop them?”

“What could I have done? You saw by yourself how much Tora loves him. It’s not like I could interfere…”

“And that’s all? It doesn’t shock you??”

“That’s more complicated than you can think…”

“What is so complicated? That’s incest! And…that was a rape this night when he came back drunk to his home. How could you have closed your eyes during all this time?”

“…”

“What? Are you telling me by your silence that your Sempai is above the law? That it applies to everybody except him?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then, why didn’t you do anything?”

“Because they love each other.”

“No. Tora loves him…but don’t pretend it’s reciprocal.”

“Sempai has never been good to express his feelings. He’s brutal, arrogant, nasty, egoist…but he changed living with Tora. I was there when we found Tora with Hyodo and Kuroko. Sempai  became completely crazy when he saw what they did to him. The whole squad had to restrain him or he would have killed them…”

“You call this “love”? You’re talking about Hyodo but Ryouji did the same thing to Tora. He even went further. Contrary to him, Hyodo and Kuroko didn’t have the time to do it all the way…”

“Don’t misunderstand Shibuya-kun. I share your point of you. This is incest and it’s not right to have this sort of relationship with a teenager, especially his nephew. But we’re not talking about a father and a son, or two brothers…the more you will try to divide them, the more they will love each other. I don’t know why it has to happen between them, but you can’t go against it.”

“I can’t accept this…”

“Do you really want to break Tora’s heart?”

“Your precious Sempai already broke his heart, raping and dumping him like a piece of trash…”

“Sempai knew he wasn’t a good match for Tora…that’s why he dumped him; don’t imagine it didn’t affect him.”

“I don’t care about what it did to him.”

“Shibuya-kun, please. Don’t say anything to anyone.”

“But…”

“We already have enough problems right now. Sempai is in trouble. He went after Hyodo because he thought he had hurt Tora again before his accident. He has been suspended…and maybe he will be fired…”

“What?”

But Hirose didn’t have the time to explain more that he saw Tora’s mother leaving his bedroom. “Please. Promise me to not say anything…at least, not now. I’m begging you.”

Shibuya turned around and saw Kaoru coming, so he reluctantly accepted. “Alright…I suppose I owe you this to have accused you unfairly.”

“Thank you.” Hirose brushed Shibuya’s hair tenderly, which made him blush. The kid tried to hide his embarrassment the best way he could.

 

 

The two men looked at the poor woman, who sat in front of them.

“How is he?”

“Still on the same state…” she sighted with sadness. “I’m so worried.”

“He will wake up, Miss. Tora is strong. I’m sure he will get better soon…it can’t be different.”

She smiled looking at Shibuya. “Thank you, Shibuya-kun. You’re a real friend. I’m happy to see that Tora can count on you.”

“Where is Sempai?” asked Hirose.

“He went back to home with Akira to bring some clothes for me and Tora. Besides, Akira forgot his meds. We left so quickly when Ryouji called to tell for Tora…”

“His meds?” frowned Hirose. Then, he began to think about something. He didn’t think it was related but it didn’t hurt to ask. “I don’t mean to pry but…what sorts of meds does he take?”

She looked a bit uncomfortable with his question. It was something intimate and it didn’t concern him. “Why do you ask?”

“Just by curiosity…I’m sorry.”

“Hum…never mind. It’s just an anti-infective one. It’s nothing serious…”

Hirose’s face blanked. Anti-infective treatment…meant Akira caught an infective disease, so potentially a STD?

“Doxycycline?”

“Yes…how do you know?”

“Oh God…” Hirose got up abruptly without wasting time. Kaoru and Shibuya wondered what was wrong with him.

“But…where are you going so fast??” called Kaoru.

 

 

Shibuya followed him, chasing after the man who was already outside. Hirose was running like a rocket and seemed to go to the parking. He went inside of the car. Shibuya managed to catch him just in time and came in the car, on the passenger’s seat.

“Hirose-san! What’s going on?”

“I need to go. Get out.”

“I’m  coming with you!”

“No way. Out!”

“If it concerns Tora, I’m coming with you!!”

Hirose understood it was a waste of time to make him change his mind and besides, he couldn’t wait even a second.

“Your belt.”

Shibuya nodded and bucked his safety belt. Hirose turned on the car and drove really fast. He used his siren to go faster. Shibuya was a bit scared about the speed.

“Can you tell me what’s going on? Where are we going?”

“It was him! It was him since the beginning! He was under our noses and we saw nothing!!”

“What are you talking about??”

“Before his accident, Tora had been raped, two or three days ago. The doctor found some traces of sexual abuse when he examined Tora.”

“WHAT???”

“We thought it was Hyodo because he managed to escape from his jail about few days ago. I told you Sempai went after him…but it wasn’t him. It was Akira!!”

“But how do you know?”

“The doctor found a STD in Tora’s analysis. It’s nothing serious, but Doxycycline is a treatment against this disease. It can’t be anyone else!!”

“Oh God…”

“We need to stop Sempai. I don’t know if he’s already aware about this, but we have to catch them before it’s too late!”

Shibuya was still under the shock. Tora, raped by his future step-father? It couldn’t be true.

“We’re almost there. I hope they’re still there…”

“But…why Akira would do something like that? It’s impossible…”

“I know…but it can’t be anyone else. Since you’re Tora’s best friend, did you see him with someone in particular lately?”

“No. Tora and I share the same friends. Plus, he always leaves school with me at the end of the day…”

“It can’t be Sempai. They broke up when Tora moved to live with his mother and Akira. They didn’t do anything since that day. He’s not infected by a STD anyway.”

“God…Tora. Why didn’t you tell me?” sighted Shibuya.

 

 

They arrived few minutes later. They rushed toward the small building and went to their apartment. But the door was closed. They used the bell again and again but no one answered.

“Maybe they already left?” guessed Shibuya.

Hirose didn’t seem to be convinced so he took his cell phone. The network didn’t work, so he renounced and returned to the first floor, to see the janitor.

 

“Police. I need the key of the apartment 89 please. It’s an emergency.”

“What? But…what’s going on?” asked the man, a bit lost.

“No time to explain. Give me the key!” ordered the policeman impatient.

The janitor obeyed and gave him the key. “But technically, I don’t have the right to give it to you…”

“I showed you my badge. I know the people who live in this apartment. You don’t have to worry.”

“But why the police? What happened?”

“I can’t tell you. Did you see Mitsurugi-san accompanied with another man leaving?”

“No…actually, I heard people coming and leaving but I didn’t see who they were. I can’t tell you.”

“Thank you.”

 

Shibuya and Hirose went back to the apartment with the key. They unlocked the door and came in. The place was silent, so there was nobody there.

“Sempai? Akira-san?”

Nobody answered. Shibuya walked in the living room when he saw fragments of a broken vase.

“Hirose-san! Over here!”

“What?” he man rushed toward him.

“Look…there’re also traces of blood…”

Hirose looked the fragments. “We arrived too late. Sempai already knows…” He tried to use his cell phone again several times when it finally worked.

 

“Sempai??”

_“Hirose. I found him.”_

“Sempai! Where are you?”

_“He raped him. He raped him, Hirose. It was Akira…since the beginning, it was him, and I didn’t know.”_

 “Where are you? Are you with him?”

_“I’ll make him pay. I’ll make him regret it…”_

“Sempai, please: Where are you?”

_“He’s gonna pay…He raped Tora…just under my nose, he was there during all this time…I was so blind.”_

“Did you kidnap him? I’m at his home and I saw the fragments of the broken vase. What do you intend to do with him?”

_“I’m not a cop tonight, Hirose. I’m not a cop anymore…”_

“Sempai, I’m begging you, don’t do anything that you could regret!”

_“This is something that I definitely won’t regret…”_

“What about Tora? If you kill him, he would be alone after that. You would be sent in jail for the rest of your life!”

_“I wasn’t there to protect him against this monster…I failed.”_

“We can prove what he did to Tora, but please, tell me where you are.”

_“I told you, Hirose: I’m not a cop tonight_.” Then, Ryouji hung up his phone.

“Sempai! Wait!!” Hirose tried to call him again but it didn’t work. “Damn it!!” he took some minutes to calm down. He needed to think.

 

“Ok, He didn’t kill him yet…I think. He said he would make him pay, so that means Akira is still alive…”

“So, where do you think he brought him?”

Hirose thought. “Maybe I’ve got an idea…I’m gonna check it.”

“I’m coming.”

“No.” This time, Hirose stopped him. “I need you to stay here.”

“But…”

“Please Shibuya-kun. I can’t bring you with me. Not this time. I don’t want you there if things turn bad.”

The kid wanted to protest but Hirose was right and he knew it, so he accepted.

“Alright, but…be careful.”

“Sure. Stay here and call me if there's something new ok? I let you my number.”

 

* * *

 

The car stopped in middle of nowhere. There was just a crumbling barn, near of a dense forest adjacent the abandoned field. Ryouji went of his car and looked around him. No one. The silence was total.

He went to the trunk of the car and opened it. Akira was gagged and tied with an adhesive tape on the mouth. He was struggling desperately.

“End of the ride. Everybody out.”

Ryouji grabbed Akira by the shoulders and threw him on the floor roughly. He pulled his hair and dragged him inside of the old barn. Akira fell on his stomach. He couldn’t recover that Ryouji hit his stomach with his foot.

“Fucking son of bitch!”

“Argh!!”

“Ah…that little farce you played with my sister. You think that would fool me?”

He continued to kick him on the stomach, then in the head.

“I supposed it was easier with Tora, right?”

Ryouji pushed Akira on the floor and removed the adhesive tape. He sat on his stomach and punched him several times, breaking his nose and some of his teeth.

“HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE THAT TO YOUR FIANCÉ’S SON? HOW COULD YOU??”

“En..ough..please..” Akira spat some blood, trying to stay conscious.

“Why? Why did you hurt him? Weren’t you enough sexually satisfied with Kaoru that you needed to rape Tora??”

“I..”

Ryouji punched him again. But despite of the pain, Akira managed to keep his attention on his aggressor, challenging him. “Y..ou th..ink you’r..e bett..er than m..e, Ryo..uji?”

“What does this shit mean?”

“You..aren’t differ..ent fro..m me! This..little slut..gave his..ass..t..o you…”

The tall man looked trouble. Akira knew about his relationship with Tora?

“I..return..the question: How..could you have fucked your…sister’s..son?”

“I didn’t rape him.”

“That’s..what you say but…”

Ryouji cut him in the middle of his sentence slapping his face again.

“ah..ah…” laughed hysterically Akira. “Th..ruth hu..rts, does..it?”

“Shut the fuck up!” Ryouji got up and grabbed a knife in his pocket. He cut the rope which tied Akira’s feet and hands to free him. “I’m a gentleman. I’ll give you the opportunity to defend yourself before killing you. No weapon. Just fists. Show me what you’ve got, little fucker!”

Akira was crawling on the floor. He suddenly saw a crowbar not far away from him. He couldn’t reach it or Ryouji would have noticed so he stayed some minutes on the floor, faking to recover to get more time.

Ryouji approached and kicked his stomach again. “Get up!”

“Argh..”

Akira managed to get on his feet and lifting slowly, he grabbed the crowbar and tried to hit Ryouji with this. Unfortunately for him, the cop saw it before he could touch him and grabbed it. He used it hitting his ribs with it. It was so painful that Akira could even hear his own bones cracking when he received the hit on the ribs. He fell on his knees, holding his hips to protect himself against another attack.

“When did you rape him?”

“Ah..fu..ck..you…”

“Bad answer.” Ryouji used the crowbar to hit his chin which was already broken. The man fell on the ground again, spiting blood.

“I looked for Tora’s rapist in the whole town when you were just in front of me. I trusted you…”

“Ah…Ka..oru trusted..you too…what..do y.ou think she..w..ould feel..when she will discover…what you did to her son?”

Ryouji pushed his torso with his foot making fall on his back again and raised the crowbar in the air to give him a hard blow. Akira tried to run away crawling but he hadn’t been fast enough that the bar broke his left leg.

“AAAARGh!!!”

“I’ll make sure that you will never hurt him again.” He took his gun on his back and pointed it toward the man.

“you…are..yo..u sure..you wan..t to make your..sister..a..widow?”

“When she would know what you did to her son, believe me, she won’t shed even a single tear for your pitiful and worthless life.”

“And…what will..you..explain..to the..Pol..ice? Y..ou can’t..prove any..thing..”

“I don’t think it concerns you anymore.” He approached and put the gun on his forehead, ready to shoot him.

 

“SEMPAI! STOP!!”

Ryouji turned his head to see Hirose. He didn’t hear him coming. “How did you find me?”

“I got the signal of your cell phone; I knew there was nothing in this place except this old barn…” Hirose moved closer. “Sempai…please.”

“Get out of my way. I told you I’m not a cop tonight.”

“I can’t leave. You know I can’t. I’m begging you, don’t do that.”

“HE RAPED TORA!”

“I know what he did. But it won’t change anything if you kill him now. On the contrary, you will make it worse.”

“It can’t be worse than that. Tora in on life support and he probably would never recover from what this bastard did to him.”

“We can prove he raped Tora. We have enough evidences to send him in jail. You don’t need to kill him.”

“You…liar…” murmured Akira.

“You think I’m bluffing? Unfortunately for you, you didn’t think useful to use a condom before raping the poor Tora, so now, he’s infected by the STD you contracted. It would be easy for us to compare your infected cells and Tora’s ones.” Replied Hirose.

Akira grimaced with pain and anger. He knew he was in trouble. But after a short time, he smiled evilly. “You…forgot..something…”

“What?”

“If…you arrest me, I’ll tell what I know..and I’ll destroy your reputation, your career and everything. I raped this bloody kid, but you had sex with him more than once, even if…he’s..your nephew..and that..you’re a cop! You really wanna see me opening my mouth saying that to your sister…and in front of your colleagues?” laughed Akira.

Ryouji punched him again. “Shut up. You can’t prove anything anyway.”

“Yo..u th..ink..so? Ah..so funny…”

“What do you have against me?”

“A..pi..cture…so..if i..have..to fall..I’ll drag..you..wi..th me!”

“Who cares?” asked Hirose. “Do you really think people would give credit to your word compared to Sempai?”

“?”

“Sempai is a respected officer of the law, well known in this city. You’re a rapist who abused his step-son in law. Who do you think people would believe? Everyone would think you just try to avoid prison lying about your crime and accusing the others. Your fiancé would never believe you when she would know what you did to Tora.”

“Wh..at about..the picture?”

“Everything can be deleted. It would be your word against Sempai’s one.”

“You’re…fucking..corrupted!”

“Save your energy now. You’re finished.” Hirose reached Ryouji’s side. “Please Sempai. Don’t kill him.”

“He..was under my nose since the beginning. I let Tora living with this monster…it’s as if I gave Tora to him…”

“You couldn’t know. Nobody knew…”

“It was my job to protect him…and I did nothing. I let him fall in his hands…there’s no way I’ll let him live!!” He put the gun on Akira’s forehead again, when Hirose grabbed his hand.

“Don’t do that.”

“Give me a single good reason to not do that!”

“Tora.”

“I said a good reason! And it’s for him I’ll do it!!”

“What do you think Tora would feel when he would wake up? I don’t want to tell him that the person he loves became enraged and killed his rapist to avenge him.”

“…”

“If you do that, you would be sent in jail and you wouldn’t be there when Tora would wake up. Is that what you want?”

“I want this bastard pays for what he did!”

“He will pay…but not this way. Please. Tora wouldn’t want to see you doing this, so please…stop it.”

Akira lifted his head to touch the gun with his forehead. He was fixing Ryouji in the eyes to challenge him, as if he was saying “you don’t have the balls to kill me”.

Ryouji was shaking hard. His heart was screaming to pull the trigger, but his reason was thinking the same way as Hirose. What would Tora think about him if he did that?

“Release him, Sempai. Please…it’s over.”

Hirose approached slowly his hand from Ryouji’s one and moved it away from Akira’s head. After a short time, Ryouji finally accepted and got up to let Hirose arresting Akira.

“Akira Mitsurugi, you’re under arrest for violence, sexual assault and rape of a minor. You have the right to keep silent…” Hirose was saying his rights to Akira and took the handcuffs on his back when Akira grabbed his gun and shot him on the shoulder.

“Fucker!!” Akira stood up, ready to shoot him again, when Ryouji used his gun and shot several times Akira in the chest and in the head, emptying his clip on him to protect Hirose. Akira fell on his back again, shot deadly.

After some seconds, Hirose managed to get up to check if Akira was dead, touching his neck to find his pulse. He shook his head to Ryouji who stayed immobile.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine…thanks to you, Sempai.”

“It’s over now…he’s dead.”

“Yes…and it changes everything.”

“What does it change?”

“Self-defense.” Hirose grabbed his cell phone with his other hand and called the police station. “Send a patrol at the old barn on the local road 58. One officer injured and the aggressor is dead….yes…Ok. Send an ambulance there too. Thanks…”

He ended his conversation but didn’t hang up his phone. He composed another number.

“Who are you calling?”

 

Hirose didn’t reply. He waited, when someone answered.

_“Hello?”_

“Shibuya-kun, Hirose’s speaking. Are you still at Tora’s home?”

_“Yes. Where are you? What happened? Did you find Kase-san?”_

“Yes I’m with him right now. Akira is dead.”

_“Oh no…”_

“It was self-defense. He didn’t kill him on purpose. But it doesn’t matter right now. I need your help.”

_“What can I do?”_

“Can you check Akira’s cell phone and computer please?”

_“Now?”_

“Yes.”

_“But…why?”_

“I need you find a picture. Turn it on please, I’m waiting.”

_“Ok, just a minute…”_

“Take your time.”

During this, Ryouji was looking at Hirose, perplex. “What are you doing?”

“I know what I’m doing.”

Shibuya took the call again. _“Hirose-san? I turned it on. What should I look for?”_

“A picture of… Sempai and Tora. Akira said he took a picture of them and kept it as an evidence of their relationship.”

_“…”_ Shibuya checked the cell phone and the computer; Fortunately, Akira didn’t lock it with a code. _“I found it…there’s just one picture, showing Tora and Kase-san…kissing each other._ ” The kid looked a bit sad. _“So…it was true_?” he thought.

“Delete it.”

_“What??? Are you serious???”_

“Please Shibuya-kun. I perfectly know what I’m asking you…but please. Delete it.”

_“But…”_

“Akira is dead. We can’t let Tora’s mother know about this…I understand it’s not right to ask you this, but…please. Delete it.”

Shibuya kept silent. He didn’t want to do something against the law but he also thought that Tora wouldn’t appreciate to see the person he loved hated and treated as a monster by his sister and his colleagues if they knew what sort of relationship he had with Tora. He understood Hirose’s request, so he did it.

_“It’s done.”_

“Thank you very much Shibuya-kun. I owe you this. Please, check his computer to be sure he didn’t keep another picture.”

_“Ok.”_

“I’ll come to pick you when the police would arrive. Wait for me there.”

_“Fine.”_

“Thanks again. See you.” He hung up the phone and sat on the floor to rest.

 

Ryouji took off his vest and gave it to Hirose, checking his injury. “Why did you do that?”

“You’re already in trouble. We don’t need this incest thing in addition of that.”

“It doesn’t explain why. Why do you help me that much?”

“Because…we’re friends, Sempai.”

“Aren’t you disgusted about me?”

“Why should i?”

“You ask me why? Maybe because I fucked my own nephew? Maybe because I hurt and treated him like a shit? Maybe because I provoked his car accident when I ran after him? Or maybe because i let this fucking bastard abusing him???” shouted Ryouji enraged.

“…”

He sighted, hiding his face with his hand. The shame was unbearable. “He was right…I’m not better than him.”

“You’re not like him, Sempai.”

“I abused Tora the same way. I forced him to have sex with me, even when he didn’t want to…do you realize I forced him to have sex with me the first time just after what happened with Hyodo? He was still under the shock but I didn’t give a shit. I just needed to stick my fucking dick in his ass and I never considered he wasn’t in condition mentally to do that…without talking about the fact I’m his uncle and his tutor when his mother was at New-York. I’m the worst human-being it could exist.”

“Sempai don’t say that…”

 “I blamed Akira but I’m a million times worse than him. I raped Tora too…and the worst is that I abused him knowing his feelings for me.”

“Tora never considered that you raped him.”

“Because he’s in love with me. He can’t think objectively when it’s me…”

“It applies to you either. Do you realize how far have you gone for him in two days? You corrupted yourself interfering in Yakuza’s business to find Hyodo. You abandoned your career and chased his rapist to kill him. Don’t you think you deserve forgiveness for your faults?”

“He came to my house this night. I’m sure he felt in danger because of Akira…and I just brought him back to the belly of the beast. I could have protected him and in the end I gave him to his rapist on a silver platter…”

“You couldn’t know. Tora didn’t tell you anything.”

“He couldn’t. Akira probably threatened him to show this picture to his mother or to the police to ruin my career and our family. He knew that if he had said that to me, I would have killed him…”

“Sempai, listen: you’ve been rude with Tora. You didn’t treat him gently, it’s true. But I know how much you care about him. I also know Tora loves you from all of his heart. Your relationship isn’t really normal…but it’s not like you were his father or his brother. You two didn’t choose to love each other so you can’t help it.”

“Who said I loved him?”

“You don’t?”

“…”

“Your silence talks for yourself.” Hirose smiled with malice. “I’m calling the boss.”

 

 

One hour later, the police arrived with the coroner and an ambulance. Their boss went directly to Hirose to know what happened. After a long explanation, Hirose went to the doctor to treat his wound. The boss joined Ryouji who was waiting, sat in his car.

“Kase…”

“I suppose Hirose told you everything?”

“Yes. But even if it was a case of self-defense, you kidnapped and beat the victim…You went too far.”

“I regret nothing.”

The boss sighted. “The internal affairs were already on your back for Hyodo, but now…there’s nothing I can do for you.”

Ryouji just shrugged.

“Do you realize what it means? You already lost your job and you’re gonna be judged!”

“I repeat: I regret nothing.”

 

Another man from the internal affairs joined them. He made a sign with his head to ask the Boss to leave them alone. He nodded and let them. The man faced Ryouji, crossing his arms.

“We trusted you, Kase-san and you disobeyed.”

“I couldn’t stay without doing something.”

“Do you think what you did is effective or changes anything for your nephew?”

“Do you think I do give a flying fuck?”

“Don’t make it worse, Kase-san.”

“So what? What do you expect from me? Regret? Shame? No way in hell! I’m fucking glad to see this fucking bastard dead!”

“You killed your sister’s fiancé.”

“I killed my nephew’s rapist.”

“Are you sure it was him?”

“He confessed it.”

“Yes. Hirose-san told us he recognized it. But didn’t you force his confession?”

“No. I didn’t need it. He was so sure of himself that he thought I would have never discovered it.”

“Why didn’t you tell us that your nephew had contracted a STD? It could have helped our investigation and proved that Hyodo wasn’t guilty.”

“He had to be arrested anyway.”

“Well, you’ve got this point but it doesn’t explain how you discovered where he was.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It does. Tell me.”

Ryouji took a cigarette. “An informant. That’s all what I can tell you.”

The man understood Ryouji wouldn’t tell him so he gave up. “You’re under arrest for involuntary manslaughter, kidnapping, assault and battery. We’re gonna advise you of your legal rights.”

“I already know it. No need to bother; besides, I have no intention to request a lawyer.”

“What?”

“I’ll pledge guilty for all the charges. I confirm Hirose’s words, so spare me this. I only have two requests.”

“Which ones?”

“I want to explain everything to my sister personally and I want to see my nephew a last time.”

The man seemed to be hesitant. It wasn’t usual to do this, but Ryouji was one of them, a cop, so he kinda understood him.

“Alright but you will be escorted. We’ll let you talk with your sister and see your nephew in privacy.”

“Of course. Thank you.”

The man sighted. “Damn, Kase-san…you could have spared us this. Do you realize what’s gonna happen to you now?”

“I don’t care.”

“What about your sister?”

“I know…but it had to be done. I couldn’t let this monster live after what he did to my nephew.”

“Do you think it was what he would have wanted for you? To see you becoming a criminal?”

Ryouji had enough and looked at him, exhausted. “I’m not a common fucker that you arrest every day, Sir. I’m a cop and I don’t compare myself to these bastards. I know what I did and I will take my responsibilities, so don’t try to sermon me because it doesn’t work. I have no regret and I perfectly knew what I did when I brought him here…I just regret that Hirose has been hurt. That’s all. So, can we go now?”

He didn’t insist. Ryouji was stubborn and it was already a miracle that he hadn’t lost control, yelling. When everybody looked at him, the only thing that they could see in Ryouji was a ghost; a body without soul…a broken man. All of them had consideration for him and felt sorry for his family. Nobody could understand what he was feeling.

 

* * *

 

On the road to reach the hospital, Hirose sent a message discreetly to Shibuya.

“ _I’m on the road for the hospital for my wound. I can’t come to pick you now, so leave the apartment immediately. Please, be discreet. Thank you.”_

Few seconds later, he received an answer. “ _What’s going on? So, you have been injured??”_

_“Nothing serious, don’t worry. Just leave this place. You don’t need to stay there. Can you call a taxi and join us at the hospital? I will pay for it.”_

_“Ok…Take care.”_

_“Thanks again.”_

Hirose smiled thinking about Shibuya. The kid was nice. Actually, he preferred him this way, because he was particularly aggressive when he thought he was Tora’s lover. But even this side of him was cute. It was really touching to see how much Shibuya cared about Tora to protect him this way. But Hirose shook his head vigorously, erasing these pictures from his head.

_“What’s wrong with me? It’s not the right time to have these sorts of thoughts! Anyway, I’m not even gay, so why do I think about Shibuya-kun this way??”_ he wondered, blushing.

 

* * *

 

Ryouji arrived at the hospital few hours later. His sister was completely disoriented, wondering what was going on. She tried to call Akira and Ryouji several times after the sudden departure of Hirose, but nobody answered. When she saw Ryouji walking toward her, escorted by two policemen, she ran to him, panicked.

“Ryouji! What’s wrong? Where’s Akira? I tried to call you two and…”

Her brother moved closer and held her shaking shoulders tightly to make her relax. Now, he had to tell her everything. He gave a quick glance to his colleagues, who nodded before leaving them alone.

“Come with me to the waiting room. I’ve something important to tell you.”

“Ryouji…what is it? You’re scaring me!”

“Please Kaoru. Come with me. You better sit down because what I have to tell you isn’t easy.”

She followed him and sat in the first chair on her way without ever breaking the eye-contact with Ryouji.

He took a large breath and sat in front of her, holding her hands. “Some good news about Tora?” he asked.

She shook her head sadly. “No…he’s still on life support.”

“I see. Don’t lose faith.”

“Faith is cruel…It was what I said to myself for Dad and my husband until the end but…”

“But it’s not similar. Tora has to wake up. He can’t die.”

She looked touched to see how much Ryouji seemed to care about her son. “It’s so funny…”

“What?”

“Seeing you so worried for him.”

“Do you think I’m that heartless?”

“No! Of course not! It’s just surprising, that’s all. I remember the first time you two met. Tora absolutely hated you…”

“I can’t blame him. I hadn’t been really nice this day…and it didn’t change even today…”

“Why do you say that? That’s not true. You’re worried for him as I am. Besides, you two seemed to get along pretty well when I came back from America…”

“Tora can’t hate anybody, so that’s not surprising.”

“Yes. I just hope that he will get along the same way with Akira. By the way, where is he? Since you brought him to home, weren’t you supposed to be with him?”

Ryouji’s face changed abruptly, becoming serious again.

“Kaoru…it’s about him that I want to talk. Something happened…and when I would end this discussion with you, I will go to jail. That’s why I need you to keep faith for Tora. Now, he just has you and I won’t be able to be there for him anymore…”

 

* * *

 

Hirose refused to stay at the hospital for his wound. The doctor wanted to keep him under observation just to be on the safe side but he hadn’t even a second to lose to rest. Ryouji needed him and Shibuya was still waiting for him. He left the emergencies service and went to visit Tora’s room.

When he arrived, Shibuya was already there, waiting in front of the door. The doctor had asked him to stay out until they finished their check up.

“Shibuya-kun.”

The kid turned around and saw him. “Hirose-san! How are you???”

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” He replied, smiling.

“Thank God…you worried me on the phone when you told me you had been shot. Wouldn’t be better to stay to have some rest? You don’t look good at all…”

“It’s ok. It’s bearable and they gave me painkillers. Since how long have you been there?”

“I arrived about one hour ago. I wanted to take a taxi but my mom called me. She deposed me at the hospital.”

“Is she still there?”

“Yes. I saw her talking with Tora’s mother but Kase-san just arrived about few minutes ago. She went to the cafeteria to have a coffee.”

“Did you tell anything to Tora’s mother?”

“No. I thought it wasn’t my role to tell her…and to be honest with you, I didn’t really want to…”

“I understand. You’re right, it’s not your role.”

Shibuya sighted. He was exhausted and with these emotions, he didn’t know what to think or what to do anymore. He felt completely useless for Tora.

“I’m sorry to have asked you something like that, Shibuya-kun. I know it was wrong but I couldn’t ask to anybody else…I’m sorry.”

“….”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No…it’s just that I don’t understand why you do this for Kase-san.”

Hirose smiled at him. “Wouldn’t you have done the same thing for Tora-kun?”

Shibuya looked down. He knew what Hirose meant, but he couldn’t accept it. Of course he would have done it for Tora. But Tora was his best-friend. Hirose was just Ryouji’s colleague.

“Besides, it wasn’t just for Sempai. It was also for Tora-kun that I asked you this. I didn’t want to involve you in this mess, but Tora suffered enough and I don’t think he needed this in addition of that.”

“Yes you’re right. But Kase-san doesn’t deserve him…or your friendship.”

Hirose couldn’t help to brush with his hand Shibuya’s hair with affection. “Tora-kun is lucky to have such a loyal friend like you. Your concern for him is really touching, Shibuya-kun. But you can’t change people’s feelings…”

“Hirose-san…I don’t want to see him hurting Tora anymore. You can’t ask me to approve this.”

“I know. To be honest, when I heard what happened with Tora-kun this night when Sempai was drunk, I was really shocked and mad at him. Being a brute didn’t justify anything…but I think he realized the gravity of his actions. Plus, he paid enough…”

“What do you mean? He hasn’t paid at all for what he did.”

“You really think so? The person he loves has been raped and is on life support. He lost his job and he’s gonna be judged for Akira’s murder. Don’t you think it’s enough?”

“He earned it. But Tora paid the same price, if it’s not even more, when he did nothing to deserve this.”

“Yes…but please. Just keep this for you. This is a personal request. Can I have your word?”

“….” Shibuya hesitated, but in front of Hirose’s insistence, he didn’t have the courage to refuse. “Ok. My lips are sealed.”

“Thank you."

"But don’t expect from me that I forgive this bastard. He can be your Sempai, he’s a monster for me.”

“I don’t ask you that much, don’t worry.”  Hirose began to feel a bit weak. He almost fell on his knees when Shibuya held him.

“Hirose-san! Are you ok?”

“Sorry. I’m fine, I’m fine! I’m just a bit tired…”

“You need to rest. Let’s sit.” Shibuya helped him to walk and they sat on the first bench they saw. “I’m gonna look for a nurse or a doctor. Wait for me here.”

“No need to do that.”

“But…”

“I just need to rest few minutes, that’s all. Can you stay with me?”

“Sure…but I would be more reassured to see a doctor taking care of you…”

“It’s alright…just a moment please…” Hirose put his head on Shibuya’s shoulder and closed his eyes to have some rest. He was exhausted. He hadn’t slept a lot these last days and had been extremely stressed. Being with Shibuya seemed to help him to relax.

On the other side, even if the kid was a bit embarrassed about the uncomfortable situation, he liked to be with Hirose, so there was no way he would push him away.

 

* * *

 

The hardest part had been done for Ryouji. His sister needed to be evacuated because of the shock. They brought her in a room and gave her a sedative. It had been really hard for her and she wasn’t in condition to speak or to understand clearly the situation. To prevent any risk of an anxiety or heart attack, the doctor and Ryouji decided to let her rest to recover. She had cried and cried again. Ryouji couldn’t even say if she was mad at him or not because after had received so many information, she was totally lost.

He went back to the guards after had accompanied her sister to her room.  

“I just want five minutes alone with my nephew and I’ll follow you.”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.” Ryouji walked away and reached Tora’s room. A guard followed him but waited outside when he came in. But when Ryouji entered, he realized there was already someone there.

“What are you doing here?” asked harshly Shibuya.

“I came to say goodbye to Tora.” Replied calmly Ryouji, approaching.

The kid glared at him but didn’t leave. Ryouji completely ignored him and stayed focused on Tora. He knew these moments were the last ones he would share with him, so nothing really mattered anymore.

“I know it’s you.”

“What?”

“Tora’s lover I mean…or I would say Tora’s abusive lover.”

The tall man even didn’t flinch or reply. He didn’t care at all, but he was curious to know how Shibuya discovered it. “Who told you this?”

“No one. I heard you talking to Tora the last time in this same room. I was in the bathroom.”

Ryouji didn’t seem to remember or to mind.

“You don’t deserve him.”

“….”

“Tora really loves you, and I wonder why.”

“I asked this to myself more than once…”

“And you never thought to stop, or at least to apologize?”

“Where is the point to apologize when you don’t deserve forgiveness? I can’t go back in the past. I can’t change anything. I have to live with this.”

“Don’t look to me for pity. It doesn’t work.”

“Do I look for your pity? You can think whatever you want, I don’t care.”

“I figured out. You never cared about anyone in your whole life anyway. Tora talked to me a lot about you. You’re so selfish.”

“I will be far away from him in five minutes. I won’t be able to hurt him anymore.”

“That’s a good thing!”

“….” Nothing seemed to touch Ryouji. Reproaches, hatred, anger…absolutely nothing. It was as if he closed his heart forever.  

“I wonder why Hirose-san respects you that much…He even corrupted himself to help you.”

“Why did you do that?”

“What?”

“Deleting the picture of Tora and me. Tell me.”

“I haven’t done it for you but because Hirose-san asked me…and for Tora.”

“Well, thanks.”

“I repeat. I haven’t done it for you.”

“I know.” Ryouji looked at Shibuya. “Can you leave us alone please?”

“You really think that I’m gonna let you alone with him after all what you did?”

“What do you think I’m gonna do him in his state, bloody idiot? Fucking him, maybe?”

“Who knows? You’re a sadistic pervert after all so nothing can surprise me coming from you!”

Ryouji wanted to punch him in the face, but he couldn’t do that in front of Tora. Besides, he knew he deserved Shibuya’s reproaches. After all, it was what he thought about himself.

“Please. I won’t be long. Five minutes. That’s all.”

“….” Shibuya wanted to stay but on the other side, Hirose would be mad at him if he knew he refused this to Ryouji, so he accepted, walking away, but keeping his eyes on him.

He was about to reach the door when Ryouji called him.

“Shibuya.”

The kid stayed on his back and stopped moving to listen to him.

“I suppose I don’t need to ask you this but…take care of him please. He will need your support when he will wake up.”

“You suppose correctly: you didn’t need to ask me…but I will.” Then, the boy opened the door and left.

 

 

Ryouji approached and caressed Tora’s cheek tenderly. His skin was still soft but a bit cold.

“Hey. I’m back.”

He sat on the bed and took Tora’s hand. “It’s over. I made him pay for what he did to you, and Hyodo went back to jail, so you have nothing to fear anymore.”

This silence was hard to support. Tora stayed quiet, still unconscious, while Ryouji was trying to make him react.

“You know, when I met you the first time at your father’s funerals, I absolutely hated you. It wasn’t your fault, but I couldn’t help to see me though you at your age. Actually, it wasn’t your but my own weakness that I hated to see. I fought hard to erase this feeling…this weakness. And I did it. But doing that, I became insensitive, cold…I built a shell around myself that I thought nobody would ever be able to break…and you arrived in my life. You were the last in the world that I would think capable of doing that.”

His gestures were gentle. He would give anything to see Tora opening his eyes and waking up…anything.

“You got me, little bastard. I have to admit that it was nice...but short.”

He moved closer and deposed a kiss on his forehead. “I don’t think we will ever see each other again…so I wish you the best.”

Ryouji closed his eyes to find the strength to say a last thing. Something he never had said in his whole life to anyone.

“I love you.”

These three little words sounded bitter now. Tora had wished to hear it so many times…and now, he wasn’t even conscious to be able to hear Ryouji saying it. Three little words that Ryouji always refused to pronounce, thinking stupidly that if he didn’t say it, it meant that he didn’t feel that way…three little words which would have changed a lot of things if only Ryouji had said it earlier.

“Goodbye Tora.”

 

Ryouji got up and walked away without turning around. He didn’t want to see Tora’s face a last time because he knew he wouldn’t have been capable to leave. Everything was over now.

He joined the guards in the corridor, who were waiting for him with their boss. “I’m ready.”

 

* * *

 

Few days later.

Since Ryouji refused to retain a lawyer, his trial began quickly. He pledged guilty for all the charges, and during the whole day, the court listened to the witnesses and their testimony. Hirose and all of his colleagues came to support him. His sister Kaoru was also there, like Shibuya. Akira’s family came too, but stayed away from Kaoru.

After had heard everyone, the court left to deliberate. They came back few hours later.

“Defendant Detective Kase Ryouji will please rise.”

Ryouji stood up and faced the jury with strength. He wasn’t afraid at all, probably because he already accepted his fate.

“Since you pledged guilty for all the charges, the court finds you guilty of kidnapping, violence and murder of Akira Mitsurugi. The court agreed with the conclusions of the internal affairs and considered you acted in a case of self-defeasance. We also find you guilty to have disobeyed to your superior’s instructions, to have interfered in an investigation and violence on the prisoner Hyodo Masako. We excluded the attempt of murder.”

The tall man stayed impassible. People were whispering in the audience. His colleagues tried their best to show their support hoping to get the jury’s clemency.

“In conclusion, Defendant Kase Ryouji is removed from his post definitively. The court considered that there were extenuating circumstances and also held the good service records of the defendant. So the court sentences him to imprisonment for a term of four years. The defendant would be liable for parole having served two years of his sentence. The court is adjourned.”

In the audience, Ryouji’s colleagues complained about the sentence. They protested but couldn’t do anything for him. They moved closer and some of them tried to comfort Ryouji the best way they could. But after few minutes, the guards made them leave. Only Hirose and Kaoru were allowed to say a last goodbye to him.

“Sempai…”

“Good luck to you, Hirose. And…thanks for everything.”

“I wish I could have helped you more…”

“You’ve done enough.” Then, Ryouji faced his sister.

“Ryouji…It’s my fault. I should have never brought Akira to our lives…nothing would have happened.”

“You couldn’t know. Now, just be there for Tora and take care of him.”

They hugged each other before being divided. Ryouji left, escorted by the guards.

 

One hour later, he left the tribunal for the central prison. Four years. Actually, it wasn’t a big sentence…but for a cop in jail, it was an eternity. Ryouji would probably meet some old acquaintances he sent himself there…being a cop in jail was even worse than being a pedophile or a rapist for the other prisoners.


	12. Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience, guys. I hope you'll like this chapter.

“Come with us.”

Ryouji followed the guards in another room.

“We know who you are, Kase-san, but this rule applies for everyone. Take your clothes off.”

Ryouji nodded and stripped. He perfectly knew the prisoners had to be searched before entering in the prison. He stayed on his back, waiting for the guard. The man behind him put plastic gloves and moved closer.

“Hands on the wall and spread your legs.”

The situation was degrading but he couldn’t help it. It was just the beginning. After five minutes, they finished and they held him his uniform.

“For the first days, we placed you at the isolation for your own safety. But you will be with the other prisoners soon…”

“I know.”

The two guards seemed to be uncomfortable with this. Ryouji was one of them and they knew that gossips spread fast here. People probably already knew about the presence of a cop in jail and one day, they would attack him.

“You know…it’s really unfair. I mean, you did the right thing and you shouldn’t have been condemned for this.” Said one of the men, to support him.

Ryouji didn’t really care about his compassion and kept quiet. He just nodded to thank him. It wasn’t the right time to make more enemy that he already had.

They arrived in the corridor and passed in front of several cells. The prisoners became aggressive and did obscene moves when they saw Ryouji walking. It was like this every time there was a new prisoner.

“Hey, hey! Honey! Wanna play with Daddy?”

“Look at this ass!”

“Hello Baby! Welcome!”

Ryouji ignored them but couldn’t help to roll his eyes mentally. “ _What the fuck I’m doing here?”_

The guards arrived in front of a cell and introduced the key. During this time, the prisoner in the cell next to Ryouji’s approached and smiled viciously.

“I heard about you, Cop. I hope you’re prepared because we’re gonna take care of you. This way, you will join your nice nephew soon…” told the big guy.

Mentioning Tora provoked Ryouji immediately but he tried to keep his cool. The man understood it and continued to provoke him.

“Poor little thing…such a waste. I love little boys, especially teenagers. Their ass is so tight and so warm…mmh! Just thinking about this makes me horny!”

Ryouji let his clothes and sheets falling on the floor and pulled the man by his hair to make his face hitting the bars. The violence of the hit broke his nose and made him bleed. The guards interfered and grabbed Ryouji by the waste to drag him away from the prisoner.

“Son of bitch! You’re dead! You’re fucking dead, COP!”

“Come and get me! I’m waiting for you, Fucking PIG!!” replied Ryouji, struggling.

“ENOUGH!” shouted the guards. But the two men continued to insult each other until Ryouji finally came in his cell. They closed the doors and let him calm down. They went to the injured man right after that, to bring him to the infirmary.

Ryouji took several minutes to calm down, breathing heavily as if he had made an intense physical effort. But when the tension finally went down, he screamed enraged and began to hit the wall with his fists violently until he bled. It was just another way to express his frustration. After five minutes, he stopped and fell on his knees, exhausted.

“Fuck off…”

 

* * *

 

At the hospital, Tora’s mother was still waiting for a miracle. Her kid was still in coma, but his state was stable. Shibuya came every day after school. Sometimes, Hirose visited him to get some news. Kaoru was thankful to him because she knew he tried everything to stop Ryouji to not kill Akira and he did. Unfortunately, things turned bad. Now she was alone.

One afternoon.

“Hi.”

Kaoru turned around. “Oh. Shibuya. Nice to see you.”

“Thanks Miss. How is he?”

“As always. His state is stable…” She sighted, exhausted.

“Would you like a coffee or something else?”

“No thanks. I already took one.”

“You look tired…”

“Yeah, I am. I don’t sleep very well.”

“Maybe you should go back to home to have some rest? You probably passed the entire day here, you need some sleep.”

“It’s not just because of the lack of sleep that I’m exhausted. It’s this situation which is wearing me out…”

“I know, Miss. I’d like to do something to help you but…”

“You’re already helping me with your presence, Shibuya. Tora is lucky to have such a good friend who cherishes him that much. Thanks for your support.”

“I don’t think I deserve his friendship. I should have helped him but I was too blind to see anything…”

“If there’s someone to blame, it’s me and me only. I’m his mother. I should be the one to protect him and I brought a monster to our home and I let him rape my son. And as if it wasn’t enough, I involved my brother in this and now he lost his job and he’s in jail!”

Mentioning Ryouji's case didn’t seem to affect Shibuya. He had promised to Hirose to not say a word about his relationship whit Tora but he still hated him and couldn’t feel compassion for him. For Shibuya, Ryouji had what he deserved.

“The man I loved raped my son and died, Tora is in coma and Ryouji in jail. I don’t think I can stand below…”

“Hold on, Miss. Tora will wake up soon and…your brother will be free in four years.”

“Sometimes I feel I’m cursed. My father died when I was a teenager, then my husband, now this is my fiancé…I’m so terrified to imagine that Tora could suffer the same fate…”

“It won’t happen!” said Shibuya with confidence, as if he was trying to convince himself. When he saw her reaction, he found his cool again and tried to be calmer. “Don’t lose faith. I believe in Tora, so you have to trust him too. He can do it.”

She smiled, as if what Shibuya said helped her to get better. “You’re right. Thank you.”

“You really should go back to home. Eat something hot and have some sleep, you need it.”

“Yes. I look horrible in this state.” She approached and brushed her son’s hair. “I’ll be back tomorrow, honey. Goodnight.” She kissed Tora’s forehead tenderly and turned around to face Shibuya before giving him a big hug. “Take care of him, Shibuya.”

“O..Of course. Leave this to me.” Replied the teen , blushing.

She released him and took her bag on the chair. “See you tomorrow then.”

“Bye Miss.”

 

Tora’s mother left. Shibuya took the chair and sat. He sent a message to his mother saying that he was at the hospital and that he would be back later. He waited some seconds before receiving her answer. He put his cell phone in his pocket again and fixed Tora.

“Tora…why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you…” he said out loud, hoping to have a reaction from his friend. But nothing.

“I’m saying that, but I know I wouldn’t have told you anything if I had been in your place. I suppose you didn’t want to cause us trouble. You have always been like that…thinking about the others first.” He continued to say, with melancholy.

“I’m so sorry my friend. I was incapable to help you…”

“You helped him, Shibuya-kun. Stop blaming yourself.” Said a familiar voice behind him.

Shibuya turned around and recognized Hirose who was standing here behind him. “Hirose-san. Sorry I didn’t hear you come in…”

“No problem.” Hirose approached and sat next to him, dragging a second chair. “I just saw Tora’s mother leaving. She told me you were with him.”

“Yeah…I’ve tried to comfort her but she’s really down.”

“I saw that. It’s not easy for her…or for you. You look tired.”

“I’ve no right to complain compared to her, or to Tora.”

“You keep coming every day after school. You shouldn’t neglect your studies. It’s not Tora would like for you…”

“Stop talking as if he was already dead!” replied Shibuya exasperated.

“Hey! No need to be so aggressive, ok? I just say that for your own good…” said Hirose, a bit hurt.

Shibuya regretted immediately his reaction and apologized. “Sorry…I’m a bit tired and upset lately.”

“It’s ok. I understand.”

“It has been almost three months and nothing changed. I wonder if Tora would wake one day. I tried to look confident in front of his mother but days pass and we are at the same point.”

“There’s nothing else to do right now. We have to wait.”

“I’m tired to wait…”

“Me too…but if it’s hard for us, I can’t imagine what Sempai is living right now in jail. Being a cop in prison is even worse than being a pedophile…”

“That’s exactly what he is so he is at the right place for someone like him.” He said bitterly.

Hirose fixed him with anger and pain. “Don’t be so nasty. He paid enough for his mistakes.”

“I wouldn’t talk about “mistakes” but crimes.”

“It was self-defense.”

“I wasn’t talking about Akira.”

“I got it, thanks! I’m not that slow…”

“…”

During some seconds, no one talked. Hirose didn’t want to argue with the kid so he didn’t try to explain or make him change his mind. He had no strength to do it anyway. It was finally Shibuya who broke the uncomfortable silence.

“You’re a good man, Hirose-san, so why do you defend him that much?”

“You would dot the same thing for Tora.”

“But Tora is my best friend.”

“And Sempai is my friend too.”

“He’s not your friend but your colleague. He is too selfish to be friendly with anyone.”

“You blame Sempai but have you ever wondered why Tora loves him?”

“No…and to be honest I can’t see any good reason to understand his feelings for him.”

“But when you discovered Tora loved a man, did it bother you?”

“No! Ok, it was a bit surprising but he’s my friend. Knowing he dated a man or someone older than him wasn’t a problem. Actually, even knowing he dated his uncle could have been kinda “acceptable” if only his “lover” treated him good…”

“I see what you mean. I also reproached it to Sempai and I advised him more than once to not play with Tora’s feelings selfishly, but I think he just couldn’t let him go.”

“Why?”

“Because he already fell in love with Tora but he was incapable to admit it. Hurting Tora was just a way to not admit his feelings but keeping him by his side in the same time.”

“I’m not sure about this. It looks too complicated but maybe you just don’t want to see how things are.”

“Your hatred makes your blind, Shibuya.”

“I think this is your loyalty which makes you blind, Hirose-san. But you owe him nothing. Sorry but he has what he deserves.”

Hirose gave up. “Let’s stop talking about this. We won’t change anything and I don’t wanna argue with you.”

Shibuya agreed.

“Wanna drink something?” proposed Hirose.

“Sure.”

The two men left the room for some minutes to have a drink at the coffee machine in the corridor. Hirose brought a coffee and a hot chocolate for Shibuya.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Hirose smiled seeing the teenager blushing. He became serious again. “Tell me: why did you help me?”

“What?”

“When I asked you to delete the picture, why did you accept it if you hate Sempai that much?”

Shibuya looked away, embarrassed and blushed harder. “Because you asked me…”

“You don’t answer to the question.”

“Because, that’s all! Why do you ask me that again anyway?”

“I’m just curious…but thanks.” Hirose caressed Shibuya’s hair tenderly, making him even redder. Now, it was Hirose’s turn to blush.

_“Damn…he’s cute_.” He thought, but he shook his head mentally when he realized what he was thinking. _“Wait! Do you think it’s the right time to fantasize?!”_

On the other side, Shibuya didn’t know how to react. He didn’t want to push Hirose away but the more he stayed by his side, the more he got attached to him.

“Okaay…let’s go back to see Tora!” proposed Shibuya walking first.

“Fine.”

 

They stayed with him one hour until the nurse came to ask them the time for the visit was over. Then, they left. Hirose proposed to the teen to drive him back to his home since it was already late. Shibuya accepted and they went to the car. After fifteen minutes, they arrived in front of Shibuya’s building.

“Thanks Hirose-san.”

“No need to thank me. Is there anyone to your house?”

“No. My parents work late tonight but I suppose my mom will be back in few minutes.”

“Ok. I’ll try to visit Tora in the week but I’ve got a lot of work so I won’t be there tomorrow.”

 “Oh…ok. Do your best. I’ll call you if there’s anything.”

“Fine. Have some rest and goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Shibuya smiled and left the car. He made a last sign with his hand to Hirose and entered in his building. The man waited until he finally came in to leave.

 

* * *

 

After two weeks at the isolation, Ryouji had to be placed with the other prisoners. Of course, he was watched closely by the guards to prevent an attack, but everyone and especially the former officer knew that it was just a question of time. Gossips spread fast here and now, Ryouji was more than a simple prisoner, he was a fallen cop.

 

During the shower time, Ryouji was particularly nervous. It was at the precise moment that the guards couldn’t really watch them. Actually, he didn’t need their protection because he could easily (that was what he thought) deal it himself, but if he had to defend, it would just extend his time here, so he tried his best to avoid any problem. And this morning, he had a bad feeling.

“Well, well…look at what we have here…” said viciously a voice behind him.

Ryouji heard people laughing, so he understood quickly that the man wasn’t alone.

“That’s a miracle you held out that long but your time has come, baby…” the guy approached slowly but Ryouji still kept his back on him. “Hold him good, guys. I don’t to see him struggling. It would ruin my pleasure…”

“Don’t worry for that, Man.”

But when the first men started to grab him by the shoulders, Ryouji released himself, kicking them. The first man was jabbed straight in the head with Ryouji’s elbow; the second one received a hit between his legs and the others weren’t saved either by Ryouji’s strength. But since they were several, the cop finally got caught. He received a violent knock on the nape of the neck and fell on his knees, not knocked but disoriented. The others took the opportunity that he was down to hit him with their fists and feet. After a raging of violence, they finally stopped to let approach their leader. The poor Ryouji was bleeding severely from the mouth, the nose and the corner of the left eye. He had been hurt at the arch of the eyebrow and looked pretty bad.

“Poor little thing…if you think it’s hard, just tell you it’s just the beginning…” The man moved his hand dangerously to Ryouji’s body, ready to attack him, when the brunette used his knee to hit the man in the stomach. Hurt by the hit, the leader moved away and the other prisoners realized a bit too late that they should have held him firmly to prevent this.

“Motherfucker!!!”

The leader was trying to catch his breath. Ryouji’s strength wasn’t a legend and he perfectly knew how to hurt pretty bad someone just with a single blow. After five minutes, one of the men looked at the leader.

“Can…we?” he asked, wondering if they could use their turn since their leader wasn’t in position to do anything.

“AFTER ME! HE’S MINE!!” replied with authority the man who seemed to recover.

The guys looked disappointed but nobody dared to complain. The leader seemed to have power in here, so they didn’t take the risk to defy him.

“Hold him good and be sure he won’t move even a toe.”

They obeyed and grabbed Ryouji’s arms and legs firmly.

“Spread his legs. I wanna have a good view…”

Even if Ryouji struggled with all of his strength, they were stronger than him. They literally spread his legs widely, exposing his body.

“Well built! I always wondered how it is to fuck a cop…”

“You mean fucking your fuckers? For once it would be a change for you!” joked Ryouji, still struggling. “What a brave man! You can’t fuck me without the precious help of your fucking monkeys? Where’s your honor?”

“My honor? Lost, at the moment I put a foot in this fucking place. You will understand quickly that the words dignity, honor or pride don’t apply here.” The leader made a sign to another guy. “Shut him. I don’t want to alert the guards with his screams.”

He began to touch his chest, pinching his nipples and let his hand moving down slowly. “I would love to hear your scream, calling for help like a woman, but I promised to my men some fun. It wouldn’t be nice to be bothered by the guards, don’t you think?”

If Ryouji tried to keep his self-control, he was mentally terrorized. Fortunately for him, he had a good poker-face and he didn’t let appear his fear.

The man who received the order to shut him down approached his cock to Ryouji’s mouth. Another guy pulled his hair out to force him to open his mouth.

“Taste mine first. It will be the perfect way to keep you silent.”

Ryouji moved and avoided his organ but he couldn’t resist since the others forced him to turn his head in his direction. During this time, the leader was playing with his testicles, squeezing it. He also rubbed Ryouji’s cock to make him hard. 

“ _Bloody fucker! As if I would be erect for someone like you!”_ cursed mentally the brunette.

He understood quickly that he only way to get out of this nightmare was to hurt one of them to draw the attention of the guards outside, so he opened his mouth reluctantly to let the man introduce his cock. At the second he had it in his mouth, he bit him furiously like a piece of meat until he made him bleed. The man struggled and his screams drew the attention of the guards who arrived immediately.

“EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW!!!”

No one got the chance to escape. It was the end of Ryouji’s torment but he was still bleeding from his injuries.

“Two men injured. Call the doc!” said a guard in a walky-talky.

 

* * *

 

One week later.

Kaoru was waiting in front of the window. Around her, other people, especially women were talking with some prisoners. She could see the same distress, the same pain in their eyes when she looked at them. But she didn’t feel sorry for them. After all, most of the prisoners here were assassins, rapists…it was different for Ryouji. Yes, her brother wasn’t a gentleman and he could be annoying and nasty sometimes, but he was a good man. He didn’t deserve to be there. She couldn’t help to feel guilty, because if she hadn’t brought Akira in their lives, nothing would have happened…

She was uncomfortable in this place, but she forced herself. She owed it to Ryouji. They hadn’t let her see him during the first month. She called Ryouji once in the week as it was allowed. She wanted to come sooner, but Ryouji always refused. He didn’t want to let her see him so disgraced and she thought it wasn’t a good idea to go against his will. Each time she called him, he asked about Tora and she always gave him the same answer: nothing changed. But after several weeks, he finally accepted to let her visit him. She brought him some money and meals he liked. Now, she was waiting for him with impatience. But even if it was hard to admit it, she wanted to make it fast because she couldn’t support to be here.

After five minutes, the door at the other side of the widow opened. A guard made Ryouji come in. The brunette was wearing handcuffs and seemed to walk with difficulties. She immediately understood something happened, because he had scars and bruises on his face. Actually, it wasn’t a surprise and it was what she feared the most.

“Hi sis.”

“Ryouji…what happened to you?”

“A welcome gift.” Smiled sarcastically Ryouji. “That’s why I didn’t want to let you come here.”

 “Can’t they give you a personal cell?”

“That’s not a hotel, Kaoru. There’s no place. Besides, I’m not a V.I.P. They already put me at the isolation for a long time to protect me, but they can’t watch me 24 hours.”

She looked down, ashamed.

“Don’t make this face. I knew worse.”

She wanted to ask but she changed her mind. Even if it happened, Ryouji was too proud to say it and it was useless to twist the knife in the wound.

“How is Tora?”

“…”

“I see. Stupid question. If something good had happened, you would have told me.”

“I’m starting to lose faith. The doctors tell me to believe in him but each passing day looks like yesterday…”

“We’re never used to this even if it’s not the first time for us.”

“Yeah…and that’s because it ended badly for dad and my husband that I’m starting to…”

“Shut up.” Ryouji fixed her with anger. “If you, his own mother, can’t believe in him, who can he rely on?”

“…”

“Stop being coward. As long as he breathes, there’s still a hope.”

“I guess I’ve no right to complain compared to you.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But that’s what I think. Because of me, you’re…”

But Ryouji cut her immediately. “I’m here because of myself and myself only, so keep your fucking comment for yourself. What is done is done, so now, stay focused on your son. That all matters.”

“Do i disappoint you?”

“Why do you ask me that?”

“I forced you to live with my son without even have asked you first just because of my work; I invited a perfect stranger in our lives and he raped my son and sent my brother in jail…and now, I come here and I complain about my life. I’m probably the most selfish woman it could exist.”

Ryouji didn’t reply. In his head, he was thinking in a complete different way. _“I betrayed you, sis. I brought your son to bed with me, I abused him mentally and physically before rejecting him like a piece of shit, I let your fiancé blackmail him and rape him, I provoked this car accident and to finish destroying your life, I killed Akira. Who’s the biggest bastard in this story?”_

“I met your lawyer about two days ago. He told me he will try to reduce your sentence again talking with the judge and…”

“Tell him to stop this.”

“What??? But…” Kaoru blinked when she heard Ryouji saying that.

“Four years for what I’ve done isn’t so bad. I have to pay for my crime.”

“Stop saying nonsense, will you?”

“Go back to the hospital. Tora needs you more than me right now.”

“Ryouji…” she tried to hold him with her, but he called the warden who came to pick him up. “Please don’t leave.”

“Take care of you.” Then, Ryouji left the room without turning back, despite Kaoru’s pleas. She sighted, depressed, and left at her turn for the hospital. Ryouji’s reaction was unbelievable.

 

* * *

 

At the hospital, Shibuya was by Tora’s side. Since it was Saturday, he didn’t work so he came in the morning. He was looking at him sleeping peacefully when the monitor which controlled his heartbeats began to ring dangerously. Shibuya didn’t waste any more time and called a nurse pressing the emergency button.

“HELP! HURRY!” he called in the room. “Hold on Tora. Don’t do that to me or I swear I’ll never forgive you!!”

Three nurses arrived quickly. They checked the monitor and one of them left to call the doctor. The second one moved to Shibuya.

“Please wait in the corridor.”

“But my friend! What’s happening?”

“Please, Son! Stay outside!”

The doctor joined them and checked at his turn the monitor. “Breathing difficulties. Put him on ventilator immediately.”

“Yes Sir!”

“What’s happening?” continued to ask Shibuya, panicked, and still refusing to leave the room.

“Bring him out of here now!”

“Leave please! Let us working. Don’t worry, we take care of your friend, but now we need some space to work, so stop disturbing us!” insisted the nurse.

Shibuya left reluctantly and waited in the corridor, terrified. He stayed in front of the door during five long minutes and decided to go to the waiting room. He couldn’t relax and was walking and walking again. He took his cell phone and sent a message to Hirose.

 

One hour later, Hirose joined him.

“Shibuya-kun! I did as fast as I could! How is he?”

“Hirose-san!” Shibuya jumped in his arms and hugged him tightly. He really needed to be comforted. “I don’t know! The doctor and the nurses are still with him…”

“Where’s his mother?”

“She’s on the road. She left the prison about thirteen minutes.”

“Ok, don’t panic. Everything is gonna be alright…” reassured Hirose, brushing the teen’s hair.

Kaoru arrived at the same time the doctor left the room. Everyone ran to him.

“Doctor! How is Tora?”

“He’s alright now. He started to have some difficulties to breathe so it would have been a beginning of a heart attack but the lack of air provoked a little choc which made him react.” Began to explain the man.

“What? You mean…”

“Yes. It’s not actually a bad thing because he seems to have recovered some reflects…even if he’s still in the coma. But I’m optimistic.”

Everyone looked relieved.

“Can I see him?” asked his mother.

“Sure but one after another please.”

“Go first.” Said Hirose to Kaoru.

She nodded and went to the room. Shibuya took a large breath to recover from the shock he had, but he was still shaking.

“Hey…relax. You heard the doctor, right?”

“Yes…but I’m still shocked. I was so scared to lose him…”

 

The boy couldn’t help to tremble, so Hirose proposed him to go outside to have some fresh air. They went in a corner, just behind a tree, in the park of the hospital, to have some privacy.

“Are you ok now?”

“Yes. Thanks to have come.”

“No need to thank me. Actually, I’m happy to see that you called me first.”

The kid blushed; he didn’t realize that until Hirose told him. He hadn’t thought even a second when he called him. It was an evidence for him.

“Hirose-san…i…”

“You?”

“I…” the boy was searching his words but nothing came. He didn’t know what to say.

Hirose couldn’t help to be touched by his shyness. In these moments, he just wanted to touch him with affection. That was exactly what he did, touching his hair. Feeling the touch, Shibuya found the courage to face Hirose and locked his eyes on his. Without even notice or understand, the both of them moved closer to each other and in an instant, they pressed their lips together. The first contact was a bit awkward, as if no one knew what he did, but after some seconds, they seemed to get some confidence and kissed deeply, forgetting everything around them. Hirose pressed his hand on the back of Shibuya’s head while the teen enrolled his arms around the man’s shoulders. But this perfect moment was suddenly ruined by a familiar voice, calling in the park.

“Shibuya-kun! Hirose-san!”

They both recognized Kaoru’s voice that seemed to look for them, and they broke the kiss immediately. They hadn’t had the time to talk or to look each other that they joined her.

“Where were you? I was looking for you in the whole hospital.”

“Sorry. Shibuya-kun wasn’t feeling very well so we went outside to have some fresh air. How is Tora?”

“Still sleeping, but after what the doctor said, I’m relieved.”

“Yes. Us either.”

“Can I see him?” asked Shibuya.

“Yes. I was looking for you for this. Go ahead.”

“Thanks.” The kid left them without turning back. He didn’t want to face Hirose after what happened. It was too embarrassing. Hirose just looked at him leaving, as uncomfortable as if he was.

Kaoru noticed the sudden tension.

“What’s wrong?”

“What?”

“You look thoughtful. Is there something wrong with Shibuya-kun? Did you have a fight with him?”

“No!” replied Hirose even more uncomfortable. “I was just worried for him but it’s ok now.”

“I see…well, thanks to be there, Hirose-san.”

“You’re welcome. Shibuya-kun told me you went to the prison? How is Sempai?”

Her face changed abruptly. “Bad.”

“You mean physically or mentally?”

“Both. When he came in the parlor, he was covered of bruises and scars on the face…”

Hirose sighted. “It was predictable.”

“Yes…”

“And mentally?”

“He feels guilty for what happened…and he even reproached me to not be strong enough for Tora…”

“Don’t be mad at him. You know how he is.”

“That’s not what it bothered me the most.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, I mentioned that I saw his lawyer lately to talk about a try of a possible reduce sentence but he categorically refused. He told me he had to pay for his crimes and it wasn’t necessary to try.”

“…”

“I mean, it’s not like he liked to be there so doesn’t he want to try to get out of there sooner? It’s incomprehensible.”

But Hirose perfectly knew the reason. “ _He’s looking for redemption for what he did to Tora…”_

“Leave this to me. I’ll try to meet the judge in few days. I already started to work on his case lately, so just take care of Tora.”

“Really? Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. This way, you won’t argue again with him about this.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say…thanks Hirose-san.”

“No problem.” He looked at his watch. “I better leave now. I’ll see Tora later, ok?”

“As you wish. Thanks for coming and for all what you do for us.”

“Say goodbye to Shibuya-kun for me.”

“Sure. Goodbye.”

Actually, Hirose had nothing particular to do but he didn’t want to face Shibuya after what happened between them. It was coward but he didn’t know how to react so he had to understand first if it was just a kiss without incidence or something else.

 

* * *

 

In jail, Ryouji finally went out of the isolation after few days. He had two cellmates. A little man who looked a bit mad but not dangerous and another big strong man. The first one was moving and playing with a Rubik’s Cube, talking alone. He was tiny with a small fragile body and a bald head. When he saw Ryouji come in, he stopped talking to fix him and got impressed. He went to his bed, keeping his eyes on the new cellmate. The second one was a big black man with long black hair and a short beard. He was reading a newspaper and just gave a quick look to see Ryouji but he went back to his occupations ignoring him completely. Ryouji understood they wouldn’t cause him troubles and it was probably to protect him that they put him with these two men. He reached his bed and lay down on his back to have a nap but stayed on his guards. In jail, he couldn’t trust anyone.

 

Two days later, Ryouji was leaving the refectory after the breakfast. He stayed alone most of the time to not draw problems. The guards tried to keep an eye on him every time which complicated the tentative of the other prisoners to attack him. But it didn’t mean they didn’t try. He found rusty nails on his bed or in his food. Sometimes, people wrote words on the walls of his cell or put some notes on his couch as “ _fucking cop”_ , _“you’re dead, son of bitch”_ or “ _prepare to die soon_ ”.

He began to be used to this. He even didn’t think about it. He was just thinking about Tora, praying that he would wake up soon. The last time his sister came to see him, he reproached her to not believe in him. It was just a way to give her hope but also maybe to convince himself? Deep inside, he hoped to see Tora again, even if he didn’t know what he would say to him and if he could possibly face him now he knew what happened with Akira and after what he did to him. But he wanted it. He missed him.

Thinking about Tora made him put his guard down and he didn’t notice the man who was walking behind him. He finally noticed him when he felt a terrible pain in the back.

“A welcome gift from Yuzuria’s group.” Murmured the man who just attacked him. He had taken the time to put his hand on Ryouji’s mouth to shut him down. Then, he let him fall on his knees and disappeared quickly.

Ryouji started to suffocate. He just had been stabbed in the back and realized too late even just a second’s lapse in his concentration could be fatal. A guard noticed the blood on the floor and gave the alert just before he collapsed.

 

* * *

 

At the same time at the hospital, there was no visitor allowed at this hour. The sun blinded the room. A nurse was checking Tora’s monitor as every morning, when she noticed something different. Tora was doing some noises, groaning softly, when he opened his eyes slowly, blinded by the light…


End file.
